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Velasquez
17 Oct 13 12:47
Joined:
Date Joined: 30 Aug 02
| Topic/replies: 9,623 | Blogger: Velasquez's blog
You are the England manager and it is half time ; your team faces the most decisive and critical 45 minutes of the World Cup campaign. Do you......

a) Tell the team to get the ball to your best player at every opportunity.

b) Tell a joke about space monkeys and retro boosters.

Press the blue or yellow button now!
Pause Switch to Standard View ROY HODGSON JOKE...
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Report xmoneyx October 17, 2013 12:48 PM BST
it worked,thats all that matters
Report Velasquez October 17, 2013 12:53 PM BST
Laugh

Yeah - well, good luck with that space monkey sh1t against Brazil, Holland, Italy, Belgium, Spain, Argentina, Germany, etc.
Report xmoneyx October 17, 2013 1:07 PM BST
no that's Apollo 13 Excited
Report cdog October 17, 2013 1:10 PM BST
He won't make the same teamtalk against those countries. He did what worked against Poland. We won, and we move on. I really don't see what all the fuss is about!!
Report digdeep October 17, 2013 1:48 PM BST
Get rid of the stirrer or stirrers who leaked the story,he or they will not be good for team spirit,and Roy get some better jokes.
Report cdog October 17, 2013 1:51 PM BST
Roy should simply go on the "got any jokes" thread for material. Plenty on there to choose from Laugh
Report xmoneyx October 17, 2013 1:56 PM BST
englnd qualify world cup---an daily mail trash them the next dayExcited
Report Seasider. October 17, 2013 2:12 PM BST
Yeah - well, good luck with that space monkey sh1t against Brazil, Holland, Italy, Belgium, Spain, Argentina, Germany, etc.

The last time England played the teams you mention above they only lost to Germany and Holland (2nd and 3rd at the last WC) so nothing to fear there anyway ;)

ps.  Well done Scotland on that 4th place in a group of 6th.
Report xmoneyx October 17, 2013 2:18 PM BST
were not called avoid wooden spoon highlanders for nothing--thx Love
Report Emden October 17, 2013 5:02 PM BST
Roy H will be doing arena gigs soon (and the pay's better).
Report sideshowbob October 17, 2013 5:31 PM BST
i dont get it. hes saying the monkey is in charge? or the monkey is more intelligent? either way its not funny. whats funny about that?
Report akabula October 17, 2013 5:32 PM BST
You had to be there.
Report 11kv October 17, 2013 5:33 PM BST
Its a fecking hilarious joke you obviously don't get it
Report sideshowbob October 17, 2013 5:41 PM BST
whats black, white and red all over?

prince harry in a newcastle shirt
Report themightymac October 17, 2013 5:45 PM BST
Best joke I`ve heard in years LaughLaugh

Roy`s that is, not Bobs Sad
Report Crisp77 October 17, 2013 5:46 PM BST
Is it racist because Nasser is an Indian name Confused
Report 11kv October 17, 2013 5:50 PM BST
You don't pay some nobody a million pound bonus if he tells sh it jokes imo........
Report xmoneyx October 17, 2013 5:54 PM BST
who's the singer that blacked up?
Report Crisp77 October 17, 2013 5:56 PM BST
The Flying Picketts?
Report xmoneyx October 17, 2013 6:02 PM BST
don't  think it's them
Report brendanuk1 October 17, 2013 6:13 PM BST
Morrissey?
Report akabula October 17, 2013 6:14 PM BST
Michael Jackson?
Report Velasquez October 17, 2013 6:30 PM BST
"The last time England played the teams you mention above they only lost to Germany and Holland (2nd and 3rd at the last WC) so nothing to fear there anyway ;)"

Try "In a COMPETITIVE MATCH...!"
--------------------

Seasider - didn't you notice my Username is Spanish...? Mischief
Report Velasquez October 17, 2013 6:31 PM BST
According to FIFA rules, I've been entitled to support Spain since 2007...
Report themightymac October 17, 2013 6:51 PM BST
Exacto Senor Jimmy Whoops
Report alun2005 October 17, 2013 8:24 PM BST
What was the actual joke that caused the Pretendy Offence please?
Report screaming from beneaththewaves October 17, 2013 8:36 PM BST
The joke is one that became popular in US space agency NASA in the 1960s and 1970s after it sent monkeys into space before humans.

One version of the joke is that the first time NASA sends a man up into space a monkey goes with him and does all the skilled technical jobs inside the rocket. Finally the astronaut gets frustrated and radios NASA to ask what he should do.

NASA replies: "Don't touch anything - just feed the monkey."

It is believed Hodgson was trying to illustrate the need for England's defenders to play the ball early to ex-Yeovil Town legend Andros Townsend while he was in space on the flanks.


http://www.sportinglife.com/football/news/article/2/8976793/fa-gives-hodgson-full-backing
Report brngtwt October 17, 2013 8:45 PM BST
Am I the only man in Europe who thought it was funny?
The manager of England telling his team an esoteric joke going into an important 45 minutes?
What was that film with Bobby Grant out of Brookside?
Roy has gone up a notch in my estimations,he is now at notch 1.
Report Dr Crippen October 17, 2013 8:53 PM BST
I assume Hodgsy said ''just feed the monkey.''

No wonder they're giving him a hard time.

Double standards here from the FA for letting him get away with it.
Report brngtwt October 17, 2013 8:56 PM BST
I prefer the notion that in the original joke the astronaut was black.
Report cloughandtaylor October 17, 2013 9:03 PM BST
A stark reminder that the game was long ago hijacked by the thought peelers.Sad
Report alun2005 October 17, 2013 9:21 PM BST
Truly extraordinary scenes indeed that this monkey nonsense should be the source of news and imagined offence.

How very different from this grotesque example below of hateful language being used against a black footballer, by someone who believe it or not worked in the Anti-Racism industry.

The victim was called a n***er, which is reputedly the very worst insult in the entire lexicon of racist hate, yet the perpetrator hasn't faced a police investigation, let alone be dragged to court like the admittedly appalling Terry.

Why not?

Take your pick.

.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2283318/Paul-Elliott-resigns-FA-racism-row-Richard-Rufus.html

.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4800119/Football-anti-racism-champion-Paul-Elliott-uses-n-word.html

.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/england/9889718/Paul-Elliott-resigns-from-Football-Association-after-sending-racist-text-message.html

Plus a few reports from hypocrite liberal media sources that didn't quite have the honesty to report the full vile details

.
http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news-and-comment/paul-elliott-quits-fa-post-after-richard-rufus-race-row-8508206.html

.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21559781

.
http://www.theguardian.com/football/2013/feb/23/paul-elliott-quits-kick-it-out-fa
Report Crisp77 October 17, 2013 9:42 PM BST
^^^^ Chris Rock impression gone wrong IMO
Report ebulGery October 17, 2013 9:48 PM BST
Roy is paid for to win football matches, not for the quality of his jokes

that is all that matters

Well done RoyHappy

The joke is not offensive

and  anyway Roy can tell as many jokes as he likes, offensive or inoffensive, as far as I am concerned

if England bring back the WC from Brazil

which is all us England football supporters want
Report ebulGery October 17, 2013 9:55 PM BST
Using what is considered a racist term in the heat of the moment, does not make someone a racist

It is being a member of the Klu Klux clan or similar, makes you a racist

We have become a sad pathetic society, which seems happy to condemn someone's whole life on one word

no wonder our society is in such a mess
Report G1_Jockey_4 October 17, 2013 10:10 PM BST
in the world cup he will launch into a tirade about how his methods worked with neachatel xamax so why wouldnt they work with engl.............
Report G1_Jockey_4 October 17, 2013 10:11 PM BST
Using what is considered a racist term in the heat of the moment, does not make someone a racist

ok but suarez was banned even though they said he wasnt a racist.
so why isnt this fkn dinosaur out like hoddle was for airing his views on reincarnation?
Report brendanuk1 October 17, 2013 10:22 PM BST
going to be awkward moments now all over country when black and white people discuss monkey related things  Cry
Report sideshowbob October 17, 2013 10:25 PM BST
not a patch on the kfc advert about the chicken being so hot it makes you do monkey noises
Report alun2005 October 17, 2013 10:27 PM BST
The pop group The Monkees will presumably find their records now impossible to buy, or even be heard on the airwaves, until perhaps they change the name of the band to The Chimpanzees or maybe The Anthropoids ?
Report ebulGery October 17, 2013 10:27 PM BST
Saurez is not a dinosaur, a passionate man, who perhaps loses control of his temper on occasions

great player, though is he notConfused

I agree brendanuk1

If a parent takes their children to the zoo, and says let us now go and see the monkeys

they could be arrested for racismCrazyCrazy
Report Crisp77 October 17, 2013 10:41 PM BST
It's shocking...I daren't even spank the monkey tonight.
Report ebulGery October 17, 2013 11:10 PM BST
Laugh
Report Poby October 18, 2013 8:09 AM BST
Viz Letter:-

Dear Sir

Why is it that rap artist Snoop Dogg earns millions of dollars and is showered with awards for songs littered with the "n" word, yet I use the word ONCE at my son's under 12 Sunday football match and I am immediately ordered to leave the park.

Yet again this smacks of one law for them and one law for us, and is discrimination of the worst kind.


Yours

Mr B Lackshirt
Bethnal Green, East London.
Report pantsonfire October 18, 2013 8:16 AM BST
I have an unopened packet of PG tips. My morals won't now let me enjoy them. Free to anyone who wants to collect them.
Report brendanuk1 October 18, 2013 8:02 PM BST
your ok, they are chimps not monkeys, different kettle of fish entirely
Report mad mad moon October 18, 2013 8:14 PM BST
Seems Townshend took it as a compliment and is "baffled" by the controversy.
Garth Crooks must be fuming!
Report kenny mann October 18, 2013 8:52 PM BST
whoever reported him should never play for England again.
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