SCIENTIFIC Diet - With Added SCIENCE.

add some broccoli and carrots and you have a good meal on your hands

Your body knows best!!!

Hello Vel!
I saw for the first time on Stoke telly today ...an advert for Tunnock's Caramel Wafers.
I hope Bodil gets to see it!

Stoke telly?

In a recent issue of National Geographic they rated all foodstuffs from 1 to 100.

The only two to achieve the mazimum healthy ranking of 100 were blueberries and broccoli. Tomatoes scored 99.

Well, you know what I mean Sparky!
Adverts seem to be different in different parts of the country and I've never seen one for Tunnock's here before.

Tommy, I've had to ditch the Tunnock's wafers as they cannot be justified on a SCIENTIFIC basis.

At last, they have reached Stoke's telly, though - Scotland's cultural impact is indeed MASSIVE.

And a popsicle merited a score of just 1. I was quite surprised at this as it's mostly water.

Pokermonster - who rated the foods? Timeform?

Usual daily fat intake is over 80g for a man. There's evidence this should be under 20g. High fat diet causes much more adverse health effects than diabetes and heart disease. It' even contributes to schizophrenia and Alzheimer's.

I take 5g a day of highly purifed cod liver oil and use olive oil for frying and sprinkling on salads. Saturated fats and trans fats are worst for health.

Bake as much food as you can in the oven. This preserves micronutrients.

Wur, is that the extra strength cod liver oil? It's 3 times stronger than the normal oil.

Velasquez 26 Jan 19:42
Pokermonster - who rated the foods? Timeform?

Bran - Unruly at start.Behind early.Stayed on strongly close home.Just Failed.

My god, Tommy, we agree on something. I love tunnocks caramel wafers but they always come in packs of five and a woman must watch her figure, or men won't watch her!

Tunnocks also do snowballs and those marshmellow things, also, alas in packs of 4 and 6.

LOL at Gene - got some good runs from Bran.

Velasquez 26 Jan 19:45
Wur, is that the extra strength cod liver oil? It's 3 times stronger than the normal oil.



No, it's cod liver oil with impurities removed, like mercury, PCBs and dioxins, which accumulate in fat. I get mine online from a company called 'Higher Nature'.

Does this mean you don't trust SEVEN SEAS...????

I've just found that National Geographic list of food ratings.

I see I have slightly over marked the humble tomato. Sorry about that.

Broccoli-100
Blueberries-100
Orange-100
Green beans-100
Pineapple-99
Radish-99
Summer squash-98
Apple-96
Green cabbage-96
Tomato-96
Clementine-94
Watermelon-94
Mango-93
Nonfat milk-91
Fresh figs-91
Grapes-91
Banana-91
Avocado-89
Oatmeal-88
Blackberries-83
Sockeye salmon-82
Raw almonds-82
Raw pecans-82
Arugula-82
Brown rice-82
Snapper-82
Milk (1% fat)-81
Shrimp-75
Couscous-72
Raw pistachios-70
Unbuttered unsalted popcorn-69
Canned tuna in oil, drained-67
Vegetarian split-pea soup mix-63
Instant oatmeal-61
Canned pineapple packed in juice-60
White rice-57
Sodium-free club soda-56
Milk (2% fat)-55
Canned kidney beans-53
Milk (whole)-52
Scallops-51
Pasta-50
Canned peas-49
Prunes-45
NY strip steak-44
Vanilla yogurt-43
Orange juice-39
Skinless chicken breasts-39
Canned peaches in light syrup-37
Lobster-36
Dried apples-34
Tomato juice-32
Condensed split-pea soup with ham-32
Enriched white bread-29
Whole chicken with skin-28
Raisins-26
Hamburger (75% lean)-25
Apple *****24
Green olives-24
Bagel-23
Condensed tomato soup-23
Peanut butter-23
Sherbet-23
Reduced-fat sour cream-22
Condensed cream of broccoli soup-21
Salted, dry-roasted peanuts-21
Instant chocolate pudding-20
Fried egg-19, Swiss cheese-17
Diet soda-15
Center-cut bacon-13
Pretzel sticks-11
Dark chocolate-10
White bread-9
Salami-7
Hot dog-5
Cheese puffs-4
Milk chocolate-3
Apple pie-2
Reg. cut bacon-2
Saltine crackers-2
Soda-1
Popsicle-1

If anyone wants to see it...

100 Broccoli
100 Blueberries
100 Orange
100 Green Beans (Oh, good, we just got some from our neighbor!)
99 Pineapple
99 Radish
98 Summer Squash
96 Apple
96 Green Cabbage
96 Tomato
94 Clementine
94 Watermelon
93 Mango
91 Nonfat milk
91 Fresh figs
91 Grapes
91 Banana
89 Avocado
88 Oatmeal
83 Blackberries
82 Sockeye Salmon
82 Raw almonds
82 Raw Pecans
82 Arugula
82 Brown Rice
82 Snapper
81 1% milk (good, this is the kind we buy!)
75 Shrimp
72 Couscous
70 Raw Pistachios
69 Unbuttered, unsalted popcorn (we eat a lot of unbuttered popcorn, but unsalted? that might be hard!)
67 Canned tuna, in oil, drained (that oil surprised me too!)
63 Vegetarian split pea soup mix (oh, yum...just kidding!)
61 Instant oatmeal
60 Canned pineapple packed in juice
57 White rice
55 2% milk
53 Canned kidney beans
52 Whole milk
51 Scallops
50 Pasta (it doesn't say whole grain, which is what we buy, I'm assuming it's normal pasta)
49 Canned peas
45 Prunes
44 NY Strip Steak
43 Vanilla yogurt
39 Orange juice (this is surprising!)
39 Skinless Chicken Breasts (not as healthy as people think)
37 Canned peaches in light syrup
36 Lobster
34 Dried apples
32 Tomato juice
32 Condensed split pea soup with ham (what is it with the peas?)
29 Enriched white bread
28 Whole chicken with skin
26 Raisins (my kids love these, surprising they are low, I thought they were healthy!)
25 Hamburger -75%lean (extra lean has to be much better, right?)
24 Apple *****
24 Green olives
23 Bagel (my hubby is disappointed in this one!)
23 Condensed tomato soup
23 Peanut Butter (not as bad as I thought)
23 Sherbet
22 Reduced fat sour cream (might as well go for the regular if the reduced fat is this low)
21 Condensed cream of broccoli soup
21 Salted dry roasted peanuts
20 Instant chocolate pudding
18 Fried egg
17 Swiss cheese
15 Diet soda (hey, it fares better than the sugar soda)
13 Center cut bacon
11 Pretzel Sticks (they are not as healthy as people think they are!)
10 Dark Chocolate (also not as healthy as people think, darn!)
9 White bread
7 Salami
5 Hot dog
4 Cheese puffs (did anyone think these were healthy?)
3 Milk Chocolate (that's why people think dark chocolate is healthy, it's better than milk chocolate!)
2 Apple pie
2 Reg. cut bacon
2 Saltine crackers (wow, that's too bad)
1 Soda (sugar)
1 Popsicle

lol PM!

Definitely not. I get a bad reaction to unpurified fish oil. I ought to have said 'fish oil' rather than 'cod liver oil' in previous posts. I get a bad depressive reaction to unpurified oil, but that's probably a personal idiosyncrasy.

Your list is a little neater than mine Sparky, so we can excuse your tardiness on this occasion sir. :)

Two great and tremendous men, working together like mongeeses in a hessian sack with a cobra in it.

Apple 96
Apple Pie 2

That's a bit of a shocker.

Couscous 72 Pasta 50...eh?

Where are the spuds?!

Interesting, but I think it's wrong to think of foods as 'good or bad' - it's too simplistic.

More relevant is the system - i.e. body - that they're going into. For example if all you've eaten all day is the #100 fruit and vegetables then a sausage is actually good for you as it will provide fat and protein that your body needs.

The stupid thing is you don't really need a diet plan or to do much reading on what's good for you to lose weight/be healthy, you probably already know. i.e. eats lots of fruit and veg and go easy on fatty and sugary foods. If you eat lots of the former you won't need much of the latter.

Add in a bit more exercise than normal and stick with it and you'll lose half a stone in 3 or 4 weeks without much effort at all.

I don't know Tom. That's a bit of an oversight isn't it!

Good points from Slipperynipple.

Obviously it wasn't an Irishman who compiled the list...Guinness isn't on it either.

Guinness is proabably 101 and it didn't fit on the coupon.

What if Hoss is right? What if your body really does know what's best?

Then this can of Crest Super 10% lager is the best thing I've ever done!

One's body is easily deceived Velasquez. If it wasn't kebab sales would fall through the floor.

as opposed to on the floor, which is common.

True Sparky. :)

I should have said it is the brain which is easily deceived, the body knows exactly what to do with a kebab.

It is indeed a grave oversight PM!

I reckon Hoss is right. I always listen to my body, subsequently, I don't put on weight and can eat anything I like.
I was pretty hung over today but my body was telling me it wanted chicken, stuffing and broccoli, with loads of gravy and a good dollop of vinegar - so that's what it had!

Tommy - apparently, Robert-0 Duran ball00ned up to 230 lbs after the first Sugar Ray fight, and Sugar Ray wanted a quick return to take advantage of this...hence, Robert-0's "no mas" humiliation in the ring...all because he listened to his body telling him to be a fat bast@rdo !

Ha ha, excellent, Vel!

Earlier today, people within about 50m had very little choice about listening to my body. And that wasn't the only sense they were exposed to!

WEETABIX

With a covering of grated PLARKOTEX

is the breakast of a MAN

THE 'YES' I DO LIST
100 Broccoli
100 Orange
100 Green Beans (Oh, good, we just got some from our neighbor!)
99 Pineapple
99 Radish
98 Summer Squash
96 Apple
96 Green Cabbage
96 Tomato
94 Clementine
94 Watermelon
93 Mango
91 Nonfat milk
91 Grapes
91 Banana
88 Oatmeal
83 Blackberries
82 Sockeye Salmon
82 Raw almonds
82 Raw Pecans
82 Brown Rice
81 1% milk
75 Shrimp
70 Raw Pistachios
67 Canned tuna, in oil, drained
60 Canned pineapple packed in juice
57 White rice
55 2% milk
49 Canned peas
39 Orange juice
39 Skinless Chicken Breasts
37 Canned peaches in light syrup
28 Whole chicken with skin
26 Raisins
23 Bagels
21 Salted dry roasted peanuts
20 Instant chocolate pudding
10 Dark Chocolate
9 White bread
3 Milk Chocolate
2 Apple pie
2 Reg. cut bacon


THE ' NO I DON'T' LIST
100 Blueberries
89 Avocado
82 Snapper
72 Couscous
69 Unbuttered, unsalted popcorn
63 Vegetarian split pea soup mix
61 Instant oatmeal
52 Whole milk
51 Scallops
44 NY Strip Steak
36 Lobster
34 Dried apples
32 Tomato juice
29 Enriched white bread
25 Hamburger
24 Apple *****

23 Condensed tomato soup
21 Condensed cream of broccoli soup
18 Fried egg
13 Center cut bacon
11 Pretzel Sticks
7 Salami
5 Hot dog


THE '[b]NOT IN A HUNDRED' YEARS LIST [/b]
91 Fresh figs
82 Arugula (as I have no idea what the fack it is)
53 Canned kidney beans
50 Pasta
45 Prunes
43 Vanilla yogurt
32 Condensed split pea soup with ham
24 Green olives
23 Peanut Butter
23 Sherbet
22 Reduced fat sour cream
17 Swiss cheese
15 Diet soda
4 Cheese puff
2 Saltine crackers
1 Soda
1 Popsicle

Hey, Big Charles - I was watching Tales of the Unexpected the other day, starring David Suchet and the gorgeous Nina Van Pallandt of Frederik and Nina fame, when...

...anyway, cor, that Nina Van Pallandt, lying in bed with her orange negligee, eh? Poirot is leaving her for an even more gorgeous young Gemma Redgrave...so he deci --

...anyway - cor - he was sticking his paw into a jar of 23-rated peanut butter while he drove this gorgeous young 99-rated Redgrave to his place of work, a construction site, in order to collect explosive so he could blow up 95-rated Nina Van Pallandt.

The name of the explosive was PLATREX.

I wondered, Big Charlie, even as I watched Poirot ogling the young lady (who was wearing black stockings and a short skirt while she sat in his Renault estate car) if you have ever mistakenly eaten a bowl of PLATREX instead of PLARKOTEX?

If so, what kind of stools did yer deposit?

I have never eaten PLATREX, mistakenly or otherwise.
This probably due to the fact that PLARKOTEX is luminous green while PLATREX is white.

Being white, it should never be confused with PLAYTEX, which is also white, as one lifts and separates, while the other blows you to bits.

So...this white woman you're talking about...let me get this straight...she lifted and separated it...then blew you to bits????

Strange the way it's called blow.

Get that stuff right out yer head, Big Charlie. We're here to purify yer mind and body through the power of a SCIENTIFIC diet.

Cabbage, brazil nuts, pumpkin, raisins........TOFU !

Great stuff Vel!

Yes, Tommy - great stuff indeed - cabbage, figs, bran - all great stuff - redcurrants, fresh ginger, cabbage, bran, garlic, olives, and the boots Charlie Chaplin ate when he was hallucinating.

But this Mediterranean Diet they speak of...it seems so unfair...how can we eat tomatoes and lovely salad when we're in a cold, northern wasteland and we fancy some white bread fried in lard and diesel?

Eventually we shall eat each-other AND ALL WILL BE WELL.

MARVELLOUS CALORIES SPARKY

You DISGUST me Bodil, d'ye hear? All these years and that's what you advocate? Some kind of CANNIBALISATION all across the nation?

Relax Vel, we've been eating each other for most of the lifetime of our species. And I seem to recall the Roman Catholic religion has us eating the body and drinking the blood of its own dear god. Not eating ourselves would be perverse, surely?

GREen beans rated 100! that is a result. we get loads of runner beans in late summer, more than we can eat. so I just used to eat them instead of spuds. made a chilli once and just poured it on a mountain of runner beans, was lovely in fact. and apparently healthy.

does that include peas? i love peas so long as they're not mushy

I don't suppose you have any Nina & Frederik 78s to hand, Bodil? Or have you eaten them all with home-made bramble jam? That's your style, isn't it, you waster.

Nina was nice, in a willowy sort of way. Think Frederik had a beard. I ate their records with an anchovy, garlic and milk sauce and some raw vegetables. That may have been a mistake. In fact I can categorically state it was a mistake.

You depraved bast@rd.

I suppose you washed it down with a nice chianti.

Actually, that's what I had for a first course tonight - the couple are nicest people I know but she is an "unusual" cook. I drank a lot. For a change. I've never had iron-hard beetroot before. It's good to have new experiences. So I've been told.

I hired a lookalike Nina & Frederik couple to dine with me tonight. They weren't cheap at 120 EUROS the pair. Also, they brought their three lookalike children and, as they ate like starved beasts, the night was quite expensive.

We started with deep fried pizza then moved on to potato fritters and onion rings with a veg side-dish : pakora. We washed it down with Barr's Irn Bru served in its original turned glass bottle, worth 25p when you return it.

Actually, the kids urinated in the bottles, so I gave the local garage a 2-for-1 deal.

Truly - a unique evening. And will hopefully remain so.

BTW, Bodil - Frederik seems to have met a bad end.

Crime syndicates and pirates and all sorts of mad sh1t.

Yet they sounded so gorgeous and lovely when they sang their calypso dreams...

It was so sophisticated, cosmopolitan and cool then. Now it seems like tat. How could we have been fooled? In fact - to avoid being fooled again, I suggest we burn everything and everyone. Where's the harm in that?

And we must destroy every Tunnocks Caramel Wafer - or, I have it on the very best authority, Satan will triumph forever.

Very funny Bodil!

I'll put up a link to the advert I saw today for you if it appears on YouTube (not there yet)!

I could, just, be Satan, TT. In which case, you could, just, be in trouble.

What do you mean "tat"? Did I spend all that money for nought? The Co-op were doing a special deal on tinned wild Atlantic salmon too, but the Nina lookalike said she couldn't bear the smell of fish.

"Well, that's Big Charlie fecked," I thought.

I thought the BHA had changed the Handicap system to 0-140 plus years ago


ffs the 90s would struggle to get in the lincoln

ps

What rating does Elvis's "Fools Gold" Sandwich and a pint of Electric soup get????

There are so many different worlds out there. I favour the multiverse theory.

It would be nice to be in the one where I get lots of money, sunshine, love, money, anal sex, money, sleep, drink, money, sleep, serenity, see my enemies die, money, sleep, good dentition, and an honest lawyer.

9 + 2 = 11 PLUS AN EXTRA 18 FOR A PROPER RED SQUIRREL.

So if i have nine of each im on the way to a healthier life!!!!!!

That's all we're trying to do here, Uncle Zilzal - change your dietary mastications for your own good...and maybe save the NHS a few bob into the bargain.

We have no chance for a better life. We know it. They know it. And we wouldn't have it any other way. Embrace your fate. It's better than you deserve.




Or we could kill and burn everyone. Just because.

I can see you're the new Savony...Savonar...Savinrol...guy who wants to burn everything.

I met a woman today whose business was putting people on a fruit and juice diet; selling and sending them everything. Said business was good and her customers felt wonderful! You can't drink on it though and conversation soon faded. She was fit as a fiddle and gorgeous, but about 20 years younger than me. Got me thinking though; its not the food its the fags and drink I'd struggle with.

Why would they need a middle-woman?

Why not just juice their own stuff? Sure, there's that FATBUSTER SOUP stuff - apparently, the more you eat, the more weight you lose.

Actually I thought Catford Tb should burn everyone. Last one in turns the lights out.

The Dominicans will burn every one, as usual.

A fine list Big Charlie :-)

........(....mutter.....).......

Ta Jim

Is that Anne Sophie Mutter, Bodil? The Germans say, "Anne Zzawffay Moo-ter," COR !

Today's top SCIENTIFIC meal was mostly fresh green beans with adolescent onions simmered in a curry sauce with medallions of budget chicken, imprisoned in the dark and tortured for money.

Dubious list imo. Non fat milk 92, 2% milk 55, full milk 52.???????????? how???

My SCIENTIFIC meal today was; two fillets of lightly dusted River Cobbler, baked in the oven, and a tin of Tesco Marrowfat peas.
Why Marrowfat peas? you might ask - and the answer is hugely SCIENTIFIC.

It's because I like mushy peas and Batchelors Chip Shop Style peas are 47p a tin for 300g.
Tesco's Marrowfat peas are 17p for 300g - and all you have to do is simmer them slowly, with a lid on the saucepan, while your fish is cooking - and they end up just like their Batchelors counterparts, if you give them a few stirs as they simmer.

A bargain if ever there was one - and they taste nicer too!

I love a good marrowfat pea.

ALWAYS STEAM YOUR FOOD, ESPECIALLY VEGETABLES, BOILING VEG KNOCKS OUT MOST OF THE NUTRIENTS

In his earlier days at Man. Utd., the club nutritionist weaned Giggs off chocolate and onto PEAS.

Peas in mint, peas in vinegar - or SIMPLY PEAS, please. A low-calorie, high fibre, nutritious snack.

Giggs used to make pictures out of his chocolate wrappers and he displayed them on his walls.

Ryan, if you're reading this at home, why not try gluing dried peas to bits of wood, then cover them with silver foil and boot polish. Finally, shine the polished pea units.

Tomorrow : URINE BOTTLE CONCERTS ; How the experts can make music from the misery of temporary incontinence.

Are you taking the pi$$ ?

Naw, big man, it's joost a wee joke.