A list of things that real men don't do.

1. Hit women - Never but I'm not counting smacking bare bottoms.
2. Hit children - Never
3. Tell lies - If being economical with the truth counts then guilty as charged.
4. Shave your chest - Why would I want to shave my chest?
5. Shave your pubes - Not shaved but a trim every now and then.
6. Wear make up - Not as a rule but I did wake up once with my finger and toenails painted in shocking pink when I passed out by some bunny boiler.
7. Treat the roads like a Formula 1 racetrack - I've never been bothered about cars or driving fast. I absoltely loathe F1.
8. Ask another man for directions - Be serious.
9. Miss the chance to make a list. - I didn't get where I am today by not making lists.
10. Cry when watching a film. - In Kramer v Kramer I just had something in my eye that's all.
11. Drink with your pinkie out. - Flogging them that do it should straighten them out.

eat weetabix 

wear a ponytail

^^^ Stopped eating WEETABIX a week ago   changed to coon flakes,  and I'm facking starving most of the day

corn flakes ffs

The ponytail was the 90s that went a long while ago, along with my physique

Freudian slip there cmat?

not cry when watching scott gibbs score that injury time try at wembley!

Apparently listen to Richard Marx if the conversation I had at work is anything to go by (this coming from a work colleague of mine who thinks it's OK to dress like a 12yo and listen to Limp Bizkit and Ugly Kid Joe...).

The modern burd won't let you get away with an ungroomed under carriage, its a quid pro quo thing.

That was just truly hideous lanza, it's in my top three of gambling related disasters and I've been punting for over 40 years. I couldn't speak for two days after that try and the Jenkins conversion. Simply awful memory.

Please don't mention it again.

If I was in my prime she would.

My post was to Ozymandius

SlippyBlue    
. I couldn't speak for two days after that try and the Jenkins conversion.

Is that Katherine Jenkins converting to married bliss last week.

Yes, course she would, Catweasel.

If she didn't, it was her loss.

sorry slippy...thought you might come back with slip robert for me!  lol.  Was my biggest loss to date,  not been punting 40 yrs tho. I almost cried as robert romped home but can laugh now finally.

wonderful try being a welshman, and if you could choose any kicker in the world from any era you'd want jenks...must have been awful watching jenks line it up knowing he's gonna kick it.

wont mention it again.  what have been the other 2 if you dont mind me asking?

12. Moisturise

I'll tell you later, I am out out to meet a fair maiden and need to leave right now.

wont mention it again.  what have been the other 2 if you dont mind me asking?

Backing himself at at low odds to get his leg over Letitia Dean
Backing himself at at low odds to get his leg over Keira Knightley
and at 20s for a two's up

13. Spend half his life on an internet forum trying to be provocative.

Slippy doesn't do that.

I love doing No.9 !!

lol cmat. no worries slip.

10. Start threads asking people what their favourite musical is.

23. walk, with a spring in one's step, to moonlight shadow (by mike oldfield & maggie reilly)

24. ask for a straw with your strawberry daiquiri.

25. Drink Responsibly

26. Ask for Fries instead of Chips

Walk around an airport towing one of those tiny cases on wheels

99. Worry about what anybody says about them.

Fack off cmat you big woofter

REPORTED

Have a Fillet o Fish from McDonalds.
Order a glass of wine from a pub.
Watch Sex in the City.
Think about Christmas shopping before December.
Wear Pyjamas.

Use an umbrella - other than on a golf course
Wear a handbag
Ask for anything other than 'a cup of coffee' at Starbucks, Costa Coffee etc.

Does the thing that real men don't do begin with a?
Does the thing that real men don't do begin with b?

Dye their heir
Iron underwear

*hair* ffs

Put the fekking toilet seat (and lid) down!

Get fat

Watch telly without massaging your betty swallocks

eat quiche

Vote No when you have the chance of independence for your country.

Say the words "loo" or "poo"

Wear trainers unless participating in sports

Drive a car

covet the neighbour's wife

Swear in front of kids or your parents...unless your Dad's a c*nt.

Swear in front of kids or your parents

Saw that and my brain instinctively went 'too f*cking right'.

Mixed messages in my mindset there :)

curious-cat 01 Oct 14 18:48

wear a ponytail GrinDevil

Still tailed-up here, as the cat knows!

Own a Manbag

manicure

Cheat on their wives, especially with kids involved
Put family times before going out on the piss with their mates.
Spend loads of time on a computer or watching TV

Watch X Factor ,in the Jungle,Big Brother,F1,Top Gear,Period Dramas,Strictly,

Bake a fruit cake
make pots of Jam
Drive a mini
Darning ya socks

55 replies and not one person has said 'Take a nob up your ringpiece'

Betfair, land of the closet gayer

You're not a man 'til you've had a man CMAT.

a real man would never say
I don't gamble
I don't enjoy a drink
my wife earns more than me. if you ever have the misfortune to meet a man who uses any of those three phrases walk away immediately..

wear bracelets

Take a nob up your ringpiece.