How annoying is it when you run out of bog roll ffs?

Your letterbox is next to your kazi?

no, the kazi is next to the letterbox

How annoying is it when somebody is watching you have a crap through your letterbox

But do you stand up or sit down to wipe?

no, the kazi is next to the letterbox

Where is the bidet, in the living room next to the telly?

by the fridge

Fair enough.

The following is the order when running out:

Kitchen Roll
Newspaper
Flyers/A4 Paper
Undercrackers or socks (public)
Cardboard Tube
Shower (Home)

Pack of 18 very nice soft ply available at the pound shops

Bought some the other day

No real excuse for running out these days

How much did it cost?

£2, a quid for the paper and a quid for the nail brush to get the sh1t off his fingers

Surprisingly good quality in fact.

Was in a pound shop.

Cost a pound.

Absdlute bargain

UKIP leaflet is free

I used to pick my nose and wipe the bogeys on the eyes of photos of Mad Maggie in the papers.

Best you don't meet my mate who wrote her speeches.

silly me thought this may be a serious post.

i was gonna say no, cos i never run out. always have a spare one next to the crapper for such abruptly ending toilet roll eventualities.

i would use a ukip leaflet, would spread it around your bum like nutella

Why is it always a hot sticky tar poo when the loo roll runs out? Never a ghost poo.

And why do Lincoln Logs that refuse to flush away always happen at other peoples houses?

Here I sat in mystic vapour.
Some daft t1t had nicked the paper.
Time was short, I could not linger.
'Fraid I had to use my UKIP leaflet.

smooth stones

ffs sfbtw

that doesn't even scan 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale

In days of old
when knights were bold
and bog paper wasn't invented
you wiped your arse
on a lump of grass
and walked away contented.

One of my grandads nursery rhymes when I was a kid.