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They should check the hard shoulder tee hee, fnirk fnirk etc.
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11073827.Man_found_staggering_on_A66_after_having_penis_cut_off/
Also, something about Dongs of Praise.
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11073827.Man_found_staggering_on_A66_after_having_penis_cut_off/
Also, something about Dongs of Praise.
Could say it would be a hard job to find, but in this case the harder it is the easier it will be to find 
why all of a sudden are planes and todgers going missing?
I heard it ended up in a nearby field where it was eaten by a farm animal. But that might be a c0ck and bull story.
Is it just me that thinks that whenever weird stuff happens in the U.K. it always seems to occur in either Wales or the North East?
FFS 
Ivor, the last time I went to Wales to watch the rugby some old trollop spat beer in my face when I told her I wasn't interested. She looked like a cross between Janet Street Porter and Charlie Dimmock. I have my standards.
Ivor, the last time I went to Wales to watch the rugby some old trollop spat beer in my face when I told her I wasn't interested. She looked like a cross between Janet Street Porter and Charlie Dimmock. I have my standards.
That was my daughter Slippy - when in a hole stop digging imo 
This story gets weirder.
The father-of-six who brought a dual carriageway to a standstill after his penis was chopped off died one year later covered in blue paint in a 'sex game gone wrong,' an inquest has heard.
Kelvin 'Kelly' Hewitt was covered in a blue hue with a ligature around his neck and genitals when he was found dead in his caravan at a travellers' site in South Bank, Middlesbrough, last month.
It came one year after the 41-year-old, described as having 'demons and a dark side', was found covered in blood and searching for his severed penis at the side of the A66.
Recording his death as misadventure, Teesside coroner Clare Bailey ruled that his death 'may have been an act of some sort of erotic nature'.
The inquest heard how Mr Hewitt had been found by best friend Stu Johnson, who forced himself into his caravan after being unable to rouse his friend.
He then found Mr Hewitt covered in blue paint on his bed.
Tests found he had been drinking and that there an unidentified drug was in his system. The inquest heard these may have contributed to, but not caused, his death.
After last year's incident on the A66, which was widely reported around the world, it was believed Mr Hewitt had been victim of an attack in which his penis had been cut.
But, during the inquest into his death, it emerged that his family suspected Mr Hewitt might have caused the severe injuries to his groin himself.
Relatives told the hearing how Mr Hewitt - who could have been left unable to walk from those injuries - was doted on by his children but struggled with his 'Jekyll and Hyde character'.
The inquest heard how, if he was down and alone, he would sometimes shave off his hair and eyebrows, something he had done shortly before he was found dead.
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His stepfather Mr Hawkan told the court that he found it hard to discuss his problems and having a 'heart-to-heart was pointless.
He also told how he had refused to have counselling following the incident last year. Although he was put into an induced coma at James Cook University Hospital, Middlesborough, he could have been left unable to walk, the court heard.
Mr Hawkan also suspected that his death might have been caused by a sex game gone wrong.
'It is possible there has been some kind of sexual gratification thing gone wrong, like the celebrities,' he said.
His elder daughter Leanne Trewitt said in a statement that she worried about her father after he suffered the severe injuries at the site last year.
Police closed the A66 westbound from Teesport to South Bank, Middlesbrough, in March last year after Mr Hewitt was found with his penis cut off
+2
Police closed the A66 westbound from Teesport to South Bank, Middlesbrough, in March last year after Mr Hewitt was found with his penis cut off
'Since the incident 12 months ago at The Haven, I feared he may do something to himself,' she said.
Detective Sergeant Paul Husband, who investigated the death, said the injuries to his penis were caused with a blunt instrument.
It was originally reported that Mr Hewitt was the victim of a revenge attack but close friends and family of Mr Hewitt later said they thought the assailant had attacked the wrong man.
A 22-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of assault but was later released without charge and police later closed their investigation.
'It was believed Mr Hewitt was responsible for causing his own injuries,' the detective said.
Miss Bailey said: 'I do not believe that he intended to take his own life. Therefore my conclusion is that Kelly has passed as a result of misadventure.
'That essentially means he has taken a course of action knowingly and deliberately, but did not intend the fatal consequences.'
Mr Hewitt's partner Michelle Jackson and his niece Stacey Hewitt were at the hearing but did not give evidence.
The inquest was also told about an incident in 2001, in which Mr Hewitt drove off and crashed his car following a row with his girlfriend in an incident which was believed to have been deliberate.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3120138/Man-survived-having-penis-ch...
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3120138/Man-survived-having-penis-chopped-died-covered-blue-paint-sex-game-gone-wrong.html
The father-of-six who brought a dual carriageway to a standstill after his penis was chopped off died one year later covered in blue paint in a 'sex game gone wrong,' an inquest has heard.
Kelvin 'Kelly' Hewitt was covered in a blue hue with a ligature around his neck and genitals when he was found dead in his caravan at a travellers' site in South Bank, Middlesbrough, last month.
It came one year after the 41-year-old, described as having 'demons and a dark side', was found covered in blood and searching for his severed penis at the side of the A66.
Recording his death as misadventure, Teesside coroner Clare Bailey ruled that his death 'may have been an act of some sort of erotic nature'.
The inquest heard how Mr Hewitt had been found by best friend Stu Johnson, who forced himself into his caravan after being unable to rouse his friend.
He then found Mr Hewitt covered in blue paint on his bed.
Tests found he had been drinking and that there an unidentified drug was in his system. The inquest heard these may have contributed to, but not caused, his death.
After last year's incident on the A66, which was widely reported around the world, it was believed Mr Hewitt had been victim of an attack in which his penis had been cut.
But, during the inquest into his death, it emerged that his family suspected Mr Hewitt might have caused the severe injuries to his groin himself.
Relatives told the hearing how Mr Hewitt - who could have been left unable to walk from those injuries - was doted on by his children but struggled with his 'Jekyll and Hyde character'.
The inquest heard how, if he was down and alone, he would sometimes shave off his hair and eyebrows, something he had done shortly before he was found dead.
RELATED ARTICLES
Previous
1
Next
Harley Street dentist reveals wife and mother of his three...
Families warned over carbon monoxide poisoning as holiday...
SHARE THIS ARTICLE
Share
His stepfather Mr Hawkan told the court that he found it hard to discuss his problems and having a 'heart-to-heart was pointless.
He also told how he had refused to have counselling following the incident last year. Although he was put into an induced coma at James Cook University Hospital, Middlesborough, he could have been left unable to walk, the court heard.
Mr Hawkan also suspected that his death might have been caused by a sex game gone wrong.
'It is possible there has been some kind of sexual gratification thing gone wrong, like the celebrities,' he said.
His elder daughter Leanne Trewitt said in a statement that she worried about her father after he suffered the severe injuries at the site last year.
Police closed the A66 westbound from Teesport to South Bank, Middlesbrough, in March last year after Mr Hewitt was found with his penis cut off
+2
Police closed the A66 westbound from Teesport to South Bank, Middlesbrough, in March last year after Mr Hewitt was found with his penis cut off
'Since the incident 12 months ago at The Haven, I feared he may do something to himself,' she said.
Detective Sergeant Paul Husband, who investigated the death, said the injuries to his penis were caused with a blunt instrument.
It was originally reported that Mr Hewitt was the victim of a revenge attack but close friends and family of Mr Hewitt later said they thought the assailant had attacked the wrong man.
A 22-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of assault but was later released without charge and police later closed their investigation.
'It was believed Mr Hewitt was responsible for causing his own injuries,' the detective said.
Miss Bailey said: 'I do not believe that he intended to take his own life. Therefore my conclusion is that Kelly has passed as a result of misadventure.
'That essentially means he has taken a course of action knowingly and deliberately, but did not intend the fatal consequences.'
Mr Hewitt's partner Michelle Jackson and his niece Stacey Hewitt were at the hearing but did not give evidence.
The inquest was also told about an incident in 2001, in which Mr Hewitt drove off and crashed his car following a row with his girlfriend in an incident which was believed to have been deliberate.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3120138/Man-survived-having-penis-ch...
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3120138/Man-survived-having-penis-chopped-died-covered-blue-paint-sex-game-gone-wrong.html
...who failed to arouse him, but forced an entry anyway.
Just closed down a section of the A66 'eh?
If it's been a cl1t0r1s, they'd have made it the entire road and rail network of the UK (including Clackett Lane services) - and still not found the beastly thing!
If it's been a cl1t0r1s, they'd have made it the entire road and rail network of the UK (including Clackett Lane services) - and still not found the beastly thing!
You've got to respect his determination, though. I think most fellas would give up when trying to chop off their genitals with a blunt instrument. That's tenacity!
There was a geezer in the Brighton nudist beach aiming a bacon slicer at the punters.......................I think the police were the 1st to get the tip off
I got my knob stuck in a bacon slicer years ago, when there were customers in the front of the shop.
The butcher sacked her.
The butcher sacked her.
Nudist Middlesbrough Man's Penis Severed By The Chinese Hypnotist From the Co-Op Bacon Factory
SlippyBlue
13 Mar 14 19:24
Joined: 11 Jun 12
| Topic/replies: 19,578 | Blogger: SlippyBlue's blog
FFS Cry
Ivor, the last time I went to Wales to watch the rugby some old trollop spat beer in my face when I told her I wasn't interested. She looked like a cross between Janet Street Porter and Charlie Dimmock. I have my standards.
Was Carol on holiday
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