calling slippy

send him a  f ucking pm ffs

mind you own business Victor

Unfortunately I'll be in Bedford B-B, my brother has just bought a new house and he's having a bit of a shindig. Following weekend I'll be in Newcastle for a few days to see the chaps and to take in the Southampton game.

ok no problem

Will your nieces be there??

You filthy beast, leave my nieces alone.

I just wanted you to pass on my good wishes dear chap..

Slippy, I think it's time for drastic action, enroll your nieces, in a "deadly" martial arts school, ASAP.

Or employ a minder at £200 a day.

You available, CMAT, mates rates of course, £199 per day, slippy will snatch you hand off.

He has to deal with each way,s 10 inch blade first.

£200 a day doesn't include petrol (can be expensive) or food.

Hotel bills are negotiable. 

You save on alcohol though, as I don't drink.

I'd deal with each way while eating a slice of toast and reading the Racing Post

2oo + Xs less battle axe deducted at source,= 199 in (cuff) readies

Would both be in the same hand?

No, he'd **** himself if I stared at him

Once my wanger is on the march, Mossad couldn't stop him..

each way just texted me and said he would meet you in any pub in Newham for 'square go'. He says friends are welcome. Apparently he's going to be solo.

Only on chit chat could a thread that B-B innocently started asking me if I'm around for a pint at the weekend turn into a debate on what's the best form of protection to keep guiness2dear's mucky paws off of my teenage nieces.

Not his paws you should be worrying about...!

I hope you fully appreciate our concern for their chastity, in the shadowy threat of G2dear's wanger!!

Bolocks, I'll have to go to confession after all this smutty talk.

Mr Wanger has awoken, ye should all be scared...

Lock the St James's gates boys, he might be thirsty.

Arthur has my back..

So we've heard g2d...!

Keep it clean, Corky..

Talking of which, time for the pressure washer to cool this fecker down..