NO MATTER HOW NICE YOU ARE THERES ALWAYS LOADS OF PEOPLE WHE CANT STAND YOU

SOME PEOPLE LIKE ME JUST LOOK AT SOMEONES FACE AND SAY TO THEMSELVES IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THEM

P!$$ off!!!

Aunty Post = your ex Do Wah Diddy???????

THERES ALLWAYS SOMEONE READY TO HAVE A GO AT YOU ,I WAS STOOD AT THE BAR IN BLACKPOOL WHEN A MAN CAME IN AND BOUGHT US ALL A PINT ,AND ONE MAN SAID HES GOT ENOUGH MONEY SO HE SHOULD

I don't care if anyone doesn't like me, it doesn't stop me watching sport ... thats all I care about

EVEN WHEN JESUS PULLED ALL THE FISH FROM THE SEA TO FEED THE MASSES ,SOME PEOPLECMOANED THAT THEY DIDNT LIKE FISH

Oct 2, 2014 -- 11:15AM, Do wah Diddy wrote:

EVEN WHEN JESUS PULLED ALL THE FISH FROM THE SEA TO FEED THE MASSES ,SOME PEOPLECMOANED THAT THEY DIDNT LIKE FISH

maybe it's cause they wanted chips with the fish but chips hadn;t been invented back then

SCHALKE IVE NOT SEEN THAT SIDE OF YOU BEFORE

YOU SAY YOU JUST WANT TO WATCH SPORT,THE OTHER DAY YOU WAS WANTING TO PACK UP AND BE LIKE LAWENCE OF ARABIA AND TRAVELL THE WORLD

YOU CANT JUST GET ON A CAMMELL WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT

ITS OK WITH THESE FANCY IDEAS THAT COME INTO YOUR HEAS BUT IVE SEEN PEOPLE BOTTOMS AFTER A COUPLE OF HOURS ON A CAMMEL ,ITS NOT A PRITTY SIGHT AND IF YOURE WEARING SHORTS YOUR INNER THIGHS GET BURN MARKS ON THEM

PLUS HAVE  YOU EVER TRIED TO PLACE A BET ON A LAPTOP WHILE YOUR RIDEING A CAMMELL THROUGH THE DESERT ,ILL BET YOU THAT YOU PRESS THE WRONG BUTTON AT LEAST ONCE

Sabah el kheer my friend. As you have discovered with your bottom inspections, the desert can be a cruel mistress and unsuitable for your soft Salford backsides. Ma'a salama!

Or whilst pleasuring yourself!

AUNTY POST PLEASE DONT  TALK LIKE THAT ,THIS IS A WATERSHED THREAD LIKE ALL MINE I DONT LIKE CRUDE TALK

I SAW LAURENCE OF ARABIA IN THE ISLE OF MAN,IM THAT TRAVELLED AND SEEN THE WORLD THAT IVE BEEN TO THE CINEMA FAR AWAY FROM ENGLAND

I ALSO SAW WEST SIDE STORY THERE ANOTHER YEAR WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT ,I DIDNT APPRECIATE IT THOUGH AS I WAS ONLY VERY YOUNG AND DID NOT APPRECIATE OPERA SINGING IN THEM DAYS

Have you been to the Isle of Wight Do Wah? You have to get on a boat to go there.

NO BUT ALL MY FAMILYS BEEN AND SAID ITS BEAUTIFUL

depends where you stay fon , if you stay in rookley you dont

but if you stay in manchester you could swim or fly also

ONE YEAR I WENT TO SEIDE IN TURKEY AND THERE WAS TWO OLDER LADY SISTERS WHO WERE THERE CHASING ALL THE WAITERS ,THE FOLLOWING YEAR WE WENT THE SAME WEEKS AND THE SAME TWO SISTERS WERE THERE ,THEY HAD TO MOVE ONE OF THE WAITERS TO ANOTHER BAR AS HE WAS SCARED OF THEM ,THEY WERE IN THEIR LATE 50S

THE SISTERS WERE FROM THE ISLE OF WIGHT

maybe they are dead now

THEY PROBERBLY ARE OR SAVING UP FOR THEIR NEXT HOLIDAY IN TURKEY

what month do they go you should go meet them again

I USED TO LOVE MY HOLIDAYS WHEN I WAS DRINKING SITTING IN THE SUN AT A BAR WATCHIN G THE BUBBLES RISE UP IN THE GLASS OF LAGER ,WITH THE SUN ON MY BACK ,WITH A LOAD OF MONEY IN MY POCKETS,THEM DAYS ARE LONG GONE

LIKE IVE SAID BEFORE ,I REMEMBER SITTING ON THE BEST BEACH IVE EVER BEEN ON IN  CANCUN MEXICO WITH A PINT OF LAGER AND A KEBAB WITH THE SUN SHINING AND LOADS OF MONEY IN MY POCKET,SAYING TO MYSELF JUST BEHAVE YOUR SELF DO WAH DIDDY  AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS FORVTHE REST OF YOUR LIFE ,BUT I COULDNT JUST DO THINGS IN MODERATION AND NOW I FACE THE CONSEQUENCIES

Do you miss carryokee?..I bet you had a powerful voice.

YES EVEN WITH THAT I WANTED TO BE ON ALL THE TIME AND GOT FED UP OF WAITING FOR MY TURN

AND THEN JUST AS I GOT ALL EXCITED SOME ONE WOULD SING MY SONG JUST BEFORE IT WAS MY TURN

ONE MAN IN ORLANDO SAID TO ME HE WAS FROM TEXAS AND HE WISHED THEY COULD HEAR ME SING RHINESTONE COWBOY IN TEXAS ,I TOLD HIM TO COME IN THE NEXT EVENING AND I WOULD GET THE AMPLIFIER TURNED UP SO THEY COULD

THE ONLY TIME I WASNT APPRECIATED WAS WHEN I WAS IN TUNISIA ,WHEN I SANG THE LORDS PRAYER BY CLIFF RICHARD

I DONT THINK IT WAS BECAUSE THEY WERE MUSLIM ,I THINK ITVWAS BECAUSE THERE WAS A RUMOUR GOING ABOUT THAT HE WAS GAY

THEY CAME ROUND WHEN I DID THE BIRDY SONG THE NEXT NUMBER

THE SHERETON WAS THE BEST PLACE FOR CARRYOKEE IN ORLANDO,THEY GAVE YOU A FREE TAPE RECORDING WHEN YOU GOT UP TO PERFORM ,I HAD ENOUGH MATERIAL ON TAPE TO MAKE ABOUT A DOZEN LPS

IN A BAR IN BARBADOS THE D J SHOUTED GOOD NIGHT DO WAH DIDDY,WHEN I WAS LEAVING I WENT UL TO HER AND SAID YOU REMEMBERED MY NAME SHE SAID I WILL NEVER FORGET IT

WHEN I SANG IN THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC THE D J ASKED IF I COULD WAIT A MIN WHILE HE GOT ALL THE STAFF TO COME AND LISTEN TO MY VOICE,

I REALLY STOOD OUT ABROAD ,I DONT STAND OUT AS MUCH IN SALFORD AS THERES LOADS LIKE ME

PLUS THEIR TOO BUSY DRINKING

When you were in Barbados, did you go and watch the racing at the garrison Do Wah?

I don't know about Cliff Richard but I think Dana International might be.

brilliant Do Wah Diddy

YES I WENT TO THE RACES THERE IN BRIDGETOWN AND I WENT IN A SCRUFFY LITTLE BOOKIES IN BRIDGETOWN IT WAS CHELTNAM WEEK ,AND RACING WAS IN THE MORNING THERE AS THE TIME WAS DIFFERENT TO OVER HERE ,THE RACES WERE A NICE DAY OUT

Did you win any money from the bookies there? Did you eat some Barbecue chicken and rice?

NO I LOST AT THE RACES AND IN THE BOOKIES,I HAD SOME NICE MEAKS THERE BUT VERY EXPENSIVE EXCEPT FOR THE FISH MARKET CAFES VERY CHEAP

I BOUGHT A COCONUT OFF A FELLA SELLING THEM IN THE STREET ,THINKING I WAS DOING HIM A GOOD TURN ONLY FOR HIM TO RIP ME OFF.THE STORY OF MY LIFE

They give you a cheap present then tell you a story about how their mother is sick and needs an operation and can you give them some money to help. Then you feel sorry for them and give them some money hoping they will go away.

NO HE TOLD ME THEY WERE THROWING HIM OFF HIS PLANTATION UNLESS HE COULD SELL ENOUGH COCONUTS TO PAY HIS RENT

WHEN I TOLD HIM THEY WERE TOO DEAR,HE SAID HE WAS SORRY BECAUSE HE HAD HARDLY ANY COCONUTS LEFT ON HIS TREES

THATS WHY HE NEEDED TO CHARGE SO MUCH,HE SAIS HE DIDNT KNOW WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO WHEN HIS LAST COCONUTS HAD GONE AS HIS WIFE WAS TOO OLD TO GO ON THE GAME

That's very sad. It was good of you to help him out.

Did he ask you if you needed anything?

These lads are very helpful if you can't find something you need.

YES HE GAVE ME A GOOD EXCHANGE RATE FOR MY U S DOLLARS HE ONLY CHARGED ME 50% THATS LESS THAN DOUBLE

They sell hello Vera and other things they don't sell in the shop.

NOT AFTER MY EXPLOITS IN THE GAMBIA WHEN I SENT A LAD TO GET ME SOME MENTHOL CIGS FOR MY WIFE AND I THOUGHT HE WAS QUICK ,HE CHARGED ME TREBLE FOR SOME CIGS HE BOUGHT IN THE SHOP 30 YARDS FROM OIR HOTEL ,I DIDNT BUY THEM FROM THERE BECAUSE I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE TOO DEAR

DONT TELL ME ABOUT HELLO VERA,I WAS BURNT ON THE BEACH WHEN A BLACKMAN APPROACHED ME ON THE BEACH HE SAID YOUR BURNT TRY SOME HELLO VERA ,I SAID WHO OR WHATS HELLO VERA HE SAID IT WILL SOOTHE YOUR SUNBURN,I SAID NO THANKS BUT HE MADE ME HAVE SOME,THEN HE TRIED TO SELL ME SOMETHING BUT I WOULD NOT BUY ,THEN HE SAID YOU OWE ME FOR A BOTTLE OF HELLO VERA THAT YOUVE USED ,I SAID YOU GAVE IT ME ,ILL BUY YOU A PINT IF YOU COME TO OUR HOTEL,HE SAID IM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC I NEED TO MAKE MONEY FOR MY FAMILY EVERYBODY ON THE BEACH BUYS OFF ME,I SAID IM SO GLAD THEN YOU WONT NEED MY MONEY,MY EX WIFE AND MYSELF THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO FILL ME IN ,BUT HECJUST SWORE AT ME AND LEFT

THE HELLO VERA EPISODE WAS IN BARBADOS

It's cactus juice, they grow a lot of it in Barbados in their back gardens.
It's better to use factor 30 instead.

He didn't want a pint he wanted some rum.

YES MY EX WIFE KNEW ABOUT IT BUT ID NEVER HERD OF IT

Glad you enjoyed your holiday Do Wah and the barbecue fish.
I'm off to have my tea now for half an hour then I have to put the bins out me and the neighbours.

SEE YOU FOINAVON