Safe business ideas?

- an ISA
- a pension
- FTSE 100 tracker
- old rope

Royal Mail

bit out of my price range tbh.

plastic headstones

Suicide bomber - Fast tracked to the top, complementary company ruc sack, short working hours and a bunch of virgins waiting for you if you succeed

Who sends out the privatisation brochure/ prospectus to potential investors?

If you get handed one by a rep' on public transport, you might want to read it quite quickly

who or what are these virgins you speak of?

if theyre goats, sheep, trainspotters, trekkies or children...im out.

if they all look like rachel riley, sign me up!

wow. just noseying around on the interwebs...for starbucks franchise you need at least 500k! jebus. if i had 500k, i wouldnt use it on a poxy starbucks franchise!

Male escort. Easy money.

what, with these feet?

You know what they say - big feet means ...... big shoes

I have always thought a taco stand would be a good idea.Mexican food is fantastic and you just can't get it in the UK.

Set yourself up as a mobile car valeter.

Fairly low set up costs and not a lot of competition.

Ads in local shop windows, leafleting and canvas around industrial estates and car dealerships.

Guy used to come to our office/warehouse every couple of weeks and did a fantastic job on maybe half a dozen cars at £15.00 each.
He never did mine as I am ultra fussy, and enjoy doing it myself, plus I am a tight fisted old git!

Once you have established a good reputation you are well away.

food can be a winner.

in any area with a bit of cash tho loads of these independent places are springing up and competition is fierce

Buying gold much be easiest job. Check price you can sell gold at in the morning, buy at less than that price during the day.

Royal mail is good shout, its political decision to sell, almost guaranteed that politicians want you to make money on its privatisation

Rob banks.

FFS, it took that long for someone to come up with some sort of 'there's always money in safes' innuendo, and I'm not even sure that that was intended.

What's wrong with you people.

Royal mail is good shout, its political decision to sell, almost guaranteed that politicians want you to make money on its privatisation

er so what about the nailed on strike thats gonna happen just after the float??

not sure i fancy royal mail shares. or any shares. bit too big a gamble. they nearly always drop in value in the short term.

Rob banks.

Even better would be to find someone who has just robbed a bank and rob them. It's not as if they are going to report it to the police..

funeral parlour

Sadly you have to think outside the box fir that Burton Brewers...

actually thats not a bad idea. people will always die. and they will always want a coffin. bit creepy though.

i may start my own clothing brand. how much can it cost to buy a load of denim, a sewing machine and make my own jeans? the ones in the shops are usually crap anyway, you can tell theyre made me 8 year olds in bangladesh. i reckon i could come up with better designs in an hour. never used a sewing machine though... and fook knows how you get any bugger to buy em...

There's always money in the banana stand

If you have a decent brand clothing is a license to print money.

Just look at Billionaires Boys Club / Ice Cream. Basic T shirts with a **** logo printed on. £70-80

i know lol. theyre exactly the same as the 7 quid ones, just set at a high price. and people buy em just to look rich. id defo go for the high end mugs if i went into that game

bob - I asked my window cleaner if he fancied selling his round. He replied no way. He makes a really good living.

Fancy Dress. Seriously, students go nuts for it. Find your nearest university, take the Ents and Marketing manager out for a few drinks. Get a heads up on what they're planning, buy up stalls for the day of the event. Cost you maybe forty quid for the stall, free promotion from the organisers (it's in their interest), and sell bulk bought stock for 400% profit.

Clunge - would have to be quite cheap presumably? Don't people normally rent this sort of thing?

Rental costs are typically 20 quid for a full costume. A savvy Ents manager plans nights where people can do it on the cheap. E.g. cowboys and indians...you can get a hat, gun, bow and arrow etc for a quid each or so, but...and this is especially true for campus universities, it's a major bother for students to go into town to get them, so they'd pay a premium to not have to travel. Why spend two quid and an hour on public transport when you can buy the same stuff for a bit more without travelling.

Pirates is another...Skool Disko...Doctors and Nurses...you wouldn't make a fortune from each sale...but with 1500 or so people going, the money would serriously stack up.