Who am I?

.

David Blaine. copyright: Ken Masters.

I didn't copyright it, which is a shame as I could have hit you with a bill for thousands.

Both wrong.

I wouldn't have paid up if you had.

Mullah Omar?

Very close, but no Hamlet.

I was going to say 80s pop sensation Omar but couldn't remember his smash hit, so googled it and it turns out his real name is Omar Lye-Fook! So, him.

90s apparently. I've shamed meself.

Jason Lee's scuba diving instructor?

And your family. Non.

Clue 2: I'm not Spongebob Squarepants, Omar thingy, Mullah Omar or Pope Gregory IX. Or David Blaine, come to think of it.

David Miliband

That's him

Non to tout, so far.

And I know what you're all thinking, but no, I'm not meloidogyne javanica either.

Gary the Snail also lives in one I suppose

No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

HHSV gets it, marvellous detecting, sherlocky.

Points to Crips for textbook denial of disbelief suspension. #Parklife

some uncharacteristic typos from KM this avo.

Keyboard's full of sandwich crumbs, I can barely make out the keys. The heroin isn't helping much either.