Guess what I need now?

Glasses?

A Will?

A nostril/ear hair trimmer?

Viagra?

You need a cat to calm you down.

.

A hearing aid?

The boy crags got it straight away. I need reading glasses, I was struggling to read my book on the way home on the train the other day and I was sober as well. It's all downhill from here

A favourite stick to stir your paint with?

How did you know that crags by the way? Uncanny.

not out on the town tonight Slippy?

I'll never have an nasal trimmer Toes, I rip them out with a pair of industrial pliers.

Don't make a spectacle of yourself, Slippy.

I was about your age when I needed them, Slippy 

An nasal trimmer!!! Your mate spelling' would be horrified.

I had two weeks on the raz in Spain HH, recharging my batteries. I was watching Wolverhampton and the doggie channel tonight. Have got the boxing on now old stick.

sorry kenny, no excuse for that.

Did I,nahhh.

fair enough Slip :)

Boxing, is it Groves toniht?

It is. Forgot all about it.

4-9 on answer is somewhere above

I had some duck arrangement earlier from M&S and I couldn't read the small print cooking instructions so I just guessed. Getting old is rubbish.
What sort of glasses should I get that won't make me look like a librarian?

Slippy, I made the mistake of spending a lot of dosh in an opticians. Glasses lasted a few weeks before I stepped on them and smashed them.

Just go to the market now and get a pair of magnifying glasses for a few quid.You'll find it best to get a few pairs as it's easier to have them in various places like, lounge, bathroom, bedroom, car etc.

I'm thinking John Lennon jobs with blue lenses.

you'll look the business in them slippy.

get some on a chain like Larry Grayson used to have.

IMAGINE all the women

ffs slippy can do better than larry fecking grayson

what about dennis taylor ones? If they fall down yr nose you will still be able to see out of half of them

You lot are not helping, Larry Grayson ffs. I'm having a midlife crisis here and ye lot are just taking the rise.

Get your eyes tested properly.  You may need a different lens for each eye, like me, and they can be expensive.

They can spot other stuff as well. I have early stage cataracts in both eyes, but it's no big deal these days. 

Only a clumsy facker like crags would break his glasses by treading on them....imo.

My Dad had glaucoma cmat, I'm getting an eye test next week.

I agree with CMAT.

Get a proper eye test Slippy.

Don't just 'make do' with cheap things you can buy from various outlets.

I had an eye test for the first time since I'd left school last year - upon which reading glasses were advised.

I've never even used them once, as I've had no need to - and I paid about £120 for them.

I had/have glaucoma which was diagnosed at the eye test (I already knew there was a fair possibility of it because my brother had it) but wasn't correctly treated for the condition for 2 months after my eye test due to 'Doctor Bloody Quack' delaying my appointment to see a proper opthalmologist - and I also have Meniere's - which I only received the appropriate medication for from 'Doctor Bloody Quack' about 2 weeks before my eye test (another condition which can really affect your eyesight).

Once the appropriate medication for the Glaucoma and the Meniere's was prescribed my eye sight was restored to about 98% of the 100% perfect eyesight it always has been.

cmat and TT do have a point about having an eye test, but most people in their 40s who suddenly can't read small print will require nothing more than magnifyers. Anyway, I had one which didn't show up any other problems and looks like you've got one booked, so good luck with that.

99.9% of opticians would advise glasses when you went to (see) them.

Just like dentists who if ye listened to them, thy would have been walking around like Les Dawson..

Agreed, Guinness.

Funnily enough, I had a letter from Specsavers just yesterday to tell me how it was almost 12 months since my last eye test and how imperative it was that I should have another.

The letter was ripped up and put straight in the bin.

If you do have Glaucoma, Slippy, you have to see an opthalmologist - for free - at either a hospital or a clinic at intervals of whatever they advise where they do a 'field test' and check the pressures of your eyeballs.

I remember the very first time I went to the clinic I was sent to after my initial eye test at Specsavers whereby they carried out the eye chart test and asked me to read whatever was the most comfortable line on it to see.

I read out the very bottom line as easy as pie.

When I'd had the eye test in Specsavers I'd got one of the letters wrong on the bottom line in one eye - but their eye chart was about 1 foot further distant to where the 'proper' opthalmologist had their's placed.

Profiteering, Thatcherite scumbags?

Now why does that spring to mind...

They're all

No one under 50 would think nostril hair might feature large in their future.  But it's even more annoying than baldness, impotence, incontinence, dementia, shark-like children re inheritance, Saga, dissolving joints, C4 presenters and cheese.

If you're going for varifocals, make sure you position everything - test and post - in the same place.  They do give you more freedom than fixed lenses re dropping off the end of your nose.

"Profiteering Thatcherite scumbags"

Wonderful, Tommy...

It's the truth, Guinness.

I was agreeing, Tommy.

Wouldn't trust either of the aforementioned professions anymore than i would an estate agent...

Aye Guinness, I knew you were agreeing. I was just venting a bit more about the evil old hag who has almost totally destroyed this country and all it ever stood for.

Jeeeez I just may dig the vile witch up - just so I can shoot her.

I'll supply the bullets.

The small print on some packaging is rediculous ,I have a Magnifying Glass

I recently had an eye test at specsavers and was told needed varifocals, then i read somewhere about misdiagnosing so booked in at boots, another £15,
same result

It's not until a man develops nostril hair that he can truly appreciate the beauty of a tall woman. They simply don't nag you about it.

Most decent companies offer vouchers towards yer specs so if you are still working slippy its worth asking. I work for Corals tele-bet and got £50 off.The Fcuk black rimmed   are the bizo mate.

Sep 20, 2014 -- 5:16PM, Howdi wrote:

IMAGINE all the women

SlippyBlue   


I'm thinking John Lennon jobs with blue lenses.


Howdi


IMAGINE all the women...




Will they look better or for worse

It's up to you - all in your imagination.

bifocals are rubbish ... in my case they did more harm than good as steps / stairs are out of focus when you look down.

I just need reading glasses. I can read a number plate at 50 paces away but I can't read a newspaper from two feet.

I'm the opposite slippy , can't even read the television if it's across the room lately , online poker has made them twice as bad , but I do quite like my D&G half rimmed designer Bins

B-)

Hell, in the end slippy, you'll do what most of us do when alone - take off your glasses and hold the paper 6" in front of your nose. When I'm horizontal (surprisingly often) I usually do that (bugger kindles and their shifting horizon).  Though varifocals do make you make more of an effort to adjust head/glasses.  If you can be bothered to make the effort, they work.