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a friend of mine is having a new suit made for cheltenham
he has already specified a pocket especially for the hip flask, and another for mobile phone
forumites tips on other essential design features welcome
he has already specified a pocket especially for the hip flask, and another for mobile phone
forumites tips on other essential design features welcome
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Elastic waistband
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ffs
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Must be that awful tweed design/material...
and make sure he gets a big set of goofy teeth if he wants to look part of the in crowd |
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Sewn in speakers and a mp3 player permanently blasting out 'Ruby' by The Kaiser Chiefs.
Some embroidered token references to actual horse racing to glance at on the inner lining, much like an autocue to try and prolong the charade he actually knows something about racing when talking tofellow racegoers. It should be fitted with burberry air bags to avoid injury when he drunkenly leaves The Golden Miller bar and falls down the steps of the grandstand after the 3rd race. It should obviously come with a colour co-ordinated waxed barber coat and a hat clearly stolen from the boy in the Hovis bread adverts. It will be reversable and embroidered on one side with "I told you all Kauto would p1ss up!" and on the other side with "I told you all Denman on the bit!" It should have a tag sewn in saying 'If this suit is found, please return to the man with the small pen1s" |
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a periscope mounted on the shoulder pads
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reinforced right shoulder so hanging bins don't wear it out
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a nicky henderson-style yellow pullover worn with a white-collared bluu shirt and pink tie is also de rigeur
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Plastic lining in the trousers.
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Make sure the Pattern of the suit blends well with vomit
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Green tweed with a red check.
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