Chit Chat
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So what do you do? Your sat in the boozer having a quiet afternoon drink with your mistress or whatever and you notice the ex Goodie and legendary Birding hardman giving your squeeze the real look while rolling his eyes and scratching his beard and making "oooeeerrrr " type noises
Do you
a.Throw caution to thw wind and run straight into Oddie hoping you can connect a few haymakers before his enourmous upper body strength takes you down and pummells you to possible death?
b.engage him in idle chitter chatter about the latest birding binoculars,beard trimmers and if he'l ever reunite the Goodies and bury the hatchet (or remove it) from inbetween Tim Brooke Taylors shoulderblades
or
c.drink up grab your bird and run like the wind,you know what Oddie can do to a man and you clearly rememeber what "Man of Steel" Peter Purves told you,that Oddie was the only man he feared going mano mano with.
Do you
a.Throw caution to thw wind and run straight into Oddie hoping you can connect a few haymakers before his enourmous upper body strength takes you down and pummells you to possible death?
b.engage him in idle chitter chatter about the latest birding binoculars,beard trimmers and if he'l ever reunite the Goodies and bury the hatchet (or remove it) from inbetween Tim Brooke Taylors shoulderblades
or
c.drink up grab your bird and run like the wind,you know what Oddie can do to a man and you clearly rememeber what "Man of Steel" Peter Purves told you,that Oddie was the only man he feared going mano mano with.
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Replies: 15
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c) - even sex crazed siren Madonna, who could have had any man of her choosing, wrote the lyrics "Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie. Put your hands all over my body."
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if the said boozer had an open fire then a naked wrestling match a la Oliver Reed and Alan Bates would be the way to go. Oddie would predictably keep his binoculars on, and could be strangled with the neck strap accordingly.
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An interesting angle HH,but a nude Bill Oddie??? Oddie hasn't been nude since 1971 (anywhere even in the shower) so whether he'd agree to your Bryon-esque suggestion is not at all guaranteed.
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that's not what I'd heard BV. Apparently when he's off his face on Absinth after a local RSPB meet, all they have to do is put the Funky Gibbon on the dukebox, and Oddie's up on the tables with the meat and two veg flying.
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Yon Oddie has the look of a badger; such men are dangerous.
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Bryon-esque sums up Oddie for me.
I'd be more concerned if Garden were to brush my woman "accidentally" while making his way to the cigarette machine. With his flowing hair, dark good looks and academic record, I reckon he could sweep a bird off her feet with a Byronic line of patter. Oddie would barely achieve moronic imo. |
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We're ruling out the silky smooth stylings of Tim 'Ten Inch' Brooke-Taylor?
Brave move imo. |
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This isn't so much the art of the patter it's the law of the jungle,in which the feral like Oddie(the only living man to have given Biddy Baxter "what for" after she turned down Oddies offer of his old bone shaker for the "medi bike " appeal)
Peronally i'd suggest discretion being the better part etc etc...unless he chases you out in the car park ala Dave Lee Travis in 76...Travis made an unkind remark about Oddied facial foliage at which (in the words of "diddy david hamilton" "Oddie went beserk like a mating baboon" I'll not go into detail but Travis was put down in seconds after bellowing "Quack Quack Ooops" repeatedly into Oddies face...as Oddie pummelled the helpless Hairy Cornflake screaming "i'll give you fecking quack quack oops Travis you c@ant"!! it was all very quickly over and Travis took a "time out" from dj'ing and got quite a taste for the hospital food. |
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Wouldn't take much to see off Travis imo.
That time he loudly commented within earshot of Wogan that the latter's playlist was "staid" and "not with it" ... Well, the room fell silent as the popular Irishman's eyes narrowed to slits. "If the Provos want you to hear The feckin' Floral Dance," he whispered in his loveable brogue, "then The feckin' Floral Dance is what you'll hear." The smell as Travis loudly broke wind at that point took 10 minutes to clear, and Blackburn actually wet himself. |
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Oddie looks like a neanderthal. You wouldn't want to fight him in a phone box.
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screaming from beneaththewaves @ 19.59
best for a long time |
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d)i would tell him to put his fookin glasses back on.
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Bill Oddie in sett-to over badger woman
Kevin Dowling and Robin Henry Published: 6 December 2015 IT ALL started, as so many modern dramas do, with two men, a younger woman described as “irresistible” and a hunt for wounded badgers. A shared interest in wildlife conservation ended in a “jealous” row between Bill Oddie, the former Goodie turned wildlife campaigner, and Joe Duckworth, the former chief executive of the League against Cruel Sports (LACS). http://www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/news/uk_news/People/article1641852.ece Never mind wounded badgers - it'll be this Duckworth character in need of protection now. |
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That was Duckworth's mistake.
"Dookworth? I'll give you a fookin' doock's worth, mate." |