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I'm busy this afternoon - could you please keep ths near the top for quick reference.
TIA.
TIA.
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Can't help but smile at that Fishy, after the bounder FFT robbed you of two this week!
one was downright thievery, the other was a frshly-baked pie on the wondow sill.
his passport merits closer inspection in light of revelations elsewhere.
his passport merits closer inspection in light of revelations elsewhere.
Mr.Winkle - Barleykeevit Meldrass, 41 year old record producer from Hants. sent in these COLEMANBALLS to bump the thread up towards the 600 mark, which is gone, now -- but wasn't, then, when he did it, with that intention, back then, when it was still possible, like :
ALAN PARRY : And Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season.
SID WADDELL : The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome.
JIM WATT : To be honest, it was a very physical fight.
REG GUTTERIDGE : And the crowd go wild as they see the shaven head of Hagler enter the auditorium...and there he is, hooded...
ALAN PARRY : And Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season.
SID WADDELL : The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome.
JIM WATT : To be honest, it was a very physical fight.
REG GUTTERIDGE : And the crowd go wild as they see the shaven head of Hagler enter the auditorium...and there he is, hooded...
PETER JONES : Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hooped shirts...they look like a team of zebras.
BRYAN BUTLER : And Keegan was there like a surgeon's knife -- BANG !!
JOHN BOND : I promise results - not promises.
RICHIE BENAUD : The hallmark of a great captain is the ability to win the toss at the right time.
BRYAN BUTLER : And Keegan was there like a surgeon's knife -- BANG !!
JOHN BOND : I promise results - not promises.
RICHIE BENAUD : The hallmark of a great captain is the ability to win the toss at the right time.
Barley says MORE TO FOLLOW, Winkle, if you pay £2.00 per quote...
Barleykeevit, a word in your ear.
Wax.
Now fack off, and take that thieving facker Fishy with you. [smiley:crazy]
Wax.
Now fack off, and take that thieving facker Fishy with you. [smiley:crazy]
Joan P. Drummond, a 20 year old product supervisor at the Quarty-Pak store near Melton Mowbray, asks "Mr.Winkle, my ginger cat goes NUTS for ear wax. He can't get enough of it...WHY IS THIS ?? 
"
"
Also, "Tender Ted" Cheddar, a 101 year old tinned meat trader from Tewkesbury, puts forth thus : "Mr.Winkle - was Cassius Clay / Ali really ALL THAT...? His career finished like a massive cheese rolling downhill. Reply if you dare."
Joan, your cat has a mental illness that we in the trade know originated from the EMERALD isle.
SAPPHIRE as I know there are only 3 KNOWN cures.
1,
Disguise your cat as a Tesco shopping bag and stuff it into a hedgerow in Stoke. One of the residents, probably the worse for a few wine gums, will spend 15 MASSIVE minutes taking to it, He is a DIAMOND geezer, but a cat can only stand so much, and instead of EATING the WAX, he will stuff it into his fluffy little lug'oles.
2.
Get in contact with RUBY WAX on the dog and bone. Once your cat hears her facking screeching voice into it's ear, it will be FELINE sorry it ever ate wax at all, and will INSTANTLY stop.
3
Send the moggy to KENNY MANN, who is a MASSIVE cat lover of indeterminable proportions, and those two words gave me a headache to type, so I'm going to take TWO PLARKOTEX (soluble) with half a pint of milk and go for a SMOKE.
SAPPHIRE as I know there are only 3 KNOWN cures.
1,
Disguise your cat as a Tesco shopping bag and stuff it into a hedgerow in Stoke. One of the residents, probably the worse for a few wine gums, will spend 15 MASSIVE minutes taking to it, He is a DIAMOND geezer, but a cat can only stand so much, and instead of EATING the WAX, he will stuff it into his fluffy little lug'oles.
2.
Get in contact with RUBY WAX on the dog and bone. Once your cat hears her facking screeching voice into it's ear, it will be FELINE sorry it ever ate wax at all, and will INSTANTLY stop.
3
Send the moggy to KENNY MANN, who is a MASSIVE cat lover of indeterminable proportions, and those two words gave me a headache to type, so I'm going to take TWO PLARKOTEX (soluble) with half a pint of milk and go for a SMOKE.
Tender Ted, you will feel the WRATH of my keyboard when the MIGHTY Arsenal have CRUSHED Bolton 1-0.
In the meantime, don't start any long books.
In the meantime, don't start any long books.
Tender Ted...after years of eating all that tinned meat...101 in dog years. 
...so...like...feck it - divide by 7 or whatever...
I can confirm that plastic bags look surprisingly like cats in hedgerows at certain times of the night in Stoke.
TENDER TED.
These were some of the unfortunates who 'dissed' The Greatest
Tunny Hunsaker
In a coma in 1962 - delayed effect of his fight with (Clay) Ali
in 1960
DIED - 2005
Herb Siler
Fought Clay (Ali) in 1960
In 1972 he was sent down for 7 years for manslaughter.
(His grandson, Brandon Siler, is an NFL linebacker)
DIED - 2001
Tony Esperti - was an associate of 'the mob'
Sent to prison for gunning down Thomas ' The Enforcer' Altamura.
DIED - 2002
LaMar Clark
Had a 44 fight KO or stoppage streak - retird at the age of 28 after fighting clay (Ali)
DIED - 2006
Sonny Banks
Died of injuries received in a fight against Leotis Martin
DIED - 1965
Alejandro Lavorante
Once ranked as No. 3 in the world after beating Zora Folley.
Fought Clay (Ali) in July 1962, fought in September 1962 getting KO'd by John Riggis, he went into a lengthy coma
DIED - 1964
Sonny Liston
Say no more
DIED - 1970
Cleveland Williams
Ranked 49th of the 100 greatest punchers of all time.
Killed by a hit and run driver
DIED - 1999
Zora Folley
Died in mysterious circumstance when visiting a friend at a hotel in Tucson. Found by the pool with head injuries.
DIED - 1972
Oscar Bonavena
Was getting his leg over the wife of the owner of the Mustang Ranch.
He got shot for his trouble
DIED - 1976
Buster Mathis (senior)
Lost by UD to Ali in 1971, the following he got KOd by Ron Lyle. and retired.
Had diabetes and kidney problems, but his compulsive saw weight go up to 39 stones
DIED - 1995
and his last opponent, Trevoer Berbick, was murdered.
DIED - 2006
All these FIGHTERS had a dig at The Greatest and they all SUFFERED, is THAT what YOU want Tender Ted.
You could end up TENDERISED Ted.
Arsenal scraped home btw
These were some of the unfortunates who 'dissed' The Greatest
Tunny Hunsaker
In a coma in 1962 - delayed effect of his fight with (Clay) Ali
in 1960DIED - 2005
Herb Siler
Fought Clay (Ali) in 1960
In 1972 he was sent down for 7 years for manslaughter.
(His grandson, Brandon Siler, is an NFL linebacker)
DIED - 2001
Tony Esperti - was an associate of 'the mob'
Sent to prison for gunning down Thomas ' The Enforcer' Altamura.
DIED - 2002
LaMar Clark
Had a 44 fight KO or stoppage streak - retird at the age of 28 after fighting clay (Ali)
DIED - 2006
Sonny Banks
Died of injuries received in a fight against Leotis Martin
DIED - 1965
Alejandro Lavorante
Once ranked as No. 3 in the world after beating Zora Folley.
Fought Clay (Ali) in July 1962, fought in September 1962 getting KO'd by John Riggis, he went into a lengthy coma
DIED - 1964
Sonny Liston
Say no more
DIED - 1970
Cleveland Williams
Ranked 49th of the 100 greatest punchers of all time.
Killed by a hit and run driver
DIED - 1999
Zora Folley
Died in mysterious circumstance when visiting a friend at a hotel in Tucson. Found by the pool with head injuries.
DIED - 1972
Oscar Bonavena
Was getting his leg over the wife of the owner of the Mustang Ranch.
He got shot for his trouble
DIED - 1976
Buster Mathis (senior)
Lost by UD to Ali in 1971, the following he got KOd by Ron Lyle. and retired.
Had diabetes and kidney problems, but his compulsive saw weight go up to 39 stones
DIED - 1995
and his last opponent, Trevoer Berbick, was murdered.
DIED - 2006
All these FIGHTERS had a dig at The Greatest and they all SUFFERED, is THAT what YOU want Tender Ted.
You could end up TENDERISED Ted.
Arsenal scraped home btw
Tommy Toes 11 Sep 10 20:00
I can confirm that plastic bags look surprisingly like cats in hedgerows at certain times of the night in Stoke.
I've no idea why I cant forget that.
Believe me, I've tried.
I can confirm that plastic bags look surprisingly like cats in hedgerows at certain times of the night in Stoke.
I've no idea why I cant forget that.
Believe me, I've tried.
Ha ha!
I remember the night very well - and how surprised I was when I finally realised I'd been talking to a plastic bag instead of a cat!
I remember the night very well - and how surprised I was when I finally realised I'd been talking to a plastic bag instead of a cat!
Still catches the odd few out in a quiz, despite it being on here about a dozen times.
Can't believe you'd talk to Tender Ted like that - a 101 year old man. 
If Tender Ted had been near me at the end of the Almeria v Real Socediad game tonight, I'd have proabably ensured he never got to 102.
Winkle - from Cologne! ----->
"Herr Winkle now - My name? Tausendfach Jelangerjelieberbauer, at 22 a specialist with gas. More shall arrive to describe why I beseech your money..."
"Herr Winkle now - My name? Tausendfach Jelangerjelieberbauer, at 22 a specialist with gas. More shall arrive to describe why I beseech your money..."
Tausendfach Jelangerjelieberbauer - cut and paste THAT, ya basturt! - says :
"Mr. Winkle - I must simply explain (express) to you of my system of the bodily gas expansion which can change the gas industry for many years. I believe that it cuts gas bills completely about Europe and the Midlands by up to 90%. HOW I you hear to say! Good with new technologies we can harness the energy of our own fart methane to offer massive public reductions.
Try you a cycle (a gas circulation) durchma and fart at the same moment if you must go, just as long as you collect to her bulges your own methane in the special Carbonsicherung. Give me 20,000 Euros to form a beginning which the industry of the world has avoided for so long. But, whatever you do to like (fall), please you must eat more vegetable like carrots, corn, cabbage and red beet roots on a truly MASSIVE scakle or perhaps the world cannot survive another thousand year."
"Mr. Winkle - I must simply explain (express) to you of my system of the bodily gas expansion which can change the gas industry for many years. I believe that it cuts gas bills completely about Europe and the Midlands by up to 90%. HOW I you hear to say! Good with new technologies we can harness the energy of our own fart methane to offer massive public reductions.
Try you a cycle (a gas circulation) durchma and fart at the same moment if you must go, just as long as you collect to her bulges your own methane in the special Carbonsicherung. Give me 20,000 Euros to form a beginning which the industry of the world has avoided for so long. But, whatever you do to like (fall), please you must eat more vegetable like carrots, corn, cabbage and red beet roots on a truly MASSIVE scakle or perhaps the world cannot survive another thousand year."
You half-baked german fackwit.
I have bigger COWES than the Isle of WHITE, and many east yooroopean ladies who gather gas, in disused TESCO carrier bags, from the rear end of COWES. They get MASSIVE pay packet for mere 140 hour week, of 90p per hour, plus FREE smuggled in yoropean cigarettes.
For some reason, when they have stop for **** break, most of them disappear.
But PLENTY more are willings to do the jobs.
So, you get no euros, schillings or even pfennigs, from me.
And you took lot of stick from Dutch boys at fitba. JA ???
I have bigger COWES than the Isle of WHITE, and many east yooroopean ladies who gather gas, in disused TESCO carrier bags, from the rear end of COWES. They get MASSIVE pay packet for mere 140 hour week, of 90p per hour, plus FREE smuggled in yoropean cigarettes.
For some reason, when they have stop for **** break, most of them disappear.
But PLENTY more are willings to do the jobs.
So, you get no euros, schillings or even pfennigs, from me.
And you took lot of stick from Dutch boys at fitba. JA ???
Tender Ted phoned,too : "Mister Winkle, what about GEORGE FOREMAN? He is doing quite nicely, having made hundreds of millions with his griller and chicken rotisserie. I bought the rotisserie as I had to try it with various tinned meats, including chopped ham and pork. There was some mess and I had to clean about sixteen fiddly bits from the GEORGE FOREMAN rotisserie.
GEORGE FOREMAN - he lost the battle and won the war.
"
GEORGE FOREMAN - he lost the battle and won the war.
"
But he'll never be called 'The Greatest'
Just 'The Mummy'
Just 'The Mummy'
More than pleasant [>o]
Are the memories we share [>o]
Like a pheasant
Flying through thee air [>o]
SING IT, NOW ! [>o] NOW !!!! [>o][>o]
Are the memories we share [>o]
Like a pheasant
Flying through thee air [>o]
SING IT, NOW ! [>o] NOW !!!! [>o][>o]
SING IT YOU !! Come ON ! ---->
MORE THAN PLEASANT [:(]
ARE THE MEMORIES WE SHARE [>o]
LIKE A PHEASANT [:)]
FLING THROUGH THEE AIIIIIRRRRRRR-ARRRRR! [>o]
MORE THAN PLEASANT [:(]
ARE THE MEMORIES WE SHARE [>o]
LIKE A PHEASANT [:)]
FLING THROUGH THEE AIIIIIRRRRRRR-ARRRRR! [>o]
sORRY - THAT - sorry -Sorry, that's "FLING IT" - FLING IT - yes, it - (that is, the pheasant) - yeah, fling it through the air, as it - the pheasant - can't quite fly under its own power -- so...pick it up and...well, ostensibly, you fling it - chuck it, like - through the air...
Well, I was just saying - not ALOUD, like - I was saying it's the pheasant that was flung.
Just read a cracking book by a Chinese agricultural author, by the way -- "Spreading Cow Pats to Increase Soil Fertility" by Hoo Flung Dung...
Just read a cracking book by a Chinese agricultural author, by the way -- "Spreading Cow Pats to Increase Soil Fertility" by Hoo Flung Dung...
I've got a few by his cousins :
'Speared In The Ribs' by Wot Kung Fu Dat
and
'One Of My Nuts Is Aching' by Wun Hung Lo
'Speared In The Ribs' by Wot Kung Fu Dat
and
'One Of My Nuts Is Aching' by Wun Hung Lo
Mr.Winkle, I know (and Jerry Rail, 45 year old ice cream van owner from Scarborough, ALSO knows)that you are not really the hard basturt you like to project yourself as, on here...for Barleykeevit Meldrass has told us that you sent him 100 Euros through the post to provide more COLEMANBALLS and to buy a George Foreman ROTISSERIE.
Velarsesqueeze,
Meklraas was sent a COUNTERFEIT 100 Euro note, and the ORF ORRITIES have been tipped off. He is in for a MASSIVE visit from the FRAUD squad. The penalty for passing dodgy notes in BELL JUM is severe. He will be put a in a NON-PADDED cell, and subjected to non-stop warbling of imported CDs of that swiss bird who sang in the MASSIVE TITANIC film.
Like 'the scottish play', NOBODY DARES to speak her name.
Meklraas will go mad or commit suicide, and that's the end of COLEMANBALLS.
For those watching this thread in black and white, all my text is red.
Meklraas was sent a COUNTERFEIT 100 Euro note, and the ORF ORRITIES have been tipped off. He is in for a MASSIVE visit from the FRAUD squad. The penalty for passing dodgy notes in BELL JUM is severe. He will be put a in a NON-PADDED cell, and subjected to non-stop warbling of imported CDs of that swiss bird who sang in the MASSIVE TITANIC film.
Like 'the scottish play', NOBODY DARES to speak her name.
Meklraas will go mad or commit suicide, and that's the end of COLEMANBALLS.
For those watching this thread in black and white, all my text is red.
Hey, don't shoot the messenger! [>o] Charlie Narkell, 23 year old chess pro from Saltcoats, asked me to post this : "Hi Mister W - I really admire what you have tried to do. I posted a GRIN SMILEY CHEESE THING to show this... and then 2 more."
I posted a GRIN SMILEY CHEESE THING to show this... and then 2 more."
Tommy - I passed by the front window today, on the way back from the bookies, and I thought I noticed a funny mark on the window, like a ball had been booted against it. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be something very unusual - the imprint of a largish bird with wings out-spread and its head turned down and to the side.
I reckon it was an owl that flew right in to the window at speed. There is street lighting and there is a tree at the bottom of the garden...it looks like the trees were reflected in the window and the owl was disorientated.
I took photos of the almost perfect imprint. It must be an owl (?) as it's funny powdery stuff that marked the glass, almost like the stuff on a moth or butterfly wing. Never seen anything like it.
I reckon it was an owl that flew right in to the window at speed. There is street lighting and there is a tree at the bottom of the garden...it looks like the trees were reflected in the window and the owl was disorientated.
I took photos of the almost perfect imprint. It must be an owl (?) as it's funny powdery stuff that marked the glass, almost like the stuff on a moth or butterfly wing. Never seen anything like it.
Vel, I get that on my back window quite a lot when the collared doves or wood pigeons are sometimes 'spooked' when they're in the lilac tree right by the window and fly into it, but (luckily) glance off it.
It's quite strange to see their 'powdery' imprints on the pane until the window cleaner comes. I don't know why they are powdery, by the way.
It's quite strange to see their 'powdery' imprints on the pane until the window cleaner comes. I don't know why they are powdery, by the way.
What is a dove? Is it just a white pigeon?
In the photos, it looks like it's been painted with white paint.
In the photos, it looks like it's been painted with white paint.
There are numerous doves, Vel, the most common seen in gardens these days are collared doves - ehich are a pearl grey colour with a ring around their necks. Very pretty things, and they go through some amzing courting techniques of 'kissing each other' when you watch them:
http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/c/collareddove/index.aspx
http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/c/collareddove/index.aspx
Ta, Tommy...you've solved the problem...after googling the collared doves, I can see the same wing shape...I didn't realize pigeons had such soft feathers...I think we can safely rule out PHEASANT...
Ha ha, I think we can, Vel - especialy a flung pheasant!
There's too much serendipity on this thread - it's a bit scary. [:(]
We had a pigeon that hit a window at the back of the house last year. It had its wings up at about 45 degrees when it hit the glass. I left it on the window for a few days but rain eventually washed it away. No film in either camera, so got no photo.
Vel, I've just found this video of Lisa's Booby Trap's last run at Saratoga:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZjaCMk4P88
Hope she get's back to winning ways on her next run.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZjaCMk4P88
Hope she get's back to winning ways on her next run.
"Film"??
ffs - have you went back to the future, Mr.Winkle? You can get a fully spammed 12 megapixel digital camera with pro-biotic dolphin view, optical jimminy strawberry flavoured lense for about 50 quid.
I'll have a look at that, Tommy...Battle of Britain prog. on bbc1 now with Ewan McGregor...
ffs - have you went back to the future, Mr.Winkle? You can get a fully spammed 12 megapixel digital camera with pro-biotic dolphin view, optical jimminy strawberry flavoured lense for about 50 quid.
I'll have a look at that, Tommy...Battle of Britain prog. on bbc1 now with Ewan McGregor...
I don't wanna 12 megapixel digital camera, even if it had a PLARKOTEX PLATED ZOOM lens, and a strap make of finest skunk fur.
I've yet to understand the teknikl....techkniksl..... fack it. INSTRUCKSHUNS on my 35mm camera with ZOOM lenseseseses and PYRAMID PANORMAIC option.
Watt good is that two me, I'm knot going to EGIPPED.
I've yet to understand the teknikl....techkniksl..... fack it. INSTRUCKSHUNS on my 35mm camera with ZOOM lenseseseses and PYRAMID PANORMAIC option.
Watt good is that two me, I'm knot going to EGIPPED.
Tommy Toes 18 Sep 10 22:45
Very pretty things, and they go through some amzing courting techniques of 'kissing each other' when you watch them:
Never had you down as a peeping tom.
Very pretty things, and they go through some amzing courting techniques of 'kissing each other' when you watch them:
Never had you down as a peeping tom.
THE FOOCHER brings 4 hossmen of the APOCAYPSE - and they are Channon, Nicholls, Caitlin and McCoy. The first two couldn't lie straight in bed, and the other tow are CURSED, yes CURSED.
Iz this what you want, IS IT ? ? CURSED jockettes riding dodgy hosses ????
Bring back the old days when Fred Winters mighty steeds won Gold Cups, Nationals and the Boat Race, all captured on a Box Brownie with a 127 film in it, INCLUDING photos of Johnny Francome chucking Miriams 'riding gear' out of the bedroom window.
Iz this what you want, IS IT ? ? CURSED jockettes riding dodgy hosses ????
Bring back the old days when Fred Winters mighty steeds won Gold Cups, Nationals and the Boat Race, all captured on a Box Brownie with a 127 film in it, INCLUDING photos of Johnny Francome chucking Miriams 'riding gear' out of the bedroom window.
Well, to be fair Mr.Winkle, I have quite a lot of old racing photies maself, including a nice big pic of Lester and NEVER SAY DIE wot I bot on eBay.
I've got a copy of Lesters book, signed by Lester, for my birthday a few years ago.
It's not the signature that matters, it's the fact that my exboss's son queued up in a London bookshop to get it during his lunch break.
It's not the signature that matters, it's the fact that my exboss's son queued up in a London bookshop to get it during his lunch break.
Yes! Where are you? You weren't on the One Show a few days ago (or Monday night) were you?
He's got a brush, a pallette of paint, a canvas, an easel and a crate of Buckfast Tonic Wine.
Won't see him for a week imo.
Won't see him for a week imo.
Maybe he'll be tempted out tonight to see the MASSIVE QUEEN KONG Zenyatta run at Hollywood Park (Oaktree) at 12:15 am on Sunday morning?
Zenyatta coverage on Bettfair video now.
Current prices: 1/9 US - 1.26 Betfair
Current prices: 1/9 US - 1.26 Betfair
My God, I LOVE that 'oss!
QUEEN KONG makes it 19/19 !
It was great when she was parading and the trumpeter played 'There's No Business Like Show Business'!
QUEEN KONG makes it 19/19 !
It was great when she was parading and the trumpeter played 'There's No Business Like Show Business'!
Just read the Longchamp results, forgot all about Fishys horse.
It won at 8/1
It won at 8/1
I know, Mr W! I forgot about it too, until it was too late - I went to the BF site to try and see where it had finished but the race had already been cleared off the screen, so I had to wait until the result was up on the RP site.
Fishy got it at 9s - terrific stuff for a 7 horse field, and from the race report on RP, it won quite comfortably.
I mentioned in the pub I hoped you hadn't forgotten it!
Fishy got it at 9s - terrific stuff for a 7 horse field, and from the race report on RP, it won quite comfortably.
I mentioned in the pub I hoped you hadn't forgotten it!
Typical of me.
Somebody puts a loser up and I never miss those.
Somebody puts a loser up and I never miss those.
Here's QUEEN KONG Zenyatta winning her 19th race on Saturday/Sunday:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dq8fAQ6yjo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dq8fAQ6yjo
performance of the week for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtPrTRpw_Ms
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtPrTRpw_Ms
Maybe we can tempt him out of his hidey-hole with a Tunnock's?
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