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My sister and I were brought up to always say this throughout our childhood. We didn't think it was something enforced upon us, simply a courtesy to our Mum or others who were eating with us. I can't remember having heard this said for donkey's years. I suppose most people don't eat around a table anymore.
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Replies: 38
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You're excused.
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The wifes grandmother, who died last year aged 92, used to be a stickler for the word 'may' in its correct place.
If somebody asked 'Can I leave the table' she would answer 'You could, but you may not. Now ask again.' When the kids were here, I would ask 'can' instead of 'may', and get told to sit in the 'naughty chair' for 10 minutes, much to the kids amusement. She was a good old stick. |
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I bet she was taxi.
I'm suddenly reminded of James Mason in "Spring And Port Wine", who wouldn't let Susan George leave the table until she'd eaten her kippers. She refused to eat them so they were served up every meal, cold, until she did. |
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A great scene from that film, and it's got a cat in it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MwQKeNrt4I |
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NO ELBOWS
and tuck them in!!! and eat it all up that' how I was dragged up |
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"Can I go to the toilet Sir?"
"I don't know if you can but if you can, you may." |
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Do you know my sister May?
No, but thanks for the tip!  |
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we were always brought up to ask to leave the table, I think it was just part of the whole thing of instilling respect for our elders and betters(?)
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when i were a lad we couldnt afford a table
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your sister got married and had kids over 40 years ago... you could've asked a lot sooner you know.
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i hate stuff like that. its usually poor families that do it too. i just say "im gooin for a p1ss"
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what is that no elbows thing? i used to get that as a kid.
just what is wrong with elbows??? i can understand it being rude to stick your c0ck on the table whilst eating, but elbows?? just weird. |
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Because THAT is how it is! There is no need for you to know. Just take your elbows off the table or go to your bedroom.
This, of course, hails back to the time when your bedroom (invariably shared) contained ONLY your bed. |
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Elbows off the table.
Don't speak unless spoken to. Keep your mouth closed while chewing. Don't reach across the table, ask for what you want to be passed to you. Ask to be excused. If you don't eat all your dinner you won't get any 'afters'...as we called it. Always say 'please' or 'thank you' as manners cost nothing. There was no menu like some kids have today, we all ate the same meals. There were no microwaves, mother shopped, prepared and cooked everything. Dad went to work. We lived in a council house and had no house phone. There were no 'Joneses' to keep up with, life was simple. |
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Good post as ever taxi, and all true.
My mother (Dad died when I was 4) used to keep a leather strap on a hook at the top of the cellar stairs. If I saw her heading in that direction I ran like hell. lol She also used to hit me now and then and I'd say, "What was that for, I've been behaving?" She'd say, "That's for nothing, so make sure you don't do anything wrong".  |
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"I don't like this."
"If you were hungry, you would eat it." "Well I am hungry but I'm not eating that." |
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rola cola
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Ah Kenny mann, the preemptive strike
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if someone says to me take your shoes off before you come in, i now say ok i wont bother coming in then. kn0bhead.
the kn0bhead is a fairly importand add-on to the reply imo. |
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Indeed spelling'.
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"eating with your mouth closed"
i have the mates kids around here for their tea quite regular and have to say nearly all of the fkers eat like they should be fed from a trough,its great when my youngest says to them "enjoying that? cos it sounds like it!" when i visit my uncle im sure he purposely serves up pot noodles to my piglet cousins just to pi55 me off,you'd think when i turn up at his house in a motorbike helmet and refuse to take it off til they're finished he'd get the message. |
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*kids mates
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My niece and nephews used to eat like pigs when they were young, and when I told them off when they were visiting, my wife used to moan at me.
I said 'Okay then, as long as they eat like that I won't be taking them to any restaurants, just in case people think I'm their father.' It took two years of nagging when they visited to get them up to the required standard. Apart from the errant elbows on table, there was also: 'Don't lick the knife.' 'Don't get something on the fork you can't get in your mouth, then start nibbling at it. Cut off a piece that fits in your gob.' 'When finished, your knife and fork should be together on the plate at the 6-30 position. If you leave them at 20 to 5, or a quarter to 3, your waiter will not come and ask to take your plate away unless it's totally empty.' |
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can anybody explain to me why youre supposed to use your fork the way round where everything falls off it? nobody would use a spoon that way round, itd take all week to eat soup.
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Kenny when did you last eat a meal with kids? If they dont have table manners it is the fault of the parents.
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I don`t worry about elbows with my kids.
As long as they don`t sh1t in the bath, then they can have some cake. |
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Yes bob.....good question.
If you hold the fork like a shovel, as per our American friends, it does look uncouth! Try spearing a chip or potato, carrot etc if you have it the way you advocate. However if you are having something like "Risotto", where you don't use a knife, it is then normal to eat with it like the shovel, as you say,and in your right hand, or left if you are left handed. Not sure where they were from but a school friend used to say "can I get down" when asking to leave the table. |
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Aye, it makes you wonder what these uncouth kids are going to find to moan about when they have their own children!
Probably something like: You can't have any drugs if you don't eat your puddin'!  How can ye have any pudding if ye don't eat yer meat??!! |
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rob. a long time. I was thinking more of stuff I've seen on TV.
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My 9 year old daughter asks if can she leave the table after meals. She stays sitting down and eats what's in front of her. I am proud of her table manners. My niece and nephew leave most of their dinner, go for a wander away from the table w1lly nilly and shoot back when the dinner plates are removed and pudding is served.
My mum is always complimenting my little girl on her manners |
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yep you can sure see who has standards and who has not
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The specific rules were mostly unimportant. The important thing was that were rules.
Now it seem there ain't |
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charwell.
15 May 14 21:42 My niece and nephew leave most of their dinner, go for a wander away from the table w1lly nilly and shoot back when the dinner plates are removed and pudding is served. Mine were the same until I told them what my dad told me and my younger sister. I have to work to pay for it. You mother has to take time to prepare it and cook it. Then I pay the electricity bill for the cooker. Food in this house doesn't go into the dustbin for no reason. You don't eat dinner, you don't get 'afters'. It's your choice. They thought I was joking, but I wasn't. And I still get annoyed now when people in restaurants order stuff and never finish it. In the 25+ years I've known my father-in-law, I have NEVER seen him clear his plate, whether it be breakfast, lunch or dinner. I dread to think what all that food cost that went into the dustbin in all those years. |
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And from Mr Smith, my form teacher at junior school (up to 1961):
When you leave school in 5 or 6 years time, you'll do better for yourself by addressing men as sir, women as ma'am, and polishing your shoes every day. |
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yeah but... if you eat or dont, the end result is the same. eating it all doesnt mean it gets used elsewhere. youre just eating it for the sake of it. theres no logic whatsoever. last week i cooked a meal then thought...ya know what, im not hungry. so binned it. if id eaten it, it still wouldnt be there anyway. id just have eaten it for the sake of eating it. its not like i was then going to eat something else, then it would be a waste. its not a waste if you dont eat something you cooked to eat, but then dont.
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ive never polished my shoes in my life. dont even wear shoes, i wear trainers. dont even own a pair of shoes. or trousers. or a tie. my headmaster said id never achieve anything cos i have an attitude problem and cant take orders. currently looking to buy a house for cash, possibly near where he lives. i do ok i think.
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Yeah
and he omly posts on General @ midnight |