Schalke 04

Tommy is a rum one, if anyone mentioned Lidl or Aldi a short time ago, he'd have turned his nose up at them. Now he's gibbering on about how good they are.

Tommy knows his onions

And where to buy the best tomatoes.

That's not what's in the box though

wtf does it matter what Toes does or says? obsessed, much.

Where does Tommy Toes live (city) and I shall give him a quote

Tell Tommy to leave the payment in an empty margarine tub in the box

Tommy lives in Stoke on Trent.
There's probably some Cava in the box, there might even be a lot of it.

Don't quote him .. he says he'll weigh you in when you're done

I need to quote, as I am the driver I have to ensure it's in my interests .. I need to quote for the distance I travel, please be patient while I calculate, ty

£750 ... in unmarked bills, lower denominations preferred

Hope there is a Burger King close by

He says make it a Grand & watch yer lip in future ...

The joke is lost on you lot .. have none of you watched The Driver 

BBC i-player

'You'll never guess what I've done! As you know I'm a big fan of Lidl now, even though I said only last month that people who shop in there are a lower form of life than dog turds, I found out that they now do home deliveries so I was straight online to get my bargains. There is a delivery charge, but that's fair enough. But I somehow managed to order my shopping from a Lidl store in Scotland!! What am I like!

Instead of the fiver I expected to pay for delivery, it cost me £750!!!! hehehe Oh God, I'm getting over excited so much at my own stupidity that I've knocked a glass of lidl cheap plonk all over my keyboa.....

^^^ Tommy will love that