JOSEY WALES GAVE ME BACK ONE OF MY CHAIRS

THE INVISIBLE MAN AT OUR TABLE

Once we were all sorted, Arthur and Katie on the 3rd floor, me and wee Richie (Katies brother) on the 4th floor, Josey Wales on the 7th floor, and 2 of Joseys daughters, on an unknown floor, we agreed to meet in the hotel bar at roughly 8-30 p.m. for a drink or two (or a drink of 6 in Arthurs case) and use their restaurant for dinner.


Seated at an 8-seater table in this order, Josey, Jenny, Lizzie and Katie and on the other side, Arthut, Richie, an empty seat, and then me (opposite Josey) and closest to the waitress. After hearing that half of what we wanted wasnt available (no fish ffs!!) we got our orders in. Me and Richie had ordered the same meal, so when one of them arrived with somebody elses dinner, I said to give it to Richie as he needed the food. Hes only half my size and weighs in at 9 stones soaking wet.

Ten minutes later everybody was eating heartily with just one exception - me. I had not received my dinner. This caused minor amusement among the rest of the party, except for Richie, who was taking no chances, and wolfed down what remained on his plate at the same rate of knots employed by the space shuttle as it leaves the atmosphere.

The waitress was most apologetic. Well, I think she was, I didnt understand half of what she said. Anyway, due to the error, Josey was pleased, even though my stomach was gnawing lumps out of my spine by the time it arrived, and I was in danger of wasting away, the meal was provided free of charge.

I should have ordered a giant steak.

Josey, his daughters and Katie retired for the night at about 11-00 p.m, leaving me Arthur and Richie spending half of our time chatting inside the bar and the other half chatting and smoking, outside in the car park.

Me and Richie went up at about midnight leaving Arthur out in the car park with a cigarette.

He sleeps less hours than I do.

Our room had single beds, rather than the double and single we had last year.

This was no problem for wee Richie, after a late

:)

I got up at 6-00 a.m. had a cuppa and a few biscuits, went to the shop for some milk for my WEETABIX, met Arthur outside at 6-20 a.m. where he spends most of the morning drinking coffee and smoking fags. I got back upstairs just after 7-00 a.m. when Richie stuck his head out from under the duvet and uttered the immortal phrase

:)

[i]Studyform, having been

panglima 22 Mar 15:02
THE INVISIBLE MAN AT OUR TABLE
Once we were all sorted, Arthur and Katie on the 3rd floor, me and wee Richie (Katies brother) on the 4th floor, Josey Wales on the 7th floor, and 2 of Joseys daughters, on an unknown floor,
============================
Josey knows not to trust TGM ... :^0

or should I say ..Big Charlie :-)

With no phone call to his room or asking me for ID, she gave me a spare card to his room.
--------------------------------------------
I took my hand off her jugular and let her slide the 3 feet down the wall to the floor . :-)

I'm beginning to wonder if you did me a favour JJ ;)

A couple of genuine LOL moments there :^0

Morning Mike. Study had £2.50 e/w on a 33/1 winner with me on the grounds that he was miles ahead in the placepot comp. and was therefore playing with your money.

I therefore blame YOU for the fact that I done my bollix on the race. :^0

Oi. it was 25/1 and I only got 20's

:)

and £1 each way ..rest at SP :-)

Kunti, Clothes Shops - Ladies in West Bromwich B70 6NY, » Yell.com
Kunti in West Bromwich B70 6NY - map and local business listing. Find Clothes Shops - Ladies in West Bromwich with Yell.com.
http://www.yell.com/b/Kunti-Clothes+Shops+_+Ladies-West+Brom... Similar Pages

whens part 3 due?

Are you looking for appearance money Tel? :D

a very very small percentage of the profits would suffice paddy :-)

This would make a good film :)

Timothy Spall playing Josey Wales
Ray Winston playing TGM
Bob Hoskins playing Study
Alex Norton (DCI Burke from Taggart) playing Arthur
Emma Bunton & Denise Van Outen playing Joseys daughters

'Ray Winston'? Presumably because Charles Hawtrey is unavailable?

George Frederick Joffre Hartree (30 November 1914 27 October 1988), known as Charles Hawtrey,

Dead so couldn't be considered

George Frederick Joffre Hartree

Was that his real name? No wonder he was one of them.

One of my favourite lines in the latest series of The Thick of It, was Malcolm saying 'Aye, he was banging away like Charles Hawtrey on a sleeping Guardsman'.

:)

The Hand Of GOG 23 Mar 19:06
whens part 3 due?

there's more ?

Hopefully

it's that panglima chaps fault, he's probably over upton park watching his team get slaughtered

That I dont know the pc iss turned off till tomorrow so cannot access e-mails till I get to work, that could be it or there could be another half a dozen parts !

Oh you !

ARTHURS JOKE

Back at the hotel Arthur regaled us with a joke told last year, so Ill try to get it right this time.

Back in the 1970s a Rod Stewart fan went into a barbers in Glasgow and asked for a

Wednesday morning

Up at 6-15 a.m. I was in the mood for tea and biscuits as usual, then downstairs for a cigar, where Arthur was already strolling about in a cloud of smoke.

One of the hotel cleaners was a likeable Jamaican bloke. He had a yellow sign stating

Baggers 23 Mar 21:33
----------------------------------------
How Right that is
:^0 :^0

He was given immediate reinstatement when he promised that he wouldnt wear the parrot shirt any more that week.

:^0

found identical thread on the 'other place'.

this is the next bit - no more posted yet. :)

A word on OCDs . Studying OCDs is my OCD

I used to study these in people a long time ago for comedy purposes, and still do it now, even though I dont particularly want to. I assume I have more than one, but have no idea what the others are.

I can do Arthur quite well. In mid-conversation while sitting on a stool he will quickly lick the end of either thumb and throw his arms out sideways.

If hes seated at a table, he will rest his right elbow on the table and use his index finger in elaborate gestures while speaking, and when the final line arrives (as these are generally tales of bookies and are quite funny) he will give a Glasgow grimace, raise both eyebrows, and look both ways before delivering it.

You always know when youre in a bar with Josey Wales, even if hes not at the table. There will be a small pile of paper by his drink,. His OCD is to peel the labels from the bottles and roll the pieces up. When the beer is totally consumed, the paper balls go into the bottle.

I bet they love him in the bottlewash plant.

any more panglima ?
nothing new in the 'other place' yet

I havent checked my e-mails yet will get on the main pc around 10 o clock I reckon !
Kids :(

:^0

Sorry it will have to be tomorrow now :(

plundered from the other place

buy your kids their own computer imo :)

Thursday morning I felt lazy and never got up until 6-45 a.m

Normal procedure followed.

I was drinking a cuppa when the voice from under the duvet came

Just as well Winky I have had no mail from Chaz

I've seen Tommy say that he has problems with emails.

ok
If you go to the other place just put it over here
thanks Winky

:D

from 'over there'

JOSEY WALES GAVE ME ONE OF MY CHAIRS BACK
The Glimmer Man Today at 12:04 pm

I had one of the two chairs on course that Josey nicked last year . As I was doing the payout with Jenny and the floor out the front on my own, with no tic -tac and mobiles rendered useless by the noise of the crowd and loudspeakers, the only respite my dodgy knee got was while a race was on. But the chair was pretty low and there was nothing to hold onto to support my weight as I lowered myself into it. The last few inches were a

Great stuff!

Nothing new been added yet today, Tommy.

excellent :)



I took the blame :D

During the afternoon one youngish punter had a draw on three consecutive races, and said he had to win to get to the payout queue to see

Re: JOSEY WALES GAVE ME ONE OF MY CHAIRS BACK
The Glimmer Man Yesterday at 12:47 pm

The non-racing highlight of the day was two policemen taking a drunk from the beer tent past the row of bookies. He was**over and had both arms firmly locked by the arresting constables. One drunken race-goer, probably one of his mates, who was following, was just about to launch himself at the police from behind when a security guards (it has Event Staff - here to help you

JOSEY WALES GAVE ME ONE OF MY CHAIRS BACK
The Glimmer Man Today at 1:15 am

Friday

Up at 5-50 a.m. , a quick cuppa and outside for a cigar.

For a few minutes I thought Arthur

Off to the course at 8-30, not much traffic for Gold Cup day, and in the car park well before 10-00 a.m.

Arthur wasnt pleased when he told us that the smoke alarm in his room didnt work as he had tested it by blowing fag smoke at it, and nothing happened. He had been out at night in the cold with us instead of stretched out on the bed with a ciggie.

The dead chair was still there as nobody had nicked it, so it went into a dustbin and the second chair that Josey nicked last year came out of its bag. It survived the afternoons rigours.

People who were supposed to turn up this week were Lozzy (who was in Tatts for 4 days), GT, Fenway , Dragon and his wife, and Studyforms mate, Paulie Walnuts.

PW was the only one to show in the BM Enclosure, and you can tell hes mate of Studys.

He was wearing a green, white and orange and white wig. As is obvious, hes Irish., and noticeable, as he must be 6-4 at least.

I was out front watching 5 books before the first race, and got chatting to two scousers who were down on a coach trip. They asked what was bring backed and I said that Id been out here for over two hours and the only real mover was Barizan, which had gone from 25s into 16s. They said theyd have an each way bet on it. He led and was clear at the 4th, and was still 15 lengths in front two out when he faltered , galloped on and 5 clear at the last, but with his tongue lolling out he ran out of steam on the run in and got caught by Soldatino.

At some stage during the afternoon a bloke was walking by with a camera when he stopped to take a few photos of Lizzie, who was sporting her favourite hat. Some bloke had already asked for the hat but she said

JOSEY WALES GAVE ME ONE OF MY CHAIRS BACK
The Glimmer Man Today at 1:19 am

As for that CHELTENHAM song, nobody where we were joined in, and apparently nobody else did much on other parts of the course when it came over the tannoy system three times a day.

Heres my version :

When youre alone
and the wife is nagging you daily
you can always go
to CHELTENHAM

forget all your worries
just grab the rent money
and off you go to CHELTENHAM

Just listen to the roaring crowd
as they get under way
no one else will give a feck
no matter what you say

but when you lose

A great read - and a brilliant song!

6'2".. It's a big wig

:)

a pleasing read.

Blimey Chaz has been busy !

Paulie Walnuts 29 Mar 13:22
6'2".. It's a big wig

:^0

where is charlie ?

banned

JOSEY WALES GAVE ME ONE OF MY CHAIRS BACK
The Glimmer Man Today at 3:24 pm

I forgot to say that Terry (Gogoidle) turned up on a brief visit from Tatts where he was working.

Tel, there's no appearance money for this mention. :)

There's also something I forgot but I'm **ed if I know whatis it now.

I knew it last night but never wrote it down, and now it's gone, like tears in the rain.

.

######hold######

Very funny!
I wonder if Big Charlie ever remembered what it was?

I was trying find something to resurrect with 25th May on it, and stopped at this.
Why do posts suddenly stop mid-sentence?