As a dog walker.....

Hello!

good man

As long its genuine that is!

*as

I didn't get where I am today by cheerily responding to every unsolicited greeting from any old Tomasz, Reinhard or Harald.

Is that Putney?

Twizzle, btw

Top o' the Mornin' to yuh !
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whats your "dead bodies found" count in-running?

Did you find one Bob?

I, like many others, make a point of of responding to greetings from fellow dog walkers...but there's this one bloke who all the rest of us taken to avoiding.

Not content with the English Standard greeting (a quiet 'morning' accompanied by a nod); this lunatic has to shout a manic "MORNING" at the top of his voice the moment he spots you 200 yards away.

Being English, I reciprocate the greeting in a way that signals that I don't want to get involved - by murmering my reply and giving a purse-lipped smile but unfotunately this just sends him off: he starts ranting about people being 'disingenuous' and 'downright rude'. 

The only times this doesn't happen is when he's too preoccupied with staring at his mobile and shouting strange things like "fall you f'cker" to notice me.

****g hell, I can't believe I'm agreeing with twizzle ffs   

]Blimey Baldrick..what going on ear^

Hello twizzle

I only speak to female dog walkers. Saying hello to another male in a quiet park .... well not the done thing is it.

You stud you

I used to find that having a dog was a very good 'ice-breaker' with women. When your manly dog is getting all playful with her girlie doggy, it just melts their hearts. So you sit a little closer together, your eyes meet shyly and you tentatively kiss her. The dogs are happily chasing each other and having lots of fun. So it's back to the serious business of scoring with this young lady. The kissing becomes much more serious and hands are almost uncontrollably seeking flesh, more and more urgently. Her legs slowly part, her breathing is now short deep gasps. She opens her eyes and slowly she takes in the moment, WHAT THE **** IS IT DOING! she screams, as she drinks in the picture my Alf (for such was his name) giving her Dalmatian a good old Teutonic rogering!

Most of this is completely made up...but I was bored.

what a vivid imagination naydam

You're quite right...it was a Labradoodle but my dog asked me not to mention that. Something to do with some spotted Alsatiany pups!

Why do Dog Walkers think they are invisible when their pride and joy is squeezing one out on the verge?

The carbon footprint of a dog is equivalent to about 2.5 4x4 Landcruisers

Muttley is indeed a great ice breaker. If I see a good looking woman walking hers then I'd politely ask if she had a spare doggie bag as my rascal has already used the two I brought with me. (I usually bring about 5 of course.)
Cue a bit of laughter by her who may giggle something like, "yeah here you go, mine has days like that as well."
Then straight into asking her dogs name and then hers and what a lovely dog it is and then from then on, it's always good morning and a bit of chit chat.

This exact thing happened to me yesterday.

She asked me if I had a spare bag as she (or her dog, to be factual) had already used her two up. I said "yes of course - here have two in case he's really on a roll today" (as I always take plenty with me). She said thanks and off we went. Never occurred to me it might be her idea of foreplay.

To be honest, discussing her dog's bowel movements wasn't really working for me as a chat up.

Shouldn't it be 'dogs names' or 'dog's name'? How ironic, considering the username!

Can we please stick to the matter in hand naydam?

Very good Roger, it's not ideal I agree but you can't deny it certainly gets the ball rolling.

It didn't really get the ball rolling for us. She just got two free poo bags from me. Had I been in the mood to beguile her with my witty repartee I could have used it to launch a conversation, but I was more interested in getting back to watch the French Open.