I want a girlfriend

put a call out for babycakes..shes game as a pebble

so do i mate. any ladies in north wales wanna go for a date???

No. Nobody here can help. This is Chit Chat - Badly deformed monks with personal hygiene issues get more action than us.

Buy some ducks and mansfieldtoon's missus will be as wet as they are.

You can borrow mine.......and return her on the 15th of February if you want. Seriously, for f'ck sake, you'd be doing me a big favour!

Go to Eastern Europe
Full of byrds

Liberal mps endorse it

how old is she, an can she cook?

Forget it. They only cause you a lot of grief and strife. Best to order a latex doll, they do what you want and don't answer back.

Yeah, but even they let you down. Or is it the other way round?

Sorry HRH, I don't know the answer to that but obviously it seems you've first hand experience.[;)]

Lucan

IMO you are beyond help

http://www.myspace.com/stwane

Not me - It's not possible as I have a family of hedgehogs living in my pants.

Please help me... im desparate...i want some one 25to35 5.6 or under slim and attractive....not much to ask for ...is it?

go speed dating,join a dance group ,singles night out etc good luck

There's your answer Squirrel. Get together with HRH The Lager Khan and his hedgehogs, as long as you don't mind the occasional prick.

I don't want a squirrel in my pants nibbling on my nuts

Put a steering wheel in your pants , that will drive yer nuts !

Seriously, Secret Squirrel, if you really are that desperate I'm prepared to do my bit for Care in the Community so I'll put on a dress and makeup and you can treat me to a night out. I'm not making any promises but if you treat me really well I'll let you have a quick kiss and grope in the dark but no tongues mind you.

if your not into pubs and clubs etc. then the supermarket gotta be the place to go to find single women

Try the library, as well. A good place to BOOK a date.

The supermarket?

What, Friday night, shower and a shave, dab of aftershave, make yourself look respectable and head to Morrisons?

HRH The Lager Khan Joined: 02 Feb 02
Replies: 5875 09 Dec 10 22:58   


The supermarket?

What, Friday night, shower and a shave, dab of aftershave, make yourself look respectable and head to Morrisons? 

He will probably slip on some eggs [:D]

summat like that hrh an having an accident in the freezer section could well break the ice

You could end up with fish fingers.

Have you considered volunteering to work in a Cat Rescue Centre? I believe you'll find lots of **** there.

cats?

Fancy that, Betfair censoring references to PU..Y? What prudes!

Wonder if he's still single

Good to see redbag back.
Now I can tell him to fack off again.

looking for bf now

Sounds like he was down on the dumps when he posted this

Female companionship is what you need, but just casual. Girlfriends are more of a semi permanent relationship, they stick around and will interfere with your drinking and gambling and if your not careful they turn into wives!

.
http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/ladies/

yep..try abroad if no luck here

you may need some money fairly regular job, and other things

no guarantee they will stay with you, may well marry you just to get into the country

HRH The Lager Khan  • December 9, 2010 9:51 PM GMT 
No. Nobody here can help. This is Chit Chat - Badly deformed monks with personal hygiene issues get more action than us.

I don't know wot all the fuss is about. Wimin is only good for one thing and most of the time they aren't much good at that!

The trouble is, at my age, I have forgotten what that one thing is!

I think finding the right companion in life is probably one of the hardest things we do

I used to be sad and lonely...until I found someone
then my problems really started!

I think if we do find the right one...it gives us the best quality of life
but finding the wrong one gives us the worst

In our society women to most of the choosing now in my opinion

I have come to the conclusion we would be a good deal better off without sex

How would you bring all your coal in from the yard if there was no sex to put it in?

not that we get much choice over sex, as it is an instinct
although I have known people who have suffered cancer in a particular place

they lost their crown jewels, but some, not all, found they were actually more contented

you have lost me there slicer

unless you mean we need a bucket for our coal, yes we do

I forgot. Most Betfairians aren't posh like wot I is. Sex is the containers in which our servants bring coal into our mansions! Coal sex!

I hope this clarifies the matter!

thats given me away...a peasant

women are trouble

minimal contact with them advised

from experience good advice PugMuter

unfortunately there is a need in us for them

Catch 22

do not get involved with a woman unless you are absolutely certain she is the one

otherwise your life will be ruined and you will be left with no money

women hold all the cards

ah thats the power of the f anny

do not underestimate the power of the beaver

be strong!

PugMunter1  • July 19, 2014 5:27 PM BST
do not get involved with a woman unless you are absolutely certain she is the one

good advice

but judging by a divorce rate about as high as the marriage
and the number of separated older people living on their own
parted from spouse and kids

easier said than done

Judged on my own experiences, and all the suffering relationships cause
I think it is a pity we need sex

Although we all need company, somebody to care for, care for us
I have someone but she does not live with me, it would never work
but I could not manage without her

But life is lonely on my mine, but it is the only thing that works for me

It is one of most difficult problems we have in life, watch Jeremy Kyle
(my friend does)

look what poor old Do Wah Diddy went through
apologies I should not laugh

look what poor old Do Wah Diddy went through

Did he? Dumb!

ebul are you divorced mate?

i cant see why guys want to get married

fair enough that you dont want to be on your own and want a woman to warm the bed etc

but the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages imo

You need to identify you're realistic target market area and work from there. No point in chasing rainbows.

*your

You obviously have a problem.

jesus there are some sad cases about

Yes..especially when you want a girlfriend and can't get one!

one of life's problems

luckily I did not get married, I just lived with them, no children

they were both disasters, and I did get hurt badly

but living on my own is not ideal, but I would never live full time with a women again,
I have learned my lesson...but other people are happy with it, so  gl to them
if it works, I still think it is best

A cat is ok, but cant speak, and as for sex well, I am not that way inclined

The friend I have, I have some responsibility for, even though we don't live together
I don't feel I can drop this tbh....she has a few problems

So I don't encourage anyone else now, despite my age I still get some interested parties, but it would too risky

I think if I was wealthy I might get someone in, but I am not, so that is it really

The only thing I can think of to say to the OP is look abroad

Things like money, security, job, house etc, they still count with women
so bettering himself in life is no bad thing

but since I have failed, I am probably the last person to ask

be original

In the end women decide, I not sure how much choice men have in this, funnily enough??

If there is a god marriage is his funniest joke. You go to bed with one woman before the big day and wake up with another once that ring is on her finger and never emerge the better for it.

Although there are som good suggestions here I think that secretsquirel would pooh pooh lots of these ideas

yes crisp
If he had problems before, he would have even more following some of these idea

self confidence...women don't like this if you lack it too much..although they are not overkeen on arrogant either

although in my case, it was not so much I had an inferiority complex(you don't hear that word nowadays)
so much as I was inferior

that is a good point eternal...they seem to change, and it is not for the better
although it works for most, those who can endure mehinks

I have seen men in my age group, probably younger now
they have been married, kids etc, for about 30 years....

Then she just walks out on him....the pain it causes, and I am sure it happens the other way round
it seems a complete betrayal, people are destroyed

why I think, maybe we are better off without sex, although we all need companionship and the woman's touch
I feel

it is one of the great unanswered questions in life for me...a woman's mind

I thought you were drunk last night but actually you are a loser all the time aren't you?

thanks for that BB

I have learnt something in life, sometimes losers are the nicest people

its the winners who are the nasty ones

I was always a sucker for a sexy woman. Was led by my pr1ck and ended up married a couple of times.
Woman are usually more driven and know what they want in life, whilst we tend to go along with the flow.

Differences eventually creep to the surface and splits happen. I'd love to be young again and know what i know now.

Pulling a woman isnt difficult. Make em laugh always does the trick. I think ebulgery has it sussed. Have a woman but dont live with her. Do your own thing and have just yourself to worry about.

"Make em laugh always does the trick"

Spot on.

I think ebulgery has it sussed. Have a woman but dont live with her

sadly no
like all systems it has it's flaw, I don't have anyone to look after me in my home

Like all Horse Systems, in the end , it is down to the individuals themselves

I am sure secret squirrel must regret ever asking on here
He has probably realised we are even more unsuccessful than he is

there is a saying
'every dog has his day'...which turns out to be true, more often than you think

So as long as he does the basics right and keeps looking, I am sure he will strike gold one day
he just has to hope it is not fools gold

You are right Blackrock, that dangly thing between our legs,frequently does a very poor job as a divining rod
luckily mine has pretty well stopped twitching now, for which I am sincerely grateful

anyway gl Squirrel

at least you now know what not to do, if nothing else

oh yes don't appear too intense, crowd them, they need space...although you have to show some interest of course

being too intense can frighten some women

or better,treat em like $hit,every woman loves a ba$tard

I suspect you may have the answer terry

track proven though the ages

oh this thread is so sad it really is.  I'm sure there are nice women out there for all of you, the problem (and I mean this is in a nice way) is that so many men can be swayed by the wrapper rather than the contents.  You would think that as men get older they would realise that they would be so much better off going for a *nice* woman, but no, some money-grabbing b1tch comes along with her skirt hitched up round her backside and off they go... works every time.


You say you haven't had much luck with on-line dating - and so many of them have become data harvesting sites now - what about speed dating?  You'll get to meet lots of women (they always have more women than men) and if don't like the woman you'll only be stuck with her for a few minutes at the most!

good luck and be yourself - no point pretending to be someone that you're not.

someone has seen through us men
of course you are right yeah yeah we are guided by our loins into making some woeful choices

tbf women are also attracted by the glamour....it appears both sexes seem attracted by the worst of the other

I just came across a copy of Vox magazine from 1991 and noticed a review of the Squeeze (I'm a big fan, but I never talk about it) album 'Play'.

"...the best Squeeze songs, and all twelve on 'Play' are worthy of close attention, contain universal truth. The people who live in this world are recognisable - the men are frequently self-pitying dreamers and the women are always tough and strong."

tt the non Big Issue threads

Good idea, Leopard.

It was nonsense similar to what Big Issue is doing that caused Betfair mods to shut the forum to new members. We don't want them to do it again.

He got a bit exuberant, could happen to anyone, best to get a bit back to normal.

look it's been said on here many a time - pof is the way to go.

Most of chit chat are on it - that must tell you something.

I'm on it as a man and a woman to edge my bets

Face it - nobody wants you........

squirrels first date from pof was going really well until on the sofa he said " relax, put your feet up, I'll get a stool"

Since this thread started the OP has changed his mind, and now bats for the other side.

Write this down on a piece of paper and read it everyday."I AM  GOING TO FIND MY TRUE SELF AND GET THAT GIRL"

Since this thread started the OP has changed his mind, and now bats for the other side.

POF has all bases covered. It caters for gay straight and transgender (pre and post op.

There are some creatures from the deep on there admittedly

POF full of nutters and slappers. Just dont meet up with the nutters.