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A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning....
Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch The newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.
'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.
'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-arses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....
'I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET
Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch The newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.
'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.
'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-arses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....
'I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET
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Replies: 34
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bear essentials surely?
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Sounds like Mummy bear is on the blob
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lol, very good annie
we use that punchline loads in our house |
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rustyboy, I can spell bear. I just thought it would get more attention spelt BARE.
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;)
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yawn yawn, another joke for the girls that makes out men dae f*ck all
tut tut |
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can't be Arsed wae that crap since my ex was so lazy back 3 year ago
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A bloke is driving happily along in his car with his girlfriend when he gets pulled over by the police.
The officer approaches him and asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "No, why?" replies the man, "Was I all over the road?" "No," answers the officer, "you were driving splendidly. It was the fat, ugly bird in the passenger seat that made me suspicious" |
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Punterfleecer, take it in the spirit in which it is intended. A gentle dig at men, just to even up the score after numerous 'blonde jokes' and others taking the mick, and usually worse, at women.
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I do not get it, your highness :)
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fat bird makes the car weight uneven
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annie 6
HRH 8 |
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I do not get it, your highness
that's become blindingly obvious in recent weeks |
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You ** Mr Tevez!
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Ah, Tevez, but the difference between me and the male posters on here is that I CHOSE NOT TO GET IT.
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annie your like my wife, she chooses not to get it either
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I thought it was a mass vow of celibacy. Bugger.
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Thank you, your highness. I could not have said it better myself :)
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Tevez
:p :p :p :p |
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The pent up sexual tension round here is gonna' cause havoc imo.
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No-one getting their oats on this thread
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Bloke 1.01
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frasier!!!..nice to sea you old chap..been a while.
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on reflection its a 7 for annie
grew on me |
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I like to pop in now and again Sofia. Then when I see how bad it is I usually pop back out again ;)
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Trucker..1.001.
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Nice one annie
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TTT for dave
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Ma Bear conveniently forgetting it was Pa who had to brave Hank's blunderbuss to steal the oats in the first place.
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In KIDNAPPED, Donald Pleasance calls it "PORRITCH"...
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eh eh. good ol' yorky