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15 Jan 10
20:29
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Date Joined:
03 Mar 09
i constantly feel as though im "touching cloth" but when i visit the toilet,nothing happens, pull up trousers leave toilet,only to get 100 yards away and feel like turtles head is popping out again!....this is very annoying,not to mention time consuming.....any ideas what the hell is going on?
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Irritable Bowel Syndrome.. special diet from now on mate.
Try bran. 4 heaped dessertspoonfuls switched up in a mug of water 3 times a day.
Start off with one mug a day and build up to 3 in a week. Sorted.
Start off with one mug a day and build up to 3 in a week. Sorted.
Try getting a toilet installed near the lounge - 100 yards is not a convenient convenience
:^0
just dae it in the beaches of Kirkcaldy and feed the fishes
just dae it in the beaches of Kirkcaldy and feed the fishes
my diet is pretty appalling, but it always has been!....i am also becoming increasingly prone to sudden and unannounced urges to defacate!...these occur totally at random and are causing me quite a lot of inconvenience,not to mention the underpants being left looking like a ploughed field!....this has got to stop.......any remedies would be appreciated!
:^0
I seen plenty of worms on the beach in Kirkcaldy when the tide was out!
I seen plenty of worms on the beach in Kirkcaldy when the tide was out!
Remedies schmemedies, armchair jockey wilson...you need 3 square meals a day and don't neglect the 2 veg in your meat and 2 veg.
one hundred and eighty ! :^0 faaaaarrrrrrrrrrttttttttttttttttttttttttttt :(
i never eat vegetables they are vile!.....all i want is a decent turd.......is that too much to expect?
at least the real Jockey Wilson got aff his armchair!
How about prunes then armchair? Tinned prunes are quite nice...
on a recent visit to the historic market town of wisbech i was forced to abandon my vehicle at the side of the road and squat in bushes like a defacating dog.....this is becoming humiliating....and it is only a matter of time, before i get myself caught defacating in public!
ive never really fancied eating prunes!
i have previously been given fibogel sachets from the doctor...but that just makes matters worse,and usually ends up with me "following through" somewhere!
why not sellotape a condom around your anus?, it should collect all the waste
i also often get a really sharp nagging pain in the lower left hand of my stomach!
a couple of laxatives will do the trick ajw, you,ll s h i t thru the eye of a needle and pebbledash the bog wall both at once...
im not always constipated...in fact quite the opposite....it usually exits like a flock of starlings!....its just that its not consistant...one day crapping for england...the next day nothing!
no blood in the water although there often is on the toilet roll/my fingers (when using cheap toilet roll)......stools are best described as being very sludgy!
what is crohns disease...and how could i tell for sure whether i had it or not?
crohns disease is not good
but I knew this was a fishing thread from the outset
but I knew this was a fishing thread from the outset
At the risk of killing this thread have you ever considered going to your GP ?
ajw, please, please sort out your diet.
The fact that your doctor is prescribing laxatives quite saddening, but then again, it's up to you to eat right. Please don't end up getting bowel cancer, it's really no fun for anyone.
The fact that your doctor is prescribing laxatives quite saddening, but then again, it's up to you to eat right. Please don't end up getting bowel cancer, it's really no fun for anyone.
this is definitely not a fishing thread!....ive been to my g.p about this problem on/off for the past 7 years!......never had anything diagnosed!....been for scans, had cameras poked up my backside!...but still no diagnosis!
You are what you eat.
Better to be prunes and broccoli than screaming in agony.
Better to be prunes and broccoli than screaming in agony.
the problem with my diet, is that i detest healthy foods!....they are bland,boring and tasteless!.....and the mcdonalds poundsaver menu,is terribly cheap!
OK, ajw, I'm going to start a recipe thread for you because I know there are a lot of very good cooks on chit chat.
i do also drink much more heavily than i should!....probably not helping matters!....but i really would like to get this sorted!...it makes me really miserable at times!
piles wouldnt give me stomach pains would they?......and they wouldnt cause me to have to stop my van and defacate at the roadside..would they?......i dont know much about piles really!
yes they would. you've probably given yourself an anal fissure as well.
so just to recap.....ive got ...piles,crohns disease,possibly bowel cancer,and anal fissure.......................firkin hell.....im not going to ask on hear about my erectile dysfunction!
if it is piles...then what do i do?....do i get them burst?...or lanced?...or graped?....or whatever they do with them?
you can either have a rubber band squeezed around them until they fall off or you can go to hospital and have them cut off.
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