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04 Oct 13
12:21
Joined:
Date Joined:
01 Apr 04
That's it.
Firefighters in London freed a man whose penis was trapped in a toaster.
They rescued another who got his member stuck in a vacuum cleaner, as well as 79 people trapped in handcuffs.
London Fire Brigade says it has attended more than 1,300 incidents involving people being trapped or stuck, often in everyday household items, since 2010.
Each incident costs at least £290 to deal with, meaning the incidents have set the taxpayer back at least £377,000.
Third Officer, Dave Brown, said: “Some of the incidents our firefighters are called out could be prevented with a little common sense.
“I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up.
“I’m sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them.
“I’d like to remind everyone 999 is an emergency number and should only be used as such.
“When firefighters are out attending to some of these avoidable incidents, someone else could be in real need of emergency assistance.”
In the last three years the capital’s fire crews have been called out to:
• 18 incidents involving children with their heads stuck in potties or toilet seats
• Five incidents involving people’s hands being stuck in shredders
• 79 incidents involving people being trapped in handcuffs
• Nine instances of men with rings stuck on their penises
• Four incidents where people had their hands stuck in blenders
• 17 incidents involving children with their fingers stuck in toys, including one with Lego stuck on his finger.
In the past, the LFB has been called out to:
• A man with his penis stuck in a toaster
• A man with his arm stuck in a Portaloo
• A child with its hand trapped in a sweet machine
• A child with its head trapped in an ironing board
• An adult stuck in a child’s toy car
• A child with its head stuck in a massage chair
• A child with its foot stuck in a brass vase
• Someone with a test tube stuck on their finger
• A child with a tambourine stuck on its head
• A man with a sewing machine needle stuck in his finger.
In 2010/11 crews attended 416 incidents, rising to 441 in 2011/12 and 453 in 2012/13. A total of 307 people were injured as a result.
Crews are called to more than one incident every day involving someone trapped or stuck with the most common being people with rings stuck on their fingers, accounting for almost 500 call outs over the last three years.
On the subject of rings a brigade spokesperson added: “Our advice is simple: if the ring doesn’t fit, don’t force it on.
“As well as being painful, you could end up wasting emergency service time if you have to call us out.”
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/london-fire-crew-rescued-man-who-got-his-penis-stuck-in-a-toaster-8858912.html
Firefighters in London freed a man whose penis was trapped in a toaster.
They rescued another who got his member stuck in a vacuum cleaner, as well as 79 people trapped in handcuffs.
London Fire Brigade says it has attended more than 1,300 incidents involving people being trapped or stuck, often in everyday household items, since 2010.
Each incident costs at least £290 to deal with, meaning the incidents have set the taxpayer back at least £377,000.
Third Officer, Dave Brown, said: “Some of the incidents our firefighters are called out could be prevented with a little common sense.
“I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up.
“I’m sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them.
“I’d like to remind everyone 999 is an emergency number and should only be used as such.
“When firefighters are out attending to some of these avoidable incidents, someone else could be in real need of emergency assistance.”
In the last three years the capital’s fire crews have been called out to:
• 18 incidents involving children with their heads stuck in potties or toilet seats
• Five incidents involving people’s hands being stuck in shredders
• 79 incidents involving people being trapped in handcuffs
• Nine instances of men with rings stuck on their penises
• Four incidents where people had their hands stuck in blenders
• 17 incidents involving children with their fingers stuck in toys, including one with Lego stuck on his finger.
In the past, the LFB has been called out to:
• A man with his penis stuck in a toaster
• A man with his arm stuck in a Portaloo
• A child with its hand trapped in a sweet machine
• A child with its head trapped in an ironing board
• An adult stuck in a child’s toy car
• A child with its head stuck in a massage chair
• A child with its foot stuck in a brass vase
• Someone with a test tube stuck on their finger
• A child with a tambourine stuck on its head
• A man with a sewing machine needle stuck in his finger.
In 2010/11 crews attended 416 incidents, rising to 441 in 2011/12 and 453 in 2012/13. A total of 307 people were injured as a result.
Crews are called to more than one incident every day involving someone trapped or stuck with the most common being people with rings stuck on their fingers, accounting for almost 500 call outs over the last three years.
On the subject of rings a brigade spokesperson added: “Our advice is simple: if the ring doesn’t fit, don’t force it on.
“As well as being painful, you could end up wasting emergency service time if you have to call us out.”
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/london-fire-crew-rescued-man-who-got-his-penis-stuck-in-a-toaster-8858912.html
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I'm just going to lunch but shirley these should all be completed by the forum?:
What do you call ...
• A man with his penis stuck in a toaster?
• A man with his arm stuck in a Portaloo?
• A child with its hand trapped in a sweet machine?
• A child with its head trapped in an ironing board?
• An adult stuck in a child’s toy car?
• A child with its head stuck in a massage chair?
• A child with its foot stuck in a brass vase?
• Someone with a test tube stuck on their finger?
• A child with a tambourine stuck on its head?
• A man with a sewing machine needle stuck in his finger?
What do you call ...
• A man with his penis stuck in a toaster?
• A man with his arm stuck in a Portaloo?
• A child with its hand trapped in a sweet machine?
• A child with its head trapped in an ironing board?
• An adult stuck in a child’s toy car?
• A child with its head stuck in a massage chair?
• A child with its foot stuck in a brass vase?
• Someone with a test tube stuck on their finger?
• A child with a tambourine stuck on its head?
• A man with a sewing machine needle stuck in his finger?
• An adult stuck in a child’s toy car? Matt El
• A man with his penis stuck in a toaster?
Browned off
• A man with his arm stuck in a Portaloo?
• A child with its hand trapped in a sweet machine?
Indispensible
• A child with its head trapped in an ironing board?
Russell Hobbs
• An adult stuck in a child’s toy car?
Londis Lagerhound
• A child with its head stuck in a massage chair?
• A child with its foot stuck in a brass vase?
Rose
• Someone with a test tube stuck on their finger?
• A child with a tambourine stuck on its head?
• A man with a sewing machine needle stuck in his finger?
A bad Singer
ffs
Browned off
• A man with his arm stuck in a Portaloo?
• A child with its hand trapped in a sweet machine?
Indispensible
• A child with its head trapped in an ironing board?
Russell Hobbs
• An adult stuck in a child’s toy car?
Londis Lagerhound
• A child with its head stuck in a massage chair?
• A child with its foot stuck in a brass vase?
Rose
• Someone with a test tube stuck on their finger?
• A child with a tambourine stuck on its head?
• A man with a sewing machine needle stuck in his finger?
A bad Singer
ffs
there cannot be anything more embarrassing in life than calling the fire brigade because you have your todger stuck in the toaster!! 
I once got fired for getting my knob stuck in the dishwasher, but she didn't get the sack.
I suppose it's rather superfluous to ask what it was doing in the toaster in the first place?
s.kenbo
04 Oct 13 14:34
I bet he was in his element.
brilliant
04 Oct 13 14:34
I bet he was in his element.
brilliant
if theyre worried about the money then charge people? 290 quid to get your knob took out of a toaster is a bargain imo.
Russell Nobbs.
I can't even be bothered to construct a joke.
I can't even be bothered to construct a joke.
Also, Hotpoint - as in the end of his penis. lolololol etc.
if it had been you Clunge it could've been Breville Sparkie
rofl
rofl
I bet he was indes(h)it when his wife found out.
rofllmaopmslkhitc
rofllmaopmslkhitc
might have poked it in looking for (pop) tart.
roflmco
ffs
roflmco
ffs
I suppose the French version of chitchat has a Croque Monsieur pun to fall back on. 
Firefighters in London freed a man whose penis was trapped in a toaster.
London Fire Brigade says it has attended more than 1,300 incidents involving people being trapped or stuck, often in everyday household items, since 2010.
why is it that the fire brigade is doing this? The last thing you'd want if you'd quite innocently jammed your winkie in the toaster is a fecking great red fire engine turning up outside your house with sirens blaring out.
I would've thought paramedics would be the ones to sort it, and you could even have a specialist division of St Johns Ambulance. Would certainly free up a lot of firemen although they'd probably be missing out on a lot of laughs.
London Fire Brigade says it has attended more than 1,300 incidents involving people being trapped or stuck, often in everyday household items, since 2010.
why is it that the fire brigade is doing this? The last thing you'd want if you'd quite innocently jammed your winkie in the toaster is a fecking great red fire engine turning up outside your house with sirens blaring out.
I would've thought paramedics would be the ones to sort it, and you could even have a specialist division of St Johns Ambulance. Would certainly free up a lot of firemen although they'd probably be missing out on a lot of laughs.
The St John Thomas Ambulance service
How embarrassing, ye would be well cheesed off.
my wife was a trainee nurse in A &E and a youngish guy came in requiring assistance for his girlfriend stuck on the gear stick of his sports car
If you were a surgeon at a major hospital i'm sure you must regularly get called in to surgically remove everyday objects from the bottoms of people
We mustn't assume all these various accidents are happening to different people. Could be the same chap each time.
Remember the last scene of the episode of The Big Bang Theory where Howard's penis accidentally slips into the hand of a robotic arm intended for the International Space Station. The trip to A & E might have had a successful outcome, but a short while later we see Leonard taking a phone call:
"Howard, uh, slow down. What do you mean it happened again?"
Remember the last scene of the episode of The Big Bang Theory where Howard's penis accidentally slips into the hand of a robotic arm intended for the International Space Station. The trip to A & E might have had a successful outcome, but a short while later we see Leonard taking a phone call:
"Howard, uh, slow down. What do you mean it happened again?"
I'm sorry, but "An adult stuck in a child’s toy car" made me laugh quite a lot. As did this story a year ago:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-rescued-after-getting-head-1353978
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-rescued-after-getting-head-1353978
It's a good job he was quite ugly and didn't bother with any foreplay.
The toaster wasn't turned on.
The toaster wasn't turned on.
My coc was not stuck in a toaster I will have you know!!! It was my hand. My coc was stuck in the milk bottle ok!!!!
The things you need to do to keep an account open with Stan James!
I can barely get a crust in my toaster, nevermind my c0ck!
Yes!!!! I want an apology for this slur on my character!!!!
mobo 04 Oct 13 18:26
My coc was not stuck in a toaster I will have you know!!! It was my hand. My coc was stuck in the milk bottle ok!!!!
You keep churning out that old chestnut
My coc was not stuck in a toaster I will have you know!!! It was my hand. My coc was stuck in the milk bottle ok!!!!
You keep churning out that old chestnut
A child with a test tube stuck on their finger would be a paedophial.
FIREFIGHTERS were called to reports of a person stuck in a swing in a park.
One engine was sent to Sandford Park, Crediton, after the alarm was raised at 7pm yesterday, Saturday, May 16.
Crews used hydraulic rescue equipment to release the person uninjured.
http://www.middevonstar.co.uk/news/12955108.Person_trapped_in_swing_in_Crediton_park/?ref=mr&lp=2
How is this even possible please?
One engine was sent to Sandford Park, Crediton, after the alarm was raised at 7pm yesterday, Saturday, May 16.
Crews used hydraulic rescue equipment to release the person uninjured.
http://www.middevonstar.co.uk/news/12955108.Person_trapped_in_swing_in_Crediton_park/?ref=mr&lp=2
How is this even possible please?
Silly question but -- why would anyone put their todger in a toaster? There's the bread-holding bit that goes up and down, and the elements that get hot, and that's about it. How is it supposed to pleasure you? (I'm asking for a friend, you understand.)
Firefighters in London freed a man whose penis was trapped in a toaster.
They rescued another who got his member stuck in a vacuum cleaner, as well as 79 people trapped in handcuffs
easily explained, a female aquantance of mine who has predilection for being rescued by firemen, having worked out that a dressed up stripper costs more than a cheap pair of handcuffs and a free state funded fire service (she's an accountant) managed to pull this off 79 times (all puns intended) before they stopped taking the calls seriously. the toaster and vacuum sories worked only once, eventually they took the unprecidended step of blocking her phone number. funny thing was, the next week her house caught fire.
They rescued another who got his member stuck in a vacuum cleaner, as well as 79 people trapped in handcuffs
easily explained, a female aquantance of mine who has predilection for being rescued by firemen, having worked out that a dressed up stripper costs more than a cheap pair of handcuffs and a free state funded fire service (she's an accountant) managed to pull this off 79 times (all puns intended) before they stopped taking the calls seriously. the toaster and vacuum sories worked only once, eventually they took the unprecidended step of blocking her phone number. funny thing was, the next week her house caught fire.
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