Who is the thickest person you know?

lad I went with at school same year group didn't know when his birthday was. .

Was giving sons girlfriend a driving lesson
Was getting dull so told her time to put on sidelights
She asked "What about the front lights"
She was pretty thick.

Some would say my sisters second husband is thick. I've known him for about 15 years. He's retired now at almost 70, but had been a heavy plant mechanic all his life. I only found out last year while doing some card tricks with the grandkids that he can't read or write. Everybody else knew though.   

And another one.
A 'boxing fan' I met about 7 years ago.
He thought Cassius Cay and Muhammad Ali were two different boxers.

Clay !

Don't know this person, but one time visiting the US a guy asked me what language we spoke in England

they all do that in the states

I knew a bloke who couldn't read or write.

Made a living mainly by working as a labourer or as a burglar.

I suppose that's why they say 'thick as thieves'

I wouldn't say my mother-in-law was thick, but when she had a gas leak, she put a bucket under the pipe.


I thangyew.

I would say my mother in law and that is just the sort of thing she would do

Wouldn't say one who cannot read or right is thick - their could be moor twit..
I'm thinking of a 25 yr-old male who seems to have lived his whole life with eyes and ears shut. Seems to know nothing about anything really - dozes all day and plays with nitro cars or computer 'shoot-em-up' games.

My youngest brother, he truly is a complete and utter nightmare. So unlike the rest of us, he just causes complete and utter chaos wherever he goes. But he is blood, what can ye do?  I'm forever bailing him out but am fed up now of doing it.

Blood's thicker than water

lol

Even if you take Aspirin?

There's a poster on here who reckons its Chinese year of the cuckoo.

That's petty thick.

Yeah I know, anyone else would have got a red card years ago. He's my bro when all is said and done.

homefortea

26 Dec 13 20:34 Joined:  06 Sep 04 | Topic/replies: 6,804  | Blogger: homefortea's blog   


If you think Liverpool will finish above Man Utd then it is indeed the Chinese Year Of The Cuckoo...

Indeed. I was being serious as well as making a poor attempt at humour

Sat in the MGM Las Vegas  cheering on Banks Hill in French, " allez Olivier!", yank bloke ext to me says, " hey, you German?"

Anyone, further on into the breeders cup, I succumbered to talk to him, reluctantly.

' so where abouts in the Uuuuuuuuk  are you from, London? "

" no mate, Warrington"

" never heard of it, where's it near? "

" Liverpool"

" wow, do you know John Lennon?"

No, fcuk off

THEY ALL THOUGHT THAT BLOKE  WHO WENT ROUND TELLING EVERYONE THE EARTH WAS ROUND WAS THICK YEARS AGO ,

I KNOW JUST HOW HE FELT WHEN I TRY AND EDUCATE YOU LOT ABOUT ALCOHOL

IM NOT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT ALL THOSE MILLIONS WHO THINK THEIR GETTING 20 VIRGINS EACH WHEN THEY DIE

I WIONDER IF YOU DONT LIKE THEIR FACES YOU CAN SWOP THEM

I DONT MEAN FOR A GREYHOUND OR AN X BOX I MEAN JUST FOR ANOTHER VIRGIN

You can't just take a virgin back 'cos you don't like her face. Have you any idea how hard they are to find?
Apart from that, 'New (returned goods)' might be OK on eBay...but not in the virgins section!

Two guys broke into a house in dublin ireland,one found a mobile phone on the mantlepiece and took a photo of his mate with it,after robbing the place they left but forgot to take the mobile phone.

I've known some thick people in my time, but it didn't hold them back.

Getting on with people is more important than being smart.

Who I know is very personal. On the other hand look who just walked in....

Need I say more?

words? who needs words.

( o )( o )

Paddy broke into the local bookies.....he lost 50 euro.

Step forward Northy.

He started a thread on Chit Chat where he challenged Betfair to ban him - so they did.

That takes some beating on here.

landlady of local

her "he lives near popey's cafe"
me "you mean pope's cafe?"
her "no, popey's"
me "is his name popey?"
her "no, pope"

ffs

Dr Crippen     15 Apr 14 10:54 
Step forward Northy.
He started a thread on Chit Chat where he challenged Betfair to ban him - so they did.

I agree with the post above.

True things asked of me and a mate (by American tourists) - when we compared stupidity notes when I worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean some years ago....

"Is the pool fresh water or salt water?"
"It's salt water"
"Aaah, I thought so, it has waves".


"Will this elevator take me to the front of the ship?"

"Am I going the right way?"

And, one by me, to an American tourist when I first joined the ship and was a bit lost late one night when looking for the cigarette machine:
"You look a bit lost" she said
"Yes, I'm looking for the **** machine"
She looked at me, thought for a few seconds and said;
"You have MACHINES?!?"
I've never been able to work out quite what she thought it all involved.

**** machine, ffs.

FAAG

why the feck is faag banned?

Read this elsewhere.


Another absolutely true story .

One of my local pubs is doing one of these

"Strip for Charity Calenders" .

This is in aid of The East Lancashire Hospice .

Oh my , you want to see these photos !!

No , I'm not posting a link , because there isn't one .
Besides which , you would be drooling on your keyboard .

WOW - as a regular , I have seen the preview photos !!!

Seven barmaids - one is a genuine redhead .
We've always wondered about that .

Anyway , one thick tw*t asked "What's a Hospice?" .

Yes some people are that stupid .

Quick as a flash someone in the pub replied -

"About five gallons a day" .

Genius . What a reponse !!

Moron will never live this down .

Mind you he does work for B+Q .

Some leading questions here, but some of the answers are hilarious:

Look out for this: 'ok, which one is throwing the rocks?'
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0RH0cYs4lw

My brothers girlfriend.

Was asked by the insurance company to send in a picture of the crack on her ipad screen.

She proceeded to use the ipad screenshot function and wondered why the picture didn't show the crack

northernlad5

There's thick as it relates to common sense or education but there's also emotional thickness for want of a better term. The self-centred, not-having-a-clue-how-you-are-coming-across, thundering bores who drone on, generally about themselves, outstaying their welcome (which was miniscule anyway) and generally ensuring you have a less than wonderful time.

All of my wife's friends are a good example of this.

i do not know howdi but he/she seems pretty thick to me

Esther McVey MP after what she did yesterday is thick,insensitive and has 12 months left with her snout on the Westminister gravy train before she`s booted out.

One of the wifes cousins gets into the reckoning, despite having a string of G.C.E.s and also being university educated. I have no doubt that only somebody thick would walk into the main road between cars on a busy seafront, with a walkman plugged in each ear, and get hit by a car who had no chance of stopping. Mind you, she hasn't done it since, so she must have learned a lesson.

SlippyBlue 14 Apr 14 21:13 Joined: 11 Jun 12 | Topic/replies: 14,369 | Blogger: SlippyBlue's blog
My youngest brother, he truly is a complete and utter nightmare. So unlike the rest of us, he just causes complete and utter chaos wherever he goes. Cry But he is blood, what can ye do?  I'm forever bailing him out but am fed up now of doing it.

_____________
i have one of them

Oscar Pistorius, version of the story...

My husband - unbelievably thick - always has been....................beyond sympathy.

my mates wife thought that Jesus died sometime in the 1930's

Was asked by the insurance company to send in a picture of the crack on her ipad screen.

wondered where that story was going for a minute there,treble

cribbage king  • April 16, 2014 3:25 PM BST 


i do not know howdi but he/she seems pretty thick to me

what gives you that impression.

cribbage king (nap)

I go on Facebook, and some of the screen shots of texts are facking hilarious

Some bird posted a few weeks ago (no idea from which country) which went roughly like this:

'I just found out that China is 12 hours in front of America. Why didn't the bastards phone and warn them about 9/11. Like, 3 billion people died.'

I miss thick people, it seems the older you get the less you see of them.

Oct 11, 2014 -- 7:41PM, call me a taxi wrote:

I go on Facebook, and some of the screen shots of texts are facking hilarious Some bird posted a few weeks ago (no idea from which country) which went roughly like this:'I just found out that China is 12 hours in front of America. Why didn't the bastards phone and warn them about 9/11. Like, 3 billion people died.'