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On a recent trip to the United States , Tony Blair, former Prime Minister of the UK, and now U.N. Middle East Peace Envoy, addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians.
He spoke for almost two hours on his success in bringing about a lasting peace settlement amongst the warring nations of the Middle East, likening it to the way that the US. Government found a suitable agreement with the North American tribes.
At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle.
A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds..
A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of **** that it can no longer fly.
He spoke for almost two hours on his success in bringing about a lasting peace settlement amongst the warring nations of the Middle East, likening it to the way that the US. Government found a suitable agreement with the North American tribes.
At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle.
A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds..
A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of **** that it can no longer fly.
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Given his record in the Middle East, Custer will be making a comeback..
The old witch doctor died at 105 and his great grandson 22 got the job. He was a modern techy guy and knew nothing nothing of the old traditions. In the Autumn, the tribe approached him and asked him what kind of Winter it was going to be. He didn`t have a clue so muttered "Cold, a cold Winter".
The tribe thanked him and went into the forest. When he saw them chopping down the trees he got a little worried and phoned the local weather station. "Excuse me, can you tell me what kind of Winter we are going to have please?, he asked. "Cold", replied the weatherman. He thanked him and felt relieved.
Next day the tribe approached him again. "Are you sure we are going to have a cold Winter?", they asked. "Of course I`m sure", he replied, "In fact, it`s going to be a very cold Winter". Upon hearing this, the tribe went back into the forest and started cutting more trees down. When he saw this he got worried again and next day phoned the local weather station again. "Excuse me, it`s me again. Are you sure that we are going to have a cold Winter?, he asked. "Cold?", replied the weatherman, "It`s going to be very cold". He thanked him and felt relieved once more.
Next day the tribe approached him again. "Are you sure we are going to have a very cold Winter?", they asked. "Of course I`m sure", he replied, "In fact, it`s going to be a very very cold Winter". Upon hearing this, the tribe went back into the forest and started cutting even more trees down. When he saw this he got worried again and next day phoned the local weather station again. "Excuse me, it`s me again. Are you sure that we are going to have a very cold Winter?, he asked. "Very cold?", replied the weatherman, "It`s going to be very very cold". He thanked him and felt relieved once more.
Next day the tribe approached him again. "Are you sure we are going to have a very very cold Winter?", they asked. "Of course I`m sure", he replied, "In fact, it`s going to be an extremely cold Winter". Upon hearing this, the tribe went back into the forest and started cutting even more trees down. When he saw this he got worried again and next day phoned the local weather station again. "Excuse me, it`s me again. Are you sure that we are going to have a very very cold Winter?, he asked. "Very very cold?", replied the weatherman, "It`s going to be extremely cold, probably the worst since records began". He thanked him and before hanging up asked him, "But how do you know?" "The Indians are cutting down all the trees", replied the weatherman.
The tribe thanked him and went into the forest. When he saw them chopping down the trees he got a little worried and phoned the local weather station. "Excuse me, can you tell me what kind of Winter we are going to have please?, he asked. "Cold", replied the weatherman. He thanked him and felt relieved.
Next day the tribe approached him again. "Are you sure we are going to have a cold Winter?", they asked. "Of course I`m sure", he replied, "In fact, it`s going to be a very cold Winter". Upon hearing this, the tribe went back into the forest and started cutting more trees down. When he saw this he got worried again and next day phoned the local weather station again. "Excuse me, it`s me again. Are you sure that we are going to have a cold Winter?, he asked. "Cold?", replied the weatherman, "It`s going to be very cold". He thanked him and felt relieved once more.
Next day the tribe approached him again. "Are you sure we are going to have a very cold Winter?", they asked. "Of course I`m sure", he replied, "In fact, it`s going to be a very very cold Winter". Upon hearing this, the tribe went back into the forest and started cutting even more trees down. When he saw this he got worried again and next day phoned the local weather station again. "Excuse me, it`s me again. Are you sure that we are going to have a very cold Winter?, he asked. "Very cold?", replied the weatherman, "It`s going to be very very cold". He thanked him and felt relieved once more.
Next day the tribe approached him again. "Are you sure we are going to have a very very cold Winter?", they asked. "Of course I`m sure", he replied, "In fact, it`s going to be an extremely cold Winter". Upon hearing this, the tribe went back into the forest and started cutting even more trees down. When he saw this he got worried again and next day phoned the local weather station again. "Excuse me, it`s me again. Are you sure that we are going to have a very very cold Winter?, he asked. "Very very cold?", replied the weatherman, "It`s going to be extremely cold, probably the worst since records began". He thanked him and before hanging up asked him, "But how do you know?" "The Indians are cutting down all the trees", replied the weatherman.
The little Native American lad we adopted got sent home from school today for fighting.
I phoned up the Headmaster and said, "Did you really need to send him home? Surely it's not unusual for new boys to get in the odd scrape or two before they settle in?"
"Absolutely not," He agreed, "But today was the first time anyone got fukcing scalped!"
I phoned up the Headmaster and said, "Did you really need to send him home? Surely it's not unusual for new boys to get in the odd scrape or two before they settle in?"
"Absolutely not," He agreed, "But today was the first time anyone got fukcing scalped!"
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