Things that always or never happen in Eastenders or Coronation Street

No two characters have the same first name

Exactomundo. No 2 geezers in the same street called John? No thanks, I'll get my fix of reality TV with Bagpuss

coronation street set in Manchester, but I have yet to see any city or united fans in the rovers return either pre or post match. also eastenders set in londons east end but I have still to see a group of west ham or millwall fans having a drink on matchday in the queen vic..maybe football fans are just good judges..

Nobody goes to the toilet except to speak to somebody else

They both keep the NHS very busy and everybody
gets a job locally.

rita puts a t infront of every tother word

doc cotton goes to visit her long lost cousin in Cornation Street , Manchester

dev goes to visit his long lost cousin in Walford  , East London

No birds ever boast about being fingered.

Strangest thing in soapland at the moment is surely the sweet factory in
Emmerdale.

Has Walford got more more blacks and asians than whites?

Is there a mosque in Walford?

It never happens that good looking girls tell
Tyrone or Chesney that they are UMF s !!!
In Corry they go with these ghouls !!

Things that always happen - I switch to something else.
Things that never happen - I watch it/them.

Does anyone own a washing machine in EE?

People go to the cafe for breakfast/coffee/sandwich when they only live 5 yards away.
Characters not used for a few weeks and return the colour of mahogany but their partner/spouse is deathly pale.
All characters have relatives abroad who need looking after for a few months when actor needs time off.
Characters have glistening white teeth.
people buy/sell properties and businesses in days.

Murder Rates

Coronation Street: 3 per 1000 (16 in 54 years)
Eastenders: 11 per 1000 (23 in 29 years)

British soaps have a higher murder rate than the world’s homicide capital of San Pedro Sula in north-western Honduras.

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/coronation-street-killings-soap-fewer-7165697

River City is a soap only shown in Scotland, the set has a bus stop
but you never ever see a bus. The show also has a murder rate the
equal of the English soaps.

If anyone dies,their gravestone is up within a day of the funeral. In real life,you have to wait six months for the ground to settle.

A friendly card game will end up with someone throwing their car or house keys into the pot (Nap)

No one ever has a conversation with their friends about operation yew tree and who the next to be arrested might be.

ALWAYS-EASTENDERS
Whenever an old character walks in the queen vic the music stops,its like they've got the fooking jukebox wired up to the door
People go into the cafe and ask whoever is behind the counter if they've seen 'so and so' like its fooking missing persons and while they are there they order a coffee and then leave without it
Every 'do' is in the Vic,wedding receptions,wakes,birthdays,christenings,new year,engagement parties,stag/hen nights,first dates,anniversaries YOU LIVE IN LONDON FOR FOOKS SAKE
'Can you look after my stall for five minutes?' Why?u never sell anything
All the streets around the square are close knit and tight yet people still get mown down at 50mph
NEVER-EASTENDERS-Queen Vic
Nobody ever complains about the beer or asks the staff to top up their pint
Nobody ever comes back from the toilet and talks about the dump they just had
Where do they cook all the meals they serve?

Nobody ever sits in silence, soon as we see them its nyap nyap nyap ... things that always happen, when they get drunk it always leads to some big arguement .. they never just strip of and proceed to make babies

never have ad break in East Enders
always have ad break in Corrie

There are always people who enjoy a Big Shout up down the Pub ,in Eastenders ...

"Characters have glistening white teeth."

Yes, this is something I also noticed in The Village!

How are Walford Town doing these days?

Characters who've been there for years just pack a bag and leave.......usually returning after their attempt to have a career as a proper actor didn't work out.

Half a dozen people live in a two up two down and theres always room for another.

Every man is devastated when he finds out his girlfriend has had an abortion.

How are Walford Town doing these days?

They're away to Weatherfield County in the next round of the FA Cup

Half a dozen people live in a two up two down and theres always room for another.

I haven't watched EE for a while but when I did, they all seemed to take it in turns to live in each of the different houses.

Also, I could never keep track of who owned which business

Everyone always asks for a pint.
Never heard anyone ask what the guest beer is this week.

The pubs are always full every night,
They're shutting down left right and centre in the real eastend,
Nobody never moans about the amount of blacks and foreigners in the area.

"Phil; we gotta talk."
"Not now. Later."

"What's goin' on?"

"You're fam'ly."

Half the plotlines revolve around somebody keeping a secret from someone and then that person finding out...."Why didn't you tell me"  "I didn't want to worry you"...etc.

How is Ben out of the nick? Not watched this rubbish for ages! Didnt he get done for murder? Also Phil got caught carrying out an armed robbery and got about 6 weeks!

Ian's always fancied Sharon. Must be his turn soon!

never seen katy and eva have a lesbian scene in corrie , yet we see the gays get it on regurly

Only time you ever hear
"The drinks are on the house" is in a soap.

No-one ever goes to the toilet.

They're poorly written, badly acted sketch shows and unwatchable anyway.

No one ever sneezes

Little Chinese bloke selling dvd's in the pub.

A few weeks ago , there were about 5 Indian women in saris , sitting in the pub at lunchtime drinking.
I suppose you can find that in every east end pub every lunchtime !!

There's never any dog poo, white or otherwise, on the pavements

No one ever says, "I wonder what happened to Dave Compton."

People leave for their holidays or leave the area in a cab from the pub with enough luggage for a night away.

People return to the area or from their holidays and get dropped off at the pub.

No wedding goes without some major hitch or drama; loads of weddings don't even take place when they are supposed to.

People who have lived in the same area for years suddenly start fancying each other out of the blue.

People just turn up at a local business and ask for a job, no CV, no interview, and get asked to start tomorrow.

Never seem to see them watching the tV, dont they practice what they preach ?

Church ceremonies - weddings, funerals, etc. - always full of people from the Street / the Square, nobody comes from far afield not even family members.

A friendly card game will end up with someone throwing their car or house keys into the pot (Nap)

Four Aces or a Royal Flush are always dealt in this situation.

Whenever theres a betting story, the horse/dog is always 10-1 or more. Ive never seen a bet on a soap or any drama
at odds on.

still waiting for anybody to admit they are hacked off with the main political parties and will vote ukip at the next election.

Was there any looting of shops in August when the riots were on a few years ago?

Whenever betting - and this is in any tv drama - is shown, they invariably **** it up. Only slightly, just to annoy me!

Some bloke in Eastenders was having a punt on a race at Newmarket and they showed the end of the race - on a left-handed track.

Some other bloke had a bet on Persian Punch and was looking at a copy of the racing post with coverage of Derby Day on the front cover. Persian Punch never ran on Derby Day

That kind of thing.

Haven't watched EE since Phil & Grant were on it, but I bet you a million pounds that still nobody has ever ordered a carbonated soft drink in the Vic.

Liz never appears in conservative clothing

No one ever comes into a room and forgets why.
No one ever loses their glasses (spectacles).
No one every speaks properly (like a BBC newsreader).

rogerthebutler    30 Sep 14 07:54 
Whenever betting - and this is in any tv drama - is shown, they invariably **** it up. Only slightly, just to annoy me!

I read on here once that somebody was taking bets on the sex of a baby about to be born, boy and girl were both odds against.

Any horses backed on Eastenders never have Arabic names like Al Mukaddram.
They are usually called Lucky Boy or similar.

One of the characters in Coronation Street may have a serious heart condition. I hope they've researched that more thoroughly.  (I don't know which soap had the betting on the sex of the baby but CS did show a stewards enquiry which lasted about five seconds)

Nicks Bistro has invisible Chef

Devs Corner Shop never has deliveries

Sophie never bulk buys batteries for her Rabbit

Never see a lead female character walking away from the toilet wafting the fumes away with a copy of the Daily Mirror.

People who have rubbish jobs or no discernible means of income, spend 10+ sessions a week in the pub, wear decent clothes, smoke, eat copious amounts of takeaways, own cars, can have holidays at the drop of a hat and generally live a lifestyle to which most couldn't contemplate on anything less than about £500 a week.

On the betting thing, in Heartbeat, Greengrass was taking bets on (i think) a boxing match.
The outsider was 5-1. The lads in the pub moaned that Greengrass was only giving 6-4 for the favourite, so he relented and gave 2-1.

Maybe it was a nailed-on draw?

No baby can be born without a drama.  Usually premature and delivered by someone who isn't a friend of the mother in the back of a car.

Whenever anybody has an argument on the doorstep, the homeowner slams the door on the other person, turns around and leans against the door, looks up at the ceiling and sighs.  Love it

Re betting..
Watching The Bill a few years ago, they were over Rye House , a copper had a gambling problem, he had 10k on a dog.

You never see good acting or people living  boring lives like most of the rest of the UK.

10 grand on a dog at The Rye? Bunny would take a monkey at best and only if he was well in front.

Nigel and Grant had a race round the square once.  Someone started laying bets, Nigel was 10/1 and grant was evens or 2/1.
One character once got a six or seven accumulator up.  But the person putting the bet on made a mistake and backed the rank outsider in the last race instead of the favourite.  He thought he had lost what would have been a 25k win but because the outsider actually won he got 30k.  Difference between a favourite and a rank outsider would surely have been more thanthat.

imposed limit
small bookies

Slightly off-topic but Russell Howard was talking about the Grand National on his show and said something about the horses retiring and going off to stud

Whenever I'm upstairs and the missus is watching soaps downstairs, every time all I hear is massive slanging matches, with copiuos amounts of shouting at the top of their voices at 100 decibels. Sounds more like torture than entertainment.

2) If a character has an accident they are always 50-50 live or die lying in a coma in hospital. They invariably wake up and next esipode they are perfectly fine like nothing ever happenned.

Any incriminating evidence is never disposed of, but hidden in a totally non-secure place, to be found later by somebody else, usually the person that you would least want to find it.

In Eastenders the car lot is probably due to be burned down for insurance purposes.

Funny how some stupid things stick in your memory.

Some people actually thought these were real life programmes, like the first reality telly ....ever.

I'm old enough to recall when Coronation Street started.

One of the story lines was of Ena Sharple's greenhouse having lots of glass panes broken by stones being thrown.

Granada studios were inundated with boxes of tomatoes addressed to Ena.