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An odd question you may think..but say some aggressive drunken monster starts giving it large,surely the temptation is there to shut em up?(we're not talking wife beating here though)
This afternoon i popped into the bookies and was mooching around for a while when a fat "t shirt and leggings" type was behind me and i stepped (quite hard but accidently)on her foot,she starts screaming and swearing and calling me a f*** this and effing that.I said i'm really sorry but she carried on huffing and puffing and swearing,i again said "i'm sorry but it's not the end of the world no damage done" she then goes into "into kicking off mode" telling me she could "take me for a effing lot of money for the injury etc etc blah di blah".
I walks away and finishes a coupon when she carries it on telling me she will "kick the **** out of me there and then" unless i "do something about it"
Now..like most Chit Chatters i'm 6'2 and 14.5 st but still she rants by now offering me outside,by now the whole shop is starring open mouthed at the panto. I'm thinking "should i just knock her out"? but that could be 2 yrs inside,but what if she lays into me,were talking a bit rough drunken 20 stoner here. What would "Whispering" Ted Lowe have done i thought?
Anyway i decided on discretion over valour and walked out (genuinely thought she'd follow,she didn't) and tbf i was mightly relieved i didn't have to actually have an unwanted punch up with a bird! A bizzare feeling for sure,i've been in some rucks in my time but never hit a bird but gawd knows what i'd have done if she'd come out swinging.
This afternoon i popped into the bookies and was mooching around for a while when a fat "t shirt and leggings" type was behind me and i stepped (quite hard but accidently)on her foot,she starts screaming and swearing and calling me a f*** this and effing that.I said i'm really sorry but she carried on huffing and puffing and swearing,i again said "i'm sorry but it's not the end of the world no damage done" she then goes into "into kicking off mode" telling me she could "take me for a effing lot of money for the injury etc etc blah di blah".
I walks away and finishes a coupon when she carries it on telling me she will "kick the **** out of me there and then" unless i "do something about it"
Now..like most Chit Chatters i'm 6'2 and 14.5 st but still she rants by now offering me outside,by now the whole shop is starring open mouthed at the panto. I'm thinking "should i just knock her out"? but that could be 2 yrs inside,but what if she lays into me,were talking a bit rough drunken 20 stoner here. What would "Whispering" Ted Lowe have done i thought?Anyway i decided on discretion over valour and walked out (genuinely thought she'd follow,she didn't) and tbf i was mightly relieved i didn't have to actually have an unwanted punch up with a bird! A bizzare feeling for sure,i've been in some rucks in my time but never hit a bird but gawd knows what i'd have done if she'd come out swinging.
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I would 'ave gone and got my big mates to sort her out.
I can't afford to have my good looks damaged!!!
I can't afford to have my good looks damaged!!!
I've never hit a woman in my life either BV, I don't count very vigorous bottie smacking as hitting obviously. Having said that, say she did have a swing and broke your nose, what would you have done then?
should have videoed on your phone. Thats the modern response
Exactly Slippy,she was a v big bird and if she'd connected with a haymaker gawd knows,it's all very well saying you duck and dive from her swings but when 20 stone of drunken blubber heaves into you could be very tricky to mount a decent defence.I'm hoping someone has videod it as i'd love to see this on youtube (the bookies was billy hills in Barrow )
Well I'll answer my own question then, if some obese, screaming banshee landed one on beak my damaging my boyish good looks I think I would have to resort to knocking her out.
i would have gone back with a six pack of stella and asked if she fancied getting her gums around my plumbs
BonVivvy 05 Jan 13 17:30
.......she then goes into "into kicking off mode" telling me she could "take me for a effing lot of money for the injury etc etc blah di blah".
You should show her your betting slip. When she saw your selections she would realise there was no chance of getting any money.
.......she then goes into "into kicking off mode" telling me she could "take me for a effing lot of money for the injury etc etc blah di blah".
You should show her your betting slip. When she saw your selections she would realise there was no chance of getting any money.
should have took her outside and smashed her up the wrongun behind the bins thats what she was hinting at
you should have travelled to japan to purchase an anciently made yet perfect samurai sword, went back and decapitated her from behind with a perfect swing. she wouldn't notice it had happened due to the wafer like perfection of your sword, until she bent over....
gawd knows what i'd have done if she'd come out swinging.
by the sounds of it she wouldnt count as a part of a couple as no swingers would want to go near her ......
by the sounds of it she wouldnt count as a part of a couple as no swingers would want to go near her ......
what disappoints me most is that she was'nt on the FOBT @ the time of conception
It's easy to see why Barrow isn't really regarded as a proper part of Cumbria
Should have challenged her that if she could correctly settle a Round Robin you would buy her a pair of steel toe caps and give her a twenty quid voucher for Greggs The Bakers, otherwise shut the fukc up or you'd bend her over a FOBT and kill her with your knob.
I'd have yanked out my trouser snake and said 'Getcha laughin' gear round this.'
That generally makes 'em go quiet.
That generally makes 'em go quiet.
Yeah, but that got you barred from Plaistow Ladbrokes by Big Colin.
Why was she so close to you in the first place...? Didn't think you had to fight for room in a bookies these days, thought they were all empty.
It wouldn`t have counted (hitting a woman) that sort don`t qualify.
I used to be able to settle a round robin, your highness - what will you give me 
chances are she is biding her time.
Next time he walks in the bookies and she's got a couple of mates with her, she'll kick off. Bints like her might be pissed/drugged up most of the time, but have memories like an elephant.
She's also probably well used to a tear up, and would have no hesitation of grabbing a guy by his plums, turning them 360, before trying rip them clean off.
Overall, it's a lose lose situation unless you like a bit of confrontation
Next time he walks in the bookies and she's got a couple of mates with her, she'll kick off. Bints like her might be pissed/drugged up most of the time, but have memories like an elephant.
She's also probably well used to a tear up, and would have no hesitation of grabbing a guy by his plums, turning them 360, before trying rip them clean off.
Overall, it's a lose lose situation unless you like a bit of confrontation
I was outside that bookies today and I saw a couple of fellas exit fitting your description. One came out whistling as if he didn't have a care in the world and the other ran out screaming, "you wouldn't hit a man wearing glasses would you?".
Which one were you?
Which one were you?
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