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slapping the wife on the right arse cheek, they love it on there but it didnt go down well in my bedroom, never realised my hands were so big till saw the red mark next day, ooooops!
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Replies: 41
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a new low...
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Was in a hotel in Prague, the Hilton, I had the porn on, I had a**, cun all over myself but was**ed and never cleaned up, I was woken up with a jack on - still naked with the porn still on - by the maid, she did apparantly knock a few times before letting herself in. prolly the second most embarrasing experience of my life !!
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second.......................
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lol, quality
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ffs what was the first...
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Curling down a brown trout onto Mrs.Q's chebs whilst speaking German.
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omg, lol
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I once shat on a coffee table, my auntie wasn't that impressed.
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(Joke,btw)
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oh this thread is starting to go down a slppery slope
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Howdi 06 Feb 20:23
ffs what was the first... Very embarassing but on a similar level, if you really want to know I guess I will spill but I dont want too. |
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I guess I will spill but I dont want too.
You budvared on someones chebbs??? |
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I worked for a car hire company, I turned from car washed to director, left there now was about 2000-2003, anyway was a sat morning and we close up at 12am, so I locked up and closed all the doors, I was there on my own and my desk at the time was facing the back wall, this was in the day that porn had just really started on the internet, anyway, I was there bashing on off, when a customers mother walked in (I had headphones on) she must have been there for a minute or two while I**ed it all out, It was most embarrasing, she never told the boss and I only ever confided in one person.
quite terrible, but also a great fantasy of mine, but this lady was 60+ :( will never forget it, very time I see a post like this, it brings back those memories |
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:^0
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Christ, surely gettin busted the first time should have made you more cautious?
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So if you hadn't decided to cough up some muller rice after work, you would have unwittingly locked Nana in the car showroom until Monday?
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the main doors was locked but there is a side door I leave from to lock from outside, only certain people know about it, hence why she got in, anyone else would have realised it was closed, her son was a friend of the boss and owed money, she just came to pay it off, maybe she was goign to drop it through the letterbox which was on the side door, but saw it was open so came in, I had to chase after her while doing my rtrousers up still having a jackon that would not go down
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Enduring image. :0
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i've never heard of an erection called a jack on
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I was thinking about telling the truth but I see thats not the done thing in here so I'll see you all later
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tell us about the horse guitarist ....dont go
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it was a pony actually..
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I admire your honesty Vamos! Thanks for sharing that with us. You're a good guy. :)
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Apparently the ear is not an appropriate orafice in which to ejaculate.
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Try doing it on your gf's foot, their instinct is to jump up and run to the bathroom, then they slip over
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foot**s are hot imo.
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Vamos-mi-Sevilla 06 Feb 20:38
I worked for a car hire company, I turned from car washed to director, left there now was about 2000-2003, anyway was a sat morning and we close up at 12am, so I locked up and closed all the doors, I was there on my own and my desk at the time was facing the back wall, this was in the day that porn had just really started on the internet, anyway, I was there bashing on off, when a customers mother walked in (I had headphones on) she must have been there for a minute or two while I**ed it all out, It was most embarrasing, she never told the boss and I only ever confided in one person. quite terrible, but also a great fantasy of mine, but this lady was 60+ :( will never forget it, very time I see a post like this, it brings back those memories :D one of the funniest posts ive ever read |
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Vamos-mi-Sevilla 06 Feb 20:22
Was in a hotel in Prague, the Hilton, I had the porn on, I had a ****, cun all over myself but was ****** and never cleaned up, I was woken up with a jack on - still naked with the porn still on - by the maid, she did apparantly knock a few times before letting herself in. prolly the second most embarrasing experience of my life !! :D the 2nd funniest posts ive evr read |
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:^0
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starfish and coffee 07 Feb 02:47
Try doing it on your gf's foot, their instinct is to jump up and run to the bathroom, then they slip over Unless they're a fellow starfish, in which case they ask why you picked that particular foot. |
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ttt vamos,one of llifes people who tells it how it is.
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or one of life's pathetic fantasists
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This is a story of a friend of mine. Not me!
Friends mother goes out shopping etc so he takes the opportunity to put a porn video on. He's also a little hungry and so gets himself some cornflakes. Sits down in the living room watching the video, (ock in one hand whilst eating his breakfast with the other. Mother walks back into the room having forgotten something. |
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DaveEdwards 07 Feb 11:13
This is a story of a friend of mine. Not me! It was you, wasn't it? :) |
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lol
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lol
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rookie mistake dave - ALWAYS allow a suitable time in case the female has forgotten something...
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Haha. Thought there would be a few replies like that, but I can assure you lot that it wasn't me.
He also had another story of how he knocked one out whilst in bed and had nowhere for it to go and so caught it all in his hand. No sooner had this been done than his sister knocked on the door and came in to discuss the presents that they were going to buy for the mothers birthday or something. He had to keep his hand cupped under the duvet during the conversation trying to ensure that there was no leaking. |
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Actually here is one from me.
Used to go out with a girl when I was a student who was a staunch feminist. I had a mag under the mattress. Club International if I remember correctly. Anyway we are just about to get into bed and there was a few biscuit crumbs on the bed. I lift the mattress and brushed the crumbs down the back of the bed thereby exposing the magazine. It all went downhill from there. It must have got her going on some level or another and we ended up using the tradesmans two times on the trot in quick succession. When I pulled out after the second time a mixture closely resembling chocolate milkshake came out too all over my sheets. She never let me do that to her again! |