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Four days in the life & work of Big Charlie
here's episode one
JOSEY WALES GAVE ME BACK ONE OF MY CHAIRS
For those who never read last years episodes, Josey nicked two of my chairs, and my chocolate.
I arrived at the designated hotel at 6-40 p.m. on Monday. There are 9 allocated parking spaces on either side of the entrance,. which is a tad short of the correct number required for a 10 storey building and 4 of the 9 available car spaces are for disabled drivers only. But the hotel only own (or rent) about 5 floors, all the other floors belong to companies who share the building and have their own car park. The fact that they have about 20 cars spread over 50 places doesnt stop then erecting signs that cars parked in their spaces between 7-30 a.m. and 5-30 p.m. will be clamped.
This isnt much good for cars laden with all the gear you have to lug in and out every day for the racecourse, as the only other available space is in an underground car park, with no lift to the hotel reception area, but a rather steep set of unlit stone stairs.
There is one space outside with the word
here's episode one
JOSEY WALES GAVE ME BACK ONE OF MY CHAIRS
For those who never read last years episodes, Josey nicked two of my chairs, and my chocolate.
I arrived at the designated hotel at 6-40 p.m. on Monday. There are 9 allocated parking spaces on either side of the entrance,. which is a tad short of the correct number required for a 10 storey building and 4 of the 9 available car spaces are for disabled drivers only. But the hotel only own (or rent) about 5 floors, all the other floors belong to companies who share the building and have their own car park. The fact that they have about 20 cars spread over 50 places doesnt stop then erecting signs that cars parked in their spaces between 7-30 a.m. and 5-30 p.m. will be clamped.
This isnt much good for cars laden with all the gear you have to lug in and out every day for the racecourse, as the only other available space is in an underground car park, with no lift to the hotel reception area, but a rather steep set of unlit stone stairs.
There is one space outside with the word
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THE INVISIBLE MAN AT OUR TABLE
Once we were all sorted, Arthur and Katie on the 3rd floor, me and wee Richie (Katies brother) on the 4th floor, Josey Wales on the 7th floor, and 2 of Joseys daughters, on an unknown floor, we agreed to meet in the hotel bar at roughly 8-30 p.m. for a drink or two (or a drink of 6 in Arthurs case) and use their restaurant for dinner. Seated at an 8-seater table in this order, Josey, Jenny, Lizzie and Katie and on the other side, Arthut, Richie, an empty seat, and then me (opposite Josey) and closest to the waitress. After hearing that half of what we wanted wasnt available (no fish ffs!!) we got our orders in. Me and Richie had ordered the same meal, so when one of them arrived with somebody elses dinner, I said to give it to Richie as he needed the food. Hes only half my size and weighs in at 9 stones soaking wet. Ten minutes later everybody was eating heartily with just one exception - me. I had not received my dinner. This caused minor amusement among the rest of the party, except for Richie, who was taking no chances, and wolfed down what remained on his plate at the same rate of knots employed by the space shuttle as it leaves the atmosphere. The waitress was most apologetic. Well, I think she was, I didnt understand half of what she said. Anyway, due to the error, Josey was pleased, even though my stomach was gnawing lumps out of my spine by the time it arrived, and I was in danger of wasting away, the meal was provided free of charge. I should have ordered a giant steak. Josey, his daughters and Katie retired for the night at about 11-00 p.m, leaving me Arthur and Richie spending half of our time chatting inside the bar and the other half chatting and smoking, outside in the car park. Me and Richie went up at about midnight leaving Arthur out in the car park with a cigarette. He sleeps less hours than I do. Our room had single beds, rather than the double and single we had last year. This was no problem for wee Richie, after a late |
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:)
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I got up at 6-00 a.m. had a cuppa and a few biscuits, went to the shop for some milk for my WEETABIX, met Arthur outside at 6-20 a.m. where he spends most of the morning drinking coffee and smoking fags. I got back upstairs just after 7-00 a.m. when Richie stuck his head out from under the duvet and uttered the immortal phrase
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:)
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[i]Studyform, having been
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panglima 22 Mar 15:02
THE INVISIBLE MAN AT OUR TABLE Once we were all sorted, Arthur and Katie on the 3rd floor, me and wee Richie (Katies brother) on the 4th floor, Josey Wales on the 7th floor, and 2 of Joseys daughters, on an unknown floor, ============================ Josey knows not to trust TGM ... :^0 |
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or should I say ..Big Charlie :-)
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With no phone call to his room or asking me for ID, she gave me a spare card to his room.
-------------------------------------------- I took my hand off her jugular and let her slide the 3 feet down the wall to the floor . :-) |
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I'm beginning to wonder if you did me a favour JJ ;)
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A couple of genuine LOL moments there :^0
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Morning Mike. Study had £2.50 e/w on a 33/1 winner with me on the grounds that he was miles ahead in the placepot comp. and was therefore playing with your money.
I therefore blame YOU for the fact that I done my bollix on the race. :^0 |
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Oi. it was 25/1 and I only got 20's
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:)
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and £1 each way ..rest at SP :-)
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Kunti, Clothes Shops - Ladies in West Bromwich B70 6NY, » Yell.com
Kunti in West Bromwich B70 6NY - map and local business listing. Find Clothes Shops - Ladies in West Bromwich with Yell.com. http://www.yell.com/b/Kunti-Clothes+Shops+_+Ladies-West+Brom... Similar Pages |
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whens part 3 due?
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Are you looking for appearance money Tel? :D
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a very very small percentage of the profits would suffice paddy :-)
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This would make a good film :)
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Timothy Spall playing Josey Wales
Ray Winston playing TGM Bob Hoskins playing Study Alex Norton (DCI Burke from Taggart) playing Arthur Emma Bunton & Denise Van Outen playing Joseys daughters |
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'Ray Winston'? Presumably because Charles Hawtrey is unavailable?
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George Frederick Joffre Hartree (30 November 1914 27 October 1988), known as Charles Hawtrey,
Dead so couldn't be considered |
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George Frederick Joffre Hartree
Was that his real name? No wonder he was one of them. |
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One of my favourite lines in the latest series of The Thick of It, was Malcolm saying 'Aye, he was banging away like Charles Hawtrey on a sleeping Guardsman'.
:) |
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The Hand Of GOG 23 Mar 19:06
whens part 3 due? there's more ? |
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Hopefully
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it's that panglima chaps fault, he's probably over upton park watching his team get slaughtered
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That I dont know the pc iss turned off till tomorrow so cannot access e-mails till I get to work, that could be it or there could be another half a dozen parts !
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Oh you !
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ARTHURS JOKE
Back at the hotel Arthur regaled us with a joke told last year, so Ill try to get it right this time. Back in the 1970s a Rod Stewart fan went into a barbers in Glasgow and asked for a |
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Wednesday morning
Up at 6-15 a.m. I was in the mood for tea and biscuits as usual, then downstairs for a cigar, where Arthur was already strolling about in a cloud of smoke. One of the hotel cleaners was a likeable Jamaican bloke. He had a yellow sign stating |
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Baggers 23 Mar 21:33
---------------------------------------- How Right that is :^0 :^0 |
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He was given immediate reinstatement when he promised that he wouldnt wear the parrot shirt any more that week.
:^0 |
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found identical thread on the 'other place'.
this is the next bit - no more posted yet. :) A word on OCDs . Studying OCDs is my OCD I used to study these in people a long time ago for comedy purposes, and still do it now, even though I dont particularly want to. I assume I have more than one, but have no idea what the others are. I can do Arthur quite well. In mid-conversation while sitting on a stool he will quickly lick the end of either thumb and throw his arms out sideways. If hes seated at a table, he will rest his right elbow on the table and use his index finger in elaborate gestures while speaking, and when the final line arrives (as these are generally tales of bookies and are quite funny) he will give a Glasgow grimace, raise both eyebrows, and look both ways before delivering it. You always know when youre in a bar with Josey Wales, even if hes not at the table. There will be a small pile of paper by his drink,. His OCD is to peel the labels from the bottles and roll the pieces up. When the beer is totally consumed, the paper balls go into the bottle. I bet they love him in the bottlewash plant. |
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any more panglima ?
nothing new in the 'other place' yet |
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I havent checked my e-mails yet will get on the main pc around 10 o clock I reckon !
Kids :( |
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:^0
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Sorry it will have to be tomorrow now :(
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plundered from the other place
buy your kids their own computer imo :) Thursday morning I felt lazy and never got up until 6-45 a.m Normal procedure followed. I was drinking a cuppa when the voice from under the duvet came |