£5 trixie

was looking forward to the golf tonight ( i love having a flutter on the last round of the pga) but it was a women's tourny', so didn't bother.

i've heard palmer is a good tipster.

Couldn't lay off because all three tournaments were being played at different times around the world.Apparently Scott lipped out on the last to force a play offI'm not being greedy because i still picked up a few hundred but all three would have made it carnival time in Elm Park.

Sorry to hear of your loss cmat..I've lived in Elm Park since 1976 so i must have brushed shoulders with your dear old mum.

Hornchurch provides the best Chicken Kebab shop in Essex..The Charcoal grill(opposite the railway tavern)..next time your visiting your friend i strongly advise you order one...you will not be disappointed.

What chew laughing at gringo?

Presumably the kebab shop is run by moslems?  Can't see cmat popping in.

Turks actually and they are very polite for foreigners

Next time I'm in I'll ask em

twizzle22    24 Nov 14 17:01 
Sorry to hear of your loss cmat..I've lived in Elm Park since 1976 so i must have brushed shoulders with your dear old mum.

I'm not sorry.

Have you any marks down to an old bird about 5 feet 8 swiping you with her diamond cluster rings, any stab marks, ciggie burns? earache from verbal abuse?

If not, it's a safe bet you didn't bump into my mother

My nephew and nice informed me that all her family and friends showed up at her funeral.

The total 'crowd' was as follows:
her youngest sister, who never took her husband, and none of her 6 children attended.
her oldest younger sister, widowed, had her eldest son with her, her other two children didn't attend.
Older brother, and wife, just one of their twin girls attended.
My sister's son and daughter.

Notable absentees:
Me
my sister
my dad's sisters daughter and her husband
My dads brother's widow
Mother's second husband's children (she killed him off within 4 years of marrying him)
and the rest of the world.

No friends...none, zilch, nada.

Which I found funny.

..don't know what to say after that tirade

And that doesn't include the lies the demented old bat told us as kids.

Here are just a few:

'Nanny wanted us to name you Alexander, after your dad's brother that died, but we chose not to.'

There was no brother that died. (I could have been a smart Alec)


'You had polio when you were 3 years old.'

These days, blood tests show whether you had polio or not, no matter how many years ago it was. I had my doctor get the Haematology clinic to check for it after a routine test. They confirmed that I've never had polio.


'Uncle Charlie (her brother) was your dad's best mate in the Army.'

Imo my dad would NEVER have had such a w@nker for a mate   but chronologically, that could have worked, if the next lie wasn't told.

'There is 6 years between each one of us being born (her brother and two sisters)'

The wonders of Ancestry UK reveal that:
Her brother was born in 1927
she was born in 1929
her next sister was born in 1931, but died in 1932 (who none of us had ever heard of)
the next sister was born in 1935
and the youngest sister was born in 1940

It's a fair bet that the youngest two don't know about their sister that died.

You see, with her imaginary 6 year gaps, I thought Charlie was born in 1923.

In 1942, when my dad was 21 and got called up, Charlie was only 15 years old. Another load of bollocks.

And my sister buying them a set of silver goblets for their 25th anniversary in 1975.

It was their 24th

Small wonder I had big muscles, hanging in there, making sure I wasn't born until after the wedding, which was in 1951. 

he loves her really 

I have a feeling cmat wouldn't turn up to his own the funeral the bitter twisted old &$&%

I read his book cmat, he wasn't mad, he was a complete and utter sadistic psychopath who knew exactly what he was doing.