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11 Apr 08
11:33
Joined:
Date Joined:
21 Jun 05
...Daily Mirror Saturday, suppose you knew that already though.
Show More
Introduce a system of...
Head slapping?
A system of...
Head slapping?
System of...
Head slapping?
:D
Head slapping?
A system of...
Head slapping?
System of...
Head slapping?
:D
I'm old enough to be her father, well her older Brother.
Either way its incest !
Either way its incest !
He's certainly come out with a few classics, Emmanuel .
Watching it now . :)
Watching it now . :)
Far From Trouble 10 Jun 19:14
Who invented the skip?
_______________________________
I don't care who invented the bloody skip ,i'm sick and tired of you**ging Farmers off !!!
You ignorant cuuu.......** a doodle dooo :D
Who invented the skip?
_______________________________
I don't care who invented the bloody skip ,i'm sick and tired of you**ging Farmers off !!!
You ignorant cuuu.......** a doodle dooo :D
At first i was mortified ,then you were born and we grew to like you :^0
you do realise theres no way I could have drawn a chalk peni5 on my back?
Two questions
How?
and Why?
Two questions
How?
and Why?
Free for today only on itunes
http://www.itunes12daysofchristmas.co.uk/
"Knowing me, knowing yule." Christmas special.
http://www.itunes12daysofchristmas.co.uk/
"Knowing me, knowing yule." Christmas special.
Free for today only on itunes
http://www.itunes12daysofchristmas.co.uk/
"Knowing me, knowing yule." Christmas special.
http://www.itunes12daysofchristmas.co.uk/
"Knowing me, knowing yule." Christmas special.
In 1978 nobody died
In 1979 nobody died
In 1980 bobody died
In 1980 someONE died
In 1979 nobody died
In 1980 bobody died
In 1980 someONE died
ffs
Nobody
1981
memo:Never try and watch cricket on tv while listening to football on the radio while typing and tickling dog.
Nobody
1981
memo:Never try and watch cricket on tv while listening to football on the radio while typing and tickling dog.
..and theyre scared because they dont know why theyre so big
When talking to an East Anglian farmer on his radio show,
Knowing me..Alan Partridge......Sacking you Glen Ponda!
"you can use the sausage to scoop the beans oot"
Now listeners I have someone on the line who fears he may be a gay.
He's married so he wishes to remain anonymous I shall only be using his christian name.
I am talking to 'Domingo' in Little Oakley.
oh, he's gone.
He's married so he wishes to remain anonymous I shall only be using his christian name.
I am talking to 'Domingo' in Little Oakley.
oh, he's gone.
Time for traffic
"Get out of the way you f*cking idiot"
"Get out of the way you f*cking idiot"
Haa Ha Ha...Ha Ha Ha...Hah ha...Hah ha....... NEWS!
"Tungsten tip screws, never gonna use them, never gonna use them"
I’m just going to warn you, I have popped out again. It’s in no way connected with our proximity.
PARTRIDGE: Well, this week is national self defence week, so who better to tell us than one of Britain's best-loved judo fighting people, commonwealth silver medallist Adam Neils? Adam.
NEILS: Hi.
PARTRIDGE: Now, self defence is not about simply punching someone repeatedly in the face until they're unconscious, is it?
NEILS: Hi.
PARTRIDGE: Now, self defence is not about simply punching someone repeatedly in the face until they're unconscious, is it?
PARTRIDGE [COMMENTATING]:
Greg Louganis, down, double back twister, bangs his head and in. Textbook. Lovely.
Let's see it again. He boings down, up in the air, double back twister, comes down, bangs his head on the board and in.
Lovely! The judges surely will give him high marks for that.
Greg Louganis, down, double back twister, bangs his head and in. Textbook. Lovely.
Let's see it again. He boings down, up in the air, double back twister, comes down, bangs his head on the board and in.
Lovely! The judges surely will give him high marks for that.
and on the Tour de France:
No way! Surely the judges are going to come down like a tonne of bricks on THAT! Driving a car with bikes on the roof is not a sportsmanlike way to compete...
No way! Surely the judges are going to come down like a tonne of bricks on THAT! Driving a car with bikes on the roof is not a sportsmanlike way to compete...
It's all giggles for you lot, but I've been clinically fed up for two years. It's even resulted in me driving to Dundee barefoot while gorging myself on Toblerones.
"Novelty Bobble on the inside... Novelty Bobble, followed by Immaculate Pasta... Christ's Chin coming up on the inside, followed by Abba The Horse and Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon... coming up the rear, Sinead O'Connor... but Novelty Bobble is holding his own, with Immaculate Pasta... Ccccchhhhrrrrist's Chin!! Chhhrrrrist's Chin!! Abba The Horse on the inside... Small Town Gypsy Massacre gaining ground, but closely followed by Epileptic Fridge Boy... and Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon breaking through there, Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon... Alf Ramsey's Porn Dungeon... Sinead O'Connor..
"Lyn, hand me the apple pie, and remove yourself from the theatre of conflict"
"What do you mean?"
"Go and stand by the Yakults"
"What do you mean?"
"Go and stand by the Yakults"
If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there’s a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who’s also your brother.
You could swing a tiger in here! Wouldn't want to though - not unless it'd been stunned. Even then it would weigh the best part of a ton.
Far From Trouble Joined: 26 Jun 07
Replies: 7420 31 Aug 10 22:30
A cup of beans?
like a savoury 99.
Replies: 7420 31 Aug 10 22:30
A cup of beans?
like a savoury 99.
Alan: What’s your name?
Jed: Jed. Jed Maxwell.
Alan: Oh, Jed Maxwell. You’re no relation to Robert Maxwell?
Jed: No.
Alan: You’re not going to go all fat and steal my pension?
Jed: Jed. Jed Maxwell.
Alan: Oh, Jed Maxwell. You’re no relation to Robert Maxwell?
Jed: No.
Alan: You’re not going to go all fat and steal my pension?
[Michael adjusts the noticeboard. Later, in the restaurant, Alan and Lynn are sitting at a table with the two men from RTE, Aidan and Paul]
Alan: Now I must say I’m very grateful you’ve come over – big fans of all the Irish…stuff. Love your pop music, Enya, and the other one – ripped up the Pope, bald chap? And I think… that’s it.
Aidan: Well, there’s U2, of course.
Alan: Oh, well, yeah. Fantastic. ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday’. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn’t it? You wake up in the morning, you’ve got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you’ve got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think “Sunday, bloody Sunday!”.
Aidan: I really hate to do this to you, Alan, but it’s actually a song about –
Paul: Yeah, bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre in Derry in 1972.
Alan: A massacre? Ugh. I’m not playing that again.
Alan: Now I must say I’m very grateful you’ve come over – big fans of all the Irish…stuff. Love your pop music, Enya, and the other one – ripped up the Pope, bald chap? And I think… that’s it.
Aidan: Well, there’s U2, of course.
Alan: Oh, well, yeah. Fantastic. ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday’. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn’t it? You wake up in the morning, you’ve got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you’ve got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think “Sunday, bloody Sunday!”.
Aidan: I really hate to do this to you, Alan, but it’s actually a song about –
Paul: Yeah, bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre in Derry in 1972.
Alan: A massacre? Ugh. I’m not playing that again.
he's in charge of our internet computer
sorry about that, a few gremlins in the system
I came down this morning and I couldn’t open my door…
Watched the DAN! Episode last night 
Does green willow still post here btw?
Does green willow still post here btw?
I'm 47 and my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net!
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