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In theory a great idea.
But in reality......
Marks and Spencers in town have 5 self service tills. WITHOUT FAIL one of them is out of order at any given time.
I used one today to pay for a pint of Milk and some Strawberries. I inserted my card and it said 're insert' which I did. It then asked me to swipe the card. The screen then says I need assistance. Some absolute bitch trots over with a face like thunder. '' What have you done? '' she asks.
'' The machine didn't seem to like my card. It asked me to swipe it.''
'' OK. sign this receipt please.'' I do. She then asks to see another card that's got my signature. I show her my license. ''That's a different signature''. I cant accept that.
I explain to her I have a credit card but that the signature has worn off.
She calls a supervisor.
She basically insinuates I'm a thief!
Finally common sense prevails and her supervisor authorises the payment!
I told her the only reason I needed assistance was the damn machine was broke....
Her attitude was absolutely disgraceful. I know people have bad days but ffs I was seriously thinking about having a word with her manager.
I left the store, for what should have been a routine 5 minute shop, 15 mins later SEETHING with rage.
RANT OVER.
But in reality......
Marks and Spencers in town have 5 self service tills. WITHOUT FAIL one of them is out of order at any given time.
I used one today to pay for a pint of Milk and some Strawberries. I inserted my card and it said 're insert' which I did. It then asked me to swipe the card. The screen then says I need assistance. Some absolute bitch trots over with a face like thunder. '' What have you done? '' she asks.
'' The machine didn't seem to like my card. It asked me to swipe it.''
'' OK. sign this receipt please.'' I do. She then asks to see another card that's got my signature. I show her my license. ''That's a different signature''. I cant accept that.
I explain to her I have a credit card but that the signature has worn off.
She calls a supervisor.
She basically insinuates I'm a thief!
Finally common sense prevails and her supervisor authorises the payment!
I told her the only reason I needed assistance was the damn machine was broke....
Her attitude was absolutely disgraceful. I know people have bad days but ffs I was seriously thinking about having a word with her manager.
I left the store, for what should have been a routine 5 minute shop, 15 mins later SEETHING with rage.
RANT OVER.
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Buy some apples and take a good bite out of one of them before you put then in your bag. Causes havoc.
Nothing annoys me more than waiting in the queue on my lunch hour watching someone blunder their way through scanning a bloody sandwich and packet of crisps.
Scan
place item on surface
repeat
Nothing could be easier yet people cant grasp the idea.
Scan
place item on surface
repeat
Nothing could be easier yet people cant grasp the idea.
Did they hit you with the said sandwich causing you to mildy exsanguinate on it thus causing it to be bloody and therefore weigh the odd gram overweight and lead to a machine malfunction?
ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT USE MACHINES THAT PUT PEOPLE LIKE ME OUT OF WORK 
i use them all the time
i use them all the time
I have never, and would never use one.
I see people struggling every time, and they have an assistant standing there and doing nothing, until there is a problem!
She may as well be on another till and let folks go through as normal.
It seems to me to be a bit dangerous in any case, as if you make a genuine mistake like AWT, you will likely be arrested for shop lifting!
I used to quite like the self scan that you did on the way round, as that let you straight through the checkout except for the random
re-scan which was annoying!
Unfortunately on a couple of occasions their total was different to mine, by a small amount over, and once it was less!
What it was good for was to spend enough to get one of their promotional discounts, like say £50 and save a fiver, or double points
off fuel etc.
Too many times otherwise I have missed it by 70p or something.
I see people struggling every time, and they have an assistant standing there and doing nothing, until there is a problem!
She may as well be on another till and let folks go through as normal.
It seems to me to be a bit dangerous in any case, as if you make a genuine mistake like AWT, you will likely be arrested for shop lifting!
I used to quite like the self scan that you did on the way round, as that let you straight through the checkout except for the random
re-scan which was annoying!
Unfortunately on a couple of occasions their total was different to mine, by a small amount over, and once it was less!
What it was good for was to spend enough to get one of their promotional discounts, like say £50 and save a fiver, or double points
off fuel etc.
Too many times otherwise I have missed it by 70p or something.
M & S Dublin years ago (clothes store)
Some lady ambushed me in the store and persuaded me to sign up for their store card. I used it a few times. I always paid on time. One time I paid their monthly bill, and then accidently paid it a second time. I didn't use the card again for a long period. Eventually I was in the store, remembered they owed me money, and went up to the cash desk with a few things. "There is a problem with your card Sir". "Please come over to the phone and speak to our admin".
Their store cards had only a six month period before expiry, and that card was time expired. I had ID with me. No good. I was told there was a lot of card fraud. There was now a lengthy queue at the cash desk. The "lady" asked for my card. I thought she was going to ok my purchase. No. She took the big scissors she had on a chain around her waist and without saying anything cut up the card in front of me (and the rest of the queue.) Later at home I found their new card (for the next six months. I phoned them, asked for a refund of the overpayment, and cancelled the card.
Thank you Marks & Spencer.
Some lady ambushed me in the store and persuaded me to sign up for their store card. I used it a few times. I always paid on time. One time I paid their monthly bill, and then accidently paid it a second time. I didn't use the card again for a long period. Eventually I was in the store, remembered they owed me money, and went up to the cash desk with a few things. "There is a problem with your card Sir". "Please come over to the phone and speak to our admin".
Their store cards had only a six month period before expiry, and that card was time expired. I had ID with me. No good. I was told there was a lot of card fraud. There was now a lengthy queue at the cash desk. The "lady" asked for my card. I thought she was going to ok my purchase. No. She took the big scissors she had on a chain around her waist and without saying anything cut up the card in front of me (and the rest of the queue.) Later at home I found their new card (for the next six months. I phoned them, asked for a refund of the overpayment, and cancelled the card.
Thank you Marks & Spencer.
wh smiths
3 machines two out of action
'I am really against these self service machines - it is taking jobs away from you' I remarked to a girl who works there
'but it then allows us to do other things than serve'
'but two of them aren't even working' I replied!!!
3 machines two out of action
'I am really against these self service machines - it is taking jobs away from you' I remarked to a girl who works there
'but it then allows us to do other things than serve'
'but two of them aren't even working' I replied!!!
Anyone tried them at B&Q with 10 x 70 litre bags of compost?
I have just this very minute stopped shaking with rage.
Tomorrow I'm going to not bother paying for my goods and just walk out.
Tomorrow I'm going to not bother paying for my goods and just walk out.
staff seem to be hovering over you looking for you to do something wrong when you don't need them
and generally chatting to a colleague when you need something authorising like a bottle of whisky and 3 dozen paracetamol.
and generally chatting to a colleague when you need something authorising like a bottle of whisky and 3 dozen paracetamol.
That's the beauty they are to busy fecking about you would get the whiskey for the price of the 3 dozen paracetamol
One staff bystander watched me put the same new 10p piece in as the final cash required. It kept being rejected. Haven't you got another one she said. Yes I said as I chucked her the new 10p but I am not going to fook about here any longer. Took my grub and left her to it.
Our little Asda has nobody on tills in the morning, riles me to see the old folk confused using them.
I don't mind them myself, but don't come asking me for support when jobs start going, the machines are my friends now.
Can't see how they could prosecute a shoplifter if they were left to their own devices
(ours have a sign saying 'Monitored for better service'
).
The other day though, there was an idiot mum letting her precious 10 year old girl scan all the goods, it was chocca in there.
Halfway through, 'beep' and then 'I didn't say you could have those cakes'
Fecking dimwit.
I don't mind them myself, but don't come asking me for support when jobs start going, the machines are my friends now.
Can't see how they could prosecute a shoplifter if they were left to their own devices
(ours have a sign saying 'Monitored for better service').The other day though, there was an idiot mum letting her precious 10 year old girl scan all the goods, it was chocca in there.
Halfway through, 'beep' and then 'I didn't say you could have those cakes'
Fecking dimwit.
If it happens again,I would suggest that after you have paid,you change your mind and ask for a refund.
Cant stand them, always use humans if possible, but I shop late at night occasionally and theres no choice. One night I was tired and irritable and after having untold "exceptional items" and problems bagging,I tried to scan a box of chicken kievs 5 times, it wouldnt work at any stage so I decided that they had had every chance to charge me, and that it must be free, and put it in the bag. I dont feel guilty, and will never feel guilty.
chicken kiev are notorious. its the slippery butter that upsets the bar code
I find at Asda it is best to scan all the items and when you have paid, then put them into your bags.If you try to put them in your bags as you are scanning the machine is forever asking for an assistant.
What annoys me is when you hear the machines going 'There is an unidentified object in the bagging area'. Whenever you hear that, I'll bet you any money that the 'unidentified object in the bagging area' is actually, erm, a bag.. Now if a bagging area can't even identify that something's a bloody bag, what use is it??
Apart from that, I don't mind them at all.. The trick is just to take everything very very slowly....
Apart from that, I don't mind them at all.. The trick is just to take everything very very slowly....
In my local Asda they have replaced staff with 'self serve' checkouts between 10pm and 8am and have the cheek to sign them 'Fast Lane'ffs. Never again .
.
I'm a professional self service user.
It's now us against them.they are out to catch you with their dubious rancid offers.
The self checker opens up a wonderful world for those that think outside the box.. In many cases very light objects do not register in the bag. Also buying the heavy weight cheap Swede is a very popular buy.
It's now us against them.they are out to catch you with their dubious rancid offers.
The self checker opens up a wonderful world for those that think outside the box.. In many cases very light objects do not register in the bag. Also buying the heavy weight cheap Swede is a very popular buy.
Overall I liked the hand held scanners that you used as you shopped. I think it was Safeways who had them, and obviously cost
big bucks to set up!
Even the trolleys had an inbuilt dock for the gadget, and you knew exactly what you were spending before check out.
The downside was the random checking, and if you were out by the smallest amount, you were made to feel like a serial thief!
They would then check probably on the next two shops, so put you through all the self scanning for nothing!
The "shrinkage" must have been colossal with the brave, desperate and foolish, walking off with bottles of spirits and batteries etc.
This was in the days pre security tagging expensive items.
big bucks to set up!
Even the trolleys had an inbuilt dock for the gadget, and you knew exactly what you were spending before check out.
The downside was the random checking, and if you were out by the smallest amount, you were made to feel like a serial thief!
They would then check probably on the next two shops, so put you through all the self scanning for nothing!
The "shrinkage" must have been colossal with the brave, desperate and foolish, walking off with bottles of spirits and batteries etc.
This was in the days pre security tagging expensive items.
I rarely get through an episode without being pounced on by a helpful slip-of-a-girl. I am sure I once asked for directions to 'the bagging area' expecting it to be on the other side of the store. It does sound like a place rather than a shelf. I never know where anything is or where it goes. Card up the bottom, God know's where the receipt's coming from. Unidentified object in the bagging area, what might that be? Some sort of clue is required. I liked the asian woman that I used to see every time, then they replaced her with electronics and a loud Joanna Lumley impersonator hiding in a box. I may have put something in the bagging area, but if I have I don't want everyone knowing about it thanks, shh. What's going to happen when they start evolving some sort of Skynet AI? "Pile cream in the bagging area, repeat pile cream!" follwed by a long electronic laugh.
I assume all of you that object to these self service tills also object to ATMs and queue in the bank to get your money?
If the bagging area detector detected a bag in the area, it would say something like "Bag in the Bagging Area". But, if the bag doesn't have a bar-code to tell the bar-code code reader that it is a bag then the bar-code reader will (and should!) revert to it's standard 'failed to reveal identity' mode, and class the bag as an unidentified object.
It could probably guess that it's a bag, but it doesn't get paid for guessing.
It could probably guess that it's a bag, but it doesn't get paid for guessing.
I use self scanning machines all the time with little problem. It might be hard to take, but for those moaning, it's because you're likely doing it wrong.
Ergonomic design on them is very poor to day the least.(Look under a new car bonnet. It is all black pastic with a couple of coloured caps for fluids)
Design should be four openings left to right, money or cash, change and receipt. Why the fook sre they dotted all over the machine. Change will be dispensed under the flap just to the right of your receipt Eh???.
Press start?? christ if there is a bar code there I am scanning.
Do you have a bag? if you cant see my items then yes I have a bag.
How do you want to pay? look in the card slot or coin slot if one has something in it then that is how i am paying.
Self certifying button to say you are over 18 for beer should be a must. It can flag a check button on the attendants kiosk for them to check if they want, but don't stop the whole slick machine for a bottle of cider.
Design should be four openings left to right, money or cash, change and receipt. Why the fook sre they dotted all over the machine. Change will be dispensed under the flap just to the right of your receipt Eh???.
Press start?? christ if there is a bar code there I am scanning.
Do you have a bag? if you cant see my items then yes I have a bag.
How do you want to pay? look in the card slot or coin slot if one has something in it then that is how i am paying.
Self certifying button to say you are over 18 for beer should be a must. It can flag a check button on the attendants kiosk for them to check if they want, but don't stop the whole slick machine for a bottle of cider.
Complain.
There is no need for you to be treated like a fool by dimwitted staff. The chances are, you'll get some vouchers or something.
These staff are not used to breaking their monotonous routine, their smiley customer service attitude is fake and when something happens that they are not used to, their brains misfire and they go into defensive/angry mode, which is probably what they are like when they are not at work.
There is no need for you to be treated like a fool by dimwitted staff. The chances are, you'll get some vouchers or something.
These staff are not used to breaking their monotonous routine, their smiley customer service attitude is fake and when something happens that they are not used to, their brains misfire and they go into defensive/angry mode, which is probably what they are like when they are not at work.
If anyone DOES stop you and ask if there is anything else you have not paid for, you have a right to say to them 'are you accusing me of shoplifting?' If they say anything other than yes, then they cannot stop you leaving the store. If they say yes, then you do not have to show them the goods you have bought, but instead you can insist on them phoning the police. When they have called the police, and they have proven you have not shoplifted, you can sue the store.
I may have put something in the bagging area, but if I have I don't want everyone knowing about it thanks, shh. What's going to happen when they start evolving some sort of Skynet AI? "Pile cream in the bagging area, repeat pile cream!" follwed by a long electronic laugh.
Very funny, Boggle!
Very funny, Boggle!
I found some kind of Canesten product on the 'paid' side in Tesco once, I pointed it out to an assistant.
I'm guessing there was a very annoyed woman who unpacked her shopping with an itchy minge, wonder if she went back
I'm guessing there was a very annoyed woman who unpacked her shopping with an itchy minge, wonder if she went back
Found a £10 note on the floor by a Sainsburys self service check out last month...so its not all bad.....unless you lost the tenner...
Waitrose have decided on the genius idea of card payment only self service machines. Chap next to me today looked totally perplexed as he couldnt find the coin slot to put £1.80 in to sort his bill.
Self service is set up purposefully for customers using a basket or who have just a few items. Forcing card payment onto the section of customers who on average have the lowest overall spend has to be one of the dumbest decisions ever.
Self service is set up purposefully for customers using a basket or who have just a few items. Forcing card payment onto the section of customers who on average have the lowest overall spend has to be one of the dumbest decisions ever.
^ yeah I got caught by one of those Tesco "card only" machines. I had cash on me, credit card in the car. All sorts of staff verification waffle. They only had a tiny sign on the display saying card only.
Tescos and Sainsburys take the p i s s with these... when they have a special offer on say an item is £2.00 each but buy two of the same item for £3.00
if you go to the self service till this will not register and try to charge you £4 for the two items instead of £3 unless you go back into a separate page on the machine and back to pay out... absolute thieving k u n t s ripping people off every day by f u c k knows how much.
if you go to the self service till this will not register and try to charge you £4 for the two items instead of £3 unless you go back into a separate page on the machine and back to pay out... absolute thieving k u n t s ripping people off every day by f u c k knows how much.
although no computer expert myself, I seem to have landed the role at my work as the person to ask when their computers 'dnot work properly', needless to say they are all over 50 and 99.9% of the time it is down to 'operator error'. Technology is a great thing in the right hands, and a useless piece of junk in the wrong....
As for the self service tills, I suppose its possible they could all be faulty, although I would have thought if anything like 10% of transactions 'went wrong' they would improve them or discard them.... Perhaps you are just unlucky.... law of averages say you are due a good run on them, unless of course you are the weak link the system....
Personally I like them... saves any uncomfortable, polite, mind numbing chit chat., plus the fact that I litteraly seethe when they ask me for my club card, and then I see their look of amazement when I tell them that actually I am not,and have no wish to be a member of thier little 'club'
As for the self service tills, I suppose its possible they could all be faulty, although I would have thought if anything like 10% of transactions 'went wrong' they would improve them or discard them.... Perhaps you are just unlucky.... law of averages say you are due a good run on them, unless of course you are the weak link the system....
Personally I like them... saves any uncomfortable, polite, mind numbing chit chat., plus the fact that I litteraly seethe when they ask me for my club card, and then I see their look of amazement when I tell them that actually I am not,and have no wish to be a member of thier little 'club'
Love these machines.
Great when you are going to pay and see half a dozen mug pensioners queuing for each of the only human checkouts , rather than use the 'new fangled' auto ones, which are usually free from queuing. I'm half way home before the last oldie has made it to the front of the queue.
Wish they would install them in smaller shops so i wouldn't have to queue behind lottery muppets.
Great when you are going to pay and see half a dozen mug pensioners queuing for each of the only human checkouts , rather than use the 'new fangled' auto ones, which are usually free from queuing. I'm half way home before the last oldie has made it to the front of the queue.
Wish they would install them in smaller shops so i wouldn't have to queue behind lottery muppets.
ffs steam in,buy some top quality sirloin steak and stick it though as apples everyones a winner
MadVlad is a genius - not!
regards Ifor : retired Superstore manager.
regards Ifor : retired Superstore manager.
Ivor thats why you were a superstore manager(retired),Asda was the dream son now jog on 
DO let us know when you are going to put your devious plan into operation.. I'm keen to observe you in action! 
Ivor only jesting sir,you helped me out in a previous life can you guess who I am ?
Just almost had a nervous breakdown.
Went to pay for a sandwich, milk and some cakes.
6 self service tills. 4 of them are 'out of order'. The queue for the other tills must have had 40 people in.
I'm really not the sort for confrontation but I asked an employee why the self service tills are so poor. '' We do have problems every now and again '' she said. I told her that 3 of them have been out of order all week and asked how hard it was to reboot the damn thing. She couldnt answer.
4 staff were manning the other tills ( 8 tills ). Whilst 4 other staff members were stood by the self service tills trying to help the thickos who are unable to perform a simple task.
Jesus allmighty!
I queue'd 13 mins in the end. Completely unnaceptable. I wont be returning.
Went to pay for a sandwich, milk and some cakes.
6 self service tills. 4 of them are 'out of order'. The queue for the other tills must have had 40 people in.
I'm really not the sort for confrontation but I asked an employee why the self service tills are so poor. '' We do have problems every now and again '' she said. I told her that 3 of them have been out of order all week and asked how hard it was to reboot the damn thing. She couldnt answer.
4 staff were manning the other tills ( 8 tills ). Whilst 4 other staff members were stood by the self service tills trying to help the thickos who are unable to perform a simple task.
Jesus allmighty!
I queue'd 13 mins in the end. Completely unnaceptable. I wont be returning.
I was forced to use a self service checkout for the first time in my life at B+Q the other week since there wasnt a single manned checkout available.
The store is the biggest store I have ever seen and there were 2 lines waiting to use 4 machines that seemed to be playing up for everyone.
It was an absolute abortion.
On the issue of poor service...my fave is to ask the person providing the attitude/poor service "you've really earned your minimum wage this hour eh?"
The store is the biggest store I have ever seen and there were 2 lines waiting to use 4 machines that seemed to be playing up for everyone.
It was an absolute abortion.
On the issue of poor service...my fave is to ask the person providing the attitude/poor service "you've really earned your minimum wage this hour eh?"
I just love it when the supervisor at Tesco shouts "THERE!" if you dare wait more than half a second to go to an open self-service till.
Dustybin. A rather insulting comment to make. Maybe a little bit of consructive advice could achieve more.
I've never experienced any of these frustrations that seem rife amiog other chit chatters. I DID have a problem at the meat counter once...I could hear the staff, male nd female, chatting away 'round the back'. But a swift "Oi! Stop gobbin' and get your arse round here!" soon sorted out the delay. They are just poorly trained. They are just the same as people always have been, they're just not properly trained.
I've never experienced any of these frustrations that seem rife amiog other chit chatters. I DID have a problem at the meat counter once...I could hear the staff, male nd female, chatting away 'round the back'. But a swift "Oi! Stop gobbin' and get your arse round here!" soon sorted out the delay. They are just poorly trained. They are just the same as people always have been, they're just not properly trained.
I find the solution to "unexpected item in bagging area" is to bundle up all the items you've placed there and then bang them all back down on the scales... that fixes it most of the time.
The only bother i have had is when it won't let you have alcohol without the staff . it has lit up things before about bags and stuff but i totally ignore it pack up pay and go.
I only use them for evidence purposes in case I get murdered by my dutch neighbour.
Local Tesco Express now has 6 self-service tills and only 2 proper ones (which are hardly ever attended).
Bloke once insisted I pay for the papers at self-service - wouldn't listen when I said I had a coupon which machine wouldn't recognise - and said "I'll show you how to do it". Machine would not scan coupon so he had to get another member of staff to run it through the proper till. Stomped out muttering about people who dont listen.
these self service tills are denying most chit chatters their one chance of social interaction. shameful
A guy I was working with a few months back swears he'd buy one bottle of the cheapest Chateau Gutrot, and five bottles of decent plonk and scan the cheapy 6 times.
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