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Pig farmer Edward Bears had a hard life working 16 hours per day for precious little reward.
What he did have was his prized sow which won every contest it entered and produced the finest piglets anywhere.
One morning he got up to find that the pen was empty and his prized sow was gone.
This was the evening news paper's headline......
"Today's The Day That Eddie Bears Had His Pig Nicked"
Please rate one to ten stars......
What he did have was his prized sow which won every contest it entered and produced the finest piglets anywhere.
One morning he got up to find that the pen was empty and his prized sow was gone.
This was the evening news paper's headline......
"Today's The Day That Eddie Bears Had His Pig Nicked"
Please rate one to ten stars......
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Replies: 34
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******* (7) - I like those "Sam Planks Disco" type jokes.
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3
generous |
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6
Too long for me and I got boared half way through. |
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Well, I walked into this thread with extremely low expectations, and I haven't been disappointed.
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Actually, I have changed my mind... 2/10.
Giving 6/10 for that was one of my rasher decisions. |
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Next day’s headline: Yesterday’s Pig Joke Not Tamworth a Damn, Says Critic.
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Clearly I would have got more if it contained some expletives!
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Well I'm not one to bear a grudge Clouseau so I gave you 5 big stars....
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Let's just say that bigmo has nothing to feel threatened about. ****
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Sorry Aunty, I can only give it 1 star.
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I'm feeling really mean, now.
I will increase my score to 2 but that's your lot. |
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Glad you didn't stick it on the Bigmo thread
 -4 n half |
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8
I like it. I have a few on similar lines (song titles) from years ago (not my work) but can't be arsed typing long jokes at the moment. |
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8?!
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I would take the OP to task over his assertion that the joke is original. Many years ago an almost identical joke was on the circuit which postulated the anthropomorphism of teddy bears and a situation arising where they were using picks to perform some important manual task. The bears were unable to continue with the labouring project due to an overnight theft of their tools. This resulted in the punchline "today's the day the teddy bears had their picks nicked."
So a 1 from me. |
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I have heard similar jokes too, but I think Aunty's joke can definitely be classed as original.
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Fek me our Highness!
Doesn't matter what you think but someone always got there before you. Crazily enough I can now recall something like that, though I wasn't inspired by that and think mine is more inventive. Accordingly please re vote on a scale of -1 to -10.  |
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6
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I know you're a man of integrity AP and that you may have been unaware of this "prior art."
I think it's quite commendable to construct your own jokes so I'll up it to 3 for old times sake. |
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Masterful word play.
I'll give it...ahem...3 |
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I agree that it's worth a 6 because it's not easy to construct an original joke.
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Well, I'm all over "Facebook" with it but the buqqers are even worse than on here!
At least we have some banter here..... |
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9/10 -- quality
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Shouldn't have given it away - Tim Vine would have bought that.
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Police provider wd av been better intro
letsby avenue |
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Aunty! I'm about to watch The Snark!
Can you believe I haven't yet watched it? Especially after all the fuss I made when it wouldn't play Will report back  |
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Aunty!!!!
I was really enjoying it when it completely froze halfway through The Beaver's Lesson  I've taken it out and put it in again several times.. but nothing! It plays fine up till then and will play the extras but nothing beyond halfway through track 8. Just a blank screen. I can hear it now, in the machine, wurring away trying to play. I am so not happy. Mike Batt had better hope he never bumps in to me |
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Going to make myself a chamomile tea in order to calm down
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Heath & Heather relaxing night time infusion with Spearment, camomile and orange blossom.
Still very disappointed but feeling much calmer. Going to give my DVD another try. Sorry for hijacking the thread Aunty |
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5-10 for the joke
10-10 for the song Henry Hall & His Orchestra - The Teddy Bear's Picnic (1932) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZANKFxrcKU |
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Nope, it still froze in the same place so I left it and it's gone back to the beginning.
I will just have to accept that me and The Snark were not meant to be  You won't hear another peep out of me on this matter, Aunty. |
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completely froze halfway through The Beaver's Lesson
Sounds like my first sexual encounter  |
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Crisp
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Not too bad a try from a hamatuer so 7 out of 10.
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