favourite half man half biscuit line

Are DC10s famed for crashing? If so, I think that the line is a bit off :(

yes...

i thought it was funny

Time flies by when you're the driver of a train,
Speeding out of Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine.
Under bridges, over bridges, to our destination.
Careful with that spliff, Eugene, it causes condensation.


mate used to love this when we were about 15.
i always thought they were shyte.
he was a massive fan so there are at least 2 of you :)

ONCE YOUVE BEEN WITH ONE GINGER BREAD MAN YOUVE BEEN WITH THEM ALL

God I could murder a Cadburys Flake
'Cos their adverts promote Oral Sex

I MIGHT NOT BE A REAL MAN BUT I TASTE NICE

IVE FIISHED WITH YOU ITS OVER BUT CAN I STILL DUNK YOU

And after only five minutes, you were down to ten men, cos he'd sent off your right back for taking the base from his left winger,
Come to half time, you'd be losing four nil, each and every goal, a hotly disputed penalty...

My girlfriend looks like Peggy Mount

What am I supposed to do

I'm up the creek

And nevermind the paddle boy

I haven't even got a cannoe

"If Jesus came to Earth today
Theyd crucify him straight away
Upon a cross of MDF
And theyd use No Need For Nails"

You can lead a horse to water
But a pencil must be lead, mate

Everybody's doing the Len Ganley stance

You said youd found me helpless on the A47
Shouting at the passers by that Alan Brazil
Seems to be the singer in the Goombay Dance Band
And now you want to put me in the ambulance
But I dont want to go in the ambulance.

http://www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/

God gave us life god gave us life so that we all could take sweets from strange men in big cars and get driven to the woods to see imaginary puppys

And you can thank your lucky stars that you're not
The ba5tard son of Dean Friedman,

Oh I was walking round my local store
Searching for the ten pence off Lenor
When suddenly I bumped into this guy
On seeing who it was I gave a cry

Mildly surprised Titmus got through :D

Walking around my local store searching for the 10p of lenor.

In one they sum up the people of this nation

Mention the Lord of the Rings one more time & I'll more than likely kill you

they go to one day cricket in fancy dress...

We sat and decided as the seasons collided that our love was fairly utopian
If it wasn't for my pills, my psychiatric pills and your unreliable fallopian

They mocked me in my mocks
And embroidered in my socks
The barstard son of Dean Friedman

If only youd give me my Lev Yashin poster back
six months ago i returned your brown anorak
but you keep forgetting
and its far too upsetting
so baby Ferenc Puskas to you, to you
Baby Ferenc Puskas to you
(with boots on)

Nero fiddles while Gordon Burns
In his Joy Division oven gloves

"I'm off to see the Bootleg Beatles; as the bootleg Mark Chapman." End of discussion.

I didnt take much time convincing her
Baby, Im from the Wirral peninsula
A merciless despot, with nothing to lose
In my Dick Quax running shoes

;)

Their knickers are made of crepe-de-chine, their shoes are made of python,
Their halls are lined with tiger rugs and their walls with head of bison.

When you walk through a storm,
You get wet.

No draft
'Cos that'd be daft
A feather acknowledges Newton
And a ball and chain
Let loose on the pane
Can only smash your nerves

In the hibernating season
Pick the best
It stands to reason
No complaing
When it's raining
Thanks to Mr Moult.

(Wey-hey)

the nauseating bashfulness of early Diana, makes me want to set fire to commemorative tea towels

"to the tune of he's got the whole world in his hands"

they got a german shepherd, his name is prince

they got a german shepherd, his name is prince

they got a german shepherd, his name is prince

the one called sheba died!

classic line form painballs coming home...

a song about the majority of of th uk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxR0JY-FMh8

i heard a lovely rumour that bett middler had a tumour
so gleefully i went to tell my friends

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE_CUkUeWk8

Theyve got the whole world in their house
Theyve got the whole wide world in their house
Theyve got the whole world in their house
To see the new conservatory

They didnt choose their cat, their cat chose them
They didnt choose their cat, their cat chose them
They didnt choose their cat, their cat chose them
And what do you know its got its own website

They made some real good friends on Henman Hill
They made some real good friends on Henman Hill
They made some good friends on Henman Hill
And now they all meet up for boxercise

They buy soup in cartons, not in tins
They buy soup in cartons, not in tins
They buy soup in cartons, not in tins
And keep a torch in the back of their car

They go to one-day cricket in fancy dress
They go to one-day cricket in fancy dress
They go to one-day cricket in fancy dress
And choose the pub thats got the ball pond for the kids

They treat the Mercury Music Prize with awe
They treat the Mercury Music Prize with awe
They treat the Mercury Music Prize with awe
Obviously thats just jealousy on my part

They seem to think its a really good idea
They seem to think its a really good idea
They seem to think its a really good idea
To hire a stretch limousine

He gets over-emotional when hes drunk
He gets all too emotional when hes drunk
He gets over-emotional when hes drunk
And says

A mistake has been made
Its a fact they cant hide
Though Im partly to blame, it cannot be denied
There aint no use defending
It seems Ive been tending
The wrong grave for 23 years

A letter dropped onto my doormat one day
And I thought:

Theyve got the whole world in their house
Theyve got the whole wide world in their house
Theyve got the whole world in their house
To see the new conservatory

They go ten pin bowling after work
They go ten pin bowling after work
They go ten pin bowling after work
And theyre getting married on a Caribbean beach

Theyve got a German shepherd dog called Prince
Theyve got a German shepherd dog called Prince
Theyve got a German shepherd dog called Prince
The one called Sheba died

They know where things are in B&Q
They know where things are in B&Q
They know where things are in B&Q
And theyve got The Joy Of Sex video

If I were a linesman
I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides

They were due on the Crystal Maze
Yeah, they were due to go on the Crystal Maze
Yeah, they were due on the Crystal Maze
But they got mugged in Florida

They went up in a hot air balloon
They declared their love in a hot air balloon
Yeah, they drank champagne in a hot air balloon
And had a row on New Years Eve

Theyve got nothing but total respect for
Theyve got nothing but total respect for
Theyve got nothing but total respect for
Annie Lennox

And if Id known they were coming, Id have slashed me wrists

Note there have been many live variations on the song, the most well-known being this one, recorded for a BBC Session in 2004:

Theyve got the whole world in their house
Theyve got the whole wide world in their house
Theyve got the whole world in their house
To see the new conservatory

A doyen of Topiary once told me,
That one day he would like to grow a maze,
It seemed to be quite logical
That this should be his wish.
And with that
We both went our separate ways.

Oh darling sugar honey
when it was nice and sunny
and when we had some money
we could go and see Echo and the Bunny............men

Like a game-bird reserve short on pheasants,
weavers cottages devoid of tenants,
a market town
that lacks quintessence,
that's Chatteris without your presence...

Shes the main man in the office in the city
And she treats me like Im just another lackey
But I can put a tennis racket up against my face
And pretend that I am Kendo Nagasaki

Unemployments rising in the Chigley end of town
And its spreading like pneumonia
Doesnt look like going down
Theres trouble at the fire station someones had the sack
And the lads are going to launch a scheme get rid of Captain Flack

Tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate
And arm themselves with CS gas
Theyre gonna be out late
Weve had Cant conformism since 1966
And now subversions in the air in the shape of flying bricks

Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That theyd better start assembling the boys from the fort
And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight

'Cafe bars, idiots and pigeons,
there's far too many in this town'