Any of you chaps play rugby?

I used to.  Is this a serious thread?  Surely there are other questions....

Semi-serious. For the last few years I've put together a team for a sevens team for a charity tournament run by the uni. The first year was spectacular, we lost three games before a final, bone-crunching draw against the Women's Society.

Bet they will have some pretty tidy teams, you are not actually looking for players on here are you?  Played in a greene king sevens tourney at my local club yonks ago, five hundred quid top prize... Idea was that local pubs would wheel out a team of sorts and it would all be a laugh, ended up with teams full of ringers coming from miles away.  I was in the winning team the previous year before word got out.

Basically you want seven people who are quick and fit that can tackle, catch and pass.

Nah we want ten or so people who'll arrive drunk and who by the end don't know which way they should be running. We have our priorities right. Last year we accidentally fielded a couple of ringers and ended up winning some games, that can't be allowed to happen again.

Lol, good luck, could always go out press ganging the night before.

lol I've just found our motivational video from last year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JenbCeIWdMs

That is proper funny.  Topher Burn, surely that is a made up name.

No...well...I think he was going for the 'Xander thing that some Alexanders have gone for instead of Alex...his name is Christopher. In his defence he did play with a brain tumour, which could be considered brave. About half those people were too drunk to play, so we drafted in Kayleigh, who ways about two stone and is scared of butterflies, and her lantern-jawed, 6'4 beefcake boyfriend. It was his fault we won some games.

I thought it was a woman, just had to watch again.

http://oi48.tinypic.com/nbx6ko.jpg

In all their glory. Note that our uniform consisted of vaguely purple shirts.

I haven't played for about 5 years but tbh I might've been up for this if it was a Sparky Invitation XV. Never liked sevens though. Is this is Staffs btw? - as I'd also have to get a visa.

* in Staffs

I'd pay good money to see a bunch of CCers playing sevens

will get me handbag

HH it's not even full-contact. We've somehow managed to make rugby gayer.

touch rugby?

The sun has set on the Empire

I'm afraid so. Did I mention there's beer? There is a contact event too, but we have girls on our team.

/truckers

Touch rugby is actually serious stuff in australia.  You couldnt make it up.  They have leagues and all sorts.

In my day I was a fearsome hooker and played and won several sevens tournaments.

Having said that, like HH Sultan Vinegar I last played a company game about 5 years ago and although technically the memory was solid and that part went well, sadly though the engine was just not firing on all cylinders anymore. I ended up with concussion and a bruise on my back the size of a frisbee which to this day I have no idea how it happened.

So for those reasons unfortunately I'll have to declare myself oot.

Put up a link though for sponsorship and I'll chip in a few sovs.

orioles

02 Apr 13 18:22


I'd pay good money to see a bunch of CCers playing sevens

Indeed O, I'm sure that would certainly be a sight for sore eyes.

Slippy I bet they've got their fair share of fearsome hookers in Stoke anyway

Fifteen aside.

Front row...  Annie, slippy, tommy toes
Second row...  TGM, munch man
Back row....  Judorick, sultan, HRH
Scrum half...  Roger the butler

Fly half Ken Masters
Centres...  Sparky, me
Wings...  Canaryboy, velasquez
Fukl back... Erse (for obvious reasons)

Water boy.....Orioles

good line up rob. annie at loose head a handy call

I am tempted to put canary boy in second row next to TGM, but i suspect cb, for all his homosexual tendencies, would actually come over old coy when it comes to putting your hand up between another man's legs.  Much better to have him fannying around on the wing, all 6foot and eight stone of him with those spindly white legs and ill fitting kit.

Munch Man is the only Chit Chat forumite that I've met in person (about two years ago).  He was a genuine giant of a chap but, with great respect, probably a tad too old for rugby.

I don't think you're all quite grasping the level of inadequacy we're aiming for here.

Poker is manager.  Maddogs in charge of the half time oranges.

My concern is erse under a big gary owen with the opposition bearing down on him. His sphincter is suspect at the best of times.

It is all epidemic though slippy.  Noone will go near him.

Slippy=sultan

yes true

I do actually have a picture in my head of TGM rising from a scrum, socks round his ankles, caked in mud ambling over to the nexr ruck but before he is within twenty yards there up again and back to where the original scrum.  He turns like an aircraft carrier and ambles over but theyve gone over to the other side again etc etc.  Ken would keep morale up and a little known fact(made up just now) is that centres can get away with being unfit more than any other position.

just so im getting this straight, are u recruting chit chat posters for ur rugby tema? is it a male of female team, are u male or feamle? and do u expect chit chat posters to travel the length and bredth of the country to play, i hope ur paying for travel

I'm being paid £1 per mile travel expenses, AR.

I have this vision of annie lifting munch man sky high to secure line out ball. I reckon we'd be dynamos setting up mauls in the opposition 22.

Ithink joel deserves a  placeon the subs bench.

I'm not even paying for the half-time orange AR.

Here is my chit 1st XV

Front row - Studyform, Slippy Blue, Clungehungry
Second row - SqueezeFirmly, Munch Man
Back row - HRH The Lager Khan, Judorick, Curious Cat

Scrum half - History Maker
Fly Half - HH Sultan Vinegar

Centres - Rob Dylan, Mc Moonbeam
Wingers - Howdi, Pokermonster

Full back - Rogerthebutler

A formidable outfit I'm sure you'd agree and with the power in the front row, solid jumpers in the line out and an agile back row the forwards would win enough ball for the girlie backs to score the tries with the amount of possession they would no doubt have. Jobsagoodun.

TheRankingMissP to come on with the magic sponge should the need arise if and when we have a man down.

That's one hell of a line-up. Makes The Expendables look like Grange Hill.

In our salad days and our pyhsical pomp, that pack would have been a decent outfit.

Original team photo.

http://www.sportsignings.com/images/products/products/Argentina/Image6784.jpg

any number of candidates to play right wing

Only gay men play rugby

Just seen this Slippy. Thanks for thinking I could be a stand off,
Strictly number 8 or flanker I'm afraid ...

I take it that our first game will be a 'friendly' against Mumsnet 2nd XV.

I too, like HHSV, am a back row I'm afraid, although there's every chance that I may be one of the faster chitchatters and might be used to best effect on the wing. I'm actually faster now than I was ten years ago. Much lighter though - was about 14st then, only 12st now.

if it's touch and pass i'll consider it.