People that you don't want to really hurt but you'd enjoy giving them a little slap

Scarlett Johansen (buttocks)

Ken, I didn't mean in that way, otherwise we'd get millions of replies ... and one or two might include Vanessa Feltz!
And that would be horrible.

ITV football commentators, particularly Clive Tyldesley
shouty

On reflection, I think I would rather give them a good beating.

Israelis... French and Germans.... and Argentinians... and Africans and Bangladeshies.

Emitdeb,
that's a lot of slapping. You've missed out Americans

anneka rice

deborah meaden

graham norton
louis spence
julian clary
menelaus
northernlad

I'll list the men later

Angela Lansbury

(only when she's Jessica Fletcher so it's not personal)

I've thought of two more.

Alistair Appleton and Ben Fogle

Who is Alistair Appleton? I hear you ask. He's on Escape to the Country

Robson Green for that fecking fishing advert.
@TAXI

Morrissey One slap wouldn't be enough though.

Cilla Black
Matthew Wright

I've change my mind, I'd punch Matthew Wright.

Tommy Sheridan
George Galloway
Might have to stand in a long queue but it would be worth it.

Mathew Wright ....queue would stretch the length of Britain

Clive Tyldesley's a good shout. I would slap him and then burn his Man Utd Champions League video from 1999.

I would also like to slap this Italian guy on BBC4 right now.

Anneka Rice and Annabel Croft

I'd better not go into detail as I don't want to lose my clean-cut image.

That twonk that introduces 'Grand Designs'

The Carr brothers. Alan and some other one.

Michael Mcintyre (nap)

Mick "very popular in the weighing room" Fitzgerald.

akabula
akabula 14 Aug 14 22:14 Joined: 13 Mar 08 | Topic/replies: 5,205 | Blogger: akabula's blog
Tommy Sheridan
George Galloway
Might have to stand in a long queue but it would be worth it.


I've a strong feeling that squire Sheridan would punch you back a mite harder. AND you'd deserve it.

Well Galloway was the boxer so why not him?
Anyways I'd make sure I was way down the line so that when it became my turn neither would have the energy to fight back

This **** on Comedy Central now

Micky Flanagan.

ed milliband

kenny mann    16 Aug 14 21:21 
This **** on Comedy Central now

Micky Flanagan.

COCKNEYIST
REPORTED

No punching, kicking, scratching, spitting, hairpulling or pinching.
Just one (or possibly two) slaps - but can be quite hard and stinging, especially most mentioned on here.

OK a kick then ... go to be that smug guy with the NHS glasses on Pointless with all the answers in front of him - Richard something.

and of course Noel Edmonds

Roy Castle

Daniel O'Donnell

Robert Mugabe
David Lammy
Baroness Warsi
Baroness Scotland
Trevor MacDonald

I'd better shove a white person on the list or northernlad will be seething if he sees it.

Greville Starkey

"OK a kick then.."

Oh no. I definitely won't be kicking anyone. I'm feeling a bit mean for joining in with this thread

Mr Makybe won't hear a bad word against Ben Fogle since he rowed the Atlantic and to be fair he is a good presenter.

So, too, is Alistair Appleton, he might be on again later
I love Escape to the Country  

So, I'll retract their slaps and will just give a teeny tiny one to Jessica Fletcher.

There, I feel much better now

Makybe,
don't be so lily livered.  Great Britain didn't become Great because we felt a bit mean if we slapped somebody.

Go on, slap.

But if it's against your religious principles, I'll allow Quakers a little poke ... if you know what I mean.

my neighbour.

Fiz from corrie

Chaser ...
slap or poke?

and Davina 'I'm genuine' McCall, sickly bitch

mememe probably fkcing lamp her mate , cant stand her

The chaser,
I don't think lamping is allowed ... well probably Vanessa Feltz, Davina McCall, Esther Rantzen, the Richard turd from pointless and the list goes on.

OK you can lamp her.