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My daughters getting married in april...quite a big do etc.Heres the problem....
Invitations have been sent out and my daughter insists that only married couples/ co habitants are welcome to the meal that preceeds the wedding.Now my sister"s son has a long term g/friend (4yrs) and she hasnt been invited....MY SISTER HAS GONE BALLISTIC.
My daughter has pointed out that the girl is welcome to the evening festivities and that if anybody was to drop out she will be first on the list, however my sister looks upon this as a major sleight and has been on the phone to me insisting she will not attend if my daughter wont back down.
My daughter is very stubborn and because of my sisters threats has now said there is no chance at all now of the girl getting an invite. Ive pleaded with my daughter , so as to save my relationship with my sister ..but she wont. My sister has told me she realises its nothing to do with me and is not blaming me but i KNOW my sis and our relationship will definately be ruined
Any advice on how to handle this delicate sittuation would be most appreciated.
p.s. My nephews girlfriend isnt 4 yrs old :)
Invitations have been sent out and my daughter insists that only married couples/ co habitants are welcome to the meal that preceeds the wedding.Now my sister"s son has a long term g/friend (4yrs) and she hasnt been invited....MY SISTER HAS GONE BALLISTIC.
My daughter has pointed out that the girl is welcome to the evening festivities and that if anybody was to drop out she will be first on the list, however my sister looks upon this as a major sleight and has been on the phone to me insisting she will not attend if my daughter wont back down.
My daughter is very stubborn and because of my sisters threats has now said there is no chance at all now of the girl getting an invite. Ive pleaded with my daughter , so as to save my relationship with my sister ..but she wont. My sister has told me she realises its nothing to do with me and is not blaming me but i KNOW my sis and our relationship will definately be ruined
Any advice on how to handle this delicate sittuation would be most appreciated.
p.s. My nephews girlfriend isnt 4 yrs old :)
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Replies: 74
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FK em. When we got married we had so little family and mostly friends.
Happy New Year Sals. DMLl |
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Your daughter's worth more than your sister. Tell your sister to go to hell, it's not her kid getting married.
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Right back at you dml....i agree with you 100%...wished they would both fck off to carribean or somewhere on there own...the whole thing is really stressing my misses out
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Is there room for the GF or is your Daughter just acting up?
If there is room there is no excuse. |
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Your daughter's worth more than your sister.
No one is "worth" more than anyone else. Its about being mature and showing some consideration for each other. |
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tell your daughter if she doesnt have family there in 20 years time she'll be so sorry that they werent there.
Its a day for the whole family to get together imo. |
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Something similar happened with my sister's wedding - she didnt invite my cousins which meant that aunt went crazy and never turned up creating a mini rift in the family.
You should try to stay out of it - it is your daughter's wedding, so her wishes are all that should really matter - if your sister cant accept that then it is her problem to get over. |
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Theres plenty of room...theres no excuse....ive even offered to pay for the girls meal.....but my daughters excuse is that all the other single guests are not allowed partners
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Thats a non excuse imo.
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Your daughter have a run in with the GF?
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no joe...shes never met the girl.....carnt believe she wont relent for my sake.
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why is she imposing such a strange rule?
very strange imo. "sorry you can't come to share the happiest day of my life because you're not shacked up with some one in a legal relationship. wind your neck in luv. |
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it is your daughter's wedding, so her wishes are all that should really matter
This is something i disagree on JB. Wedding invitations should involve the whole family. There are family friends long term who the bride/groom wont know but should be invited out of respect for the long term relationship they would have with say the parents or extended family as well as your own. |
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your son has a GF of 4 years and your daughter has never met her?
Strange ;) |
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weird rules,get your daughter to lighten up imo
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have to say, i think you need to just bang their heads together and get them BOTH to see the bigger picture, basically that life will go on after this wedding and that its not so important that its worth ruining relationships over. women tend to lose it a bit when it comes to their big day and it needs a man to help them keep things in perspective imo.
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Exactly , have a word with the groom ;)
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talk to your daughter ffs. one exception in a strange rule for peace. make her feel like the bigger person
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groom is probably already regretting it ;)
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your son has a GF of 4 years and your daughter has never met her?
sorry my mistake, your sisters son...getting mixed up.... not so strange :) Opinion still stands though :) |
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I agree with you padlock...this whole thing could be sorted if my daughter would just give the nod....the problem is that my daughters job is quite high powered and i dont think she can seperate her job from family issues
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Fair point Joe, although girlfriend of a cousin might not be particularly close (depends on the family of course).
From what I have seen, women can become very single minded when it comes to their own wedding, refusing to bend at all on what they feel is best. Salsa, although wanting to accommodate his sister's wishes shouldnt compromise his own relationship with her, he shouldnt risk a rift between himself and her because of this...hence my advice to try to stay out of it. The daughter is probably wrong, and will probably realise that either before or after the wedding, so speak to her as much as possible but that is all you can really do. Then try to get your sister and daughter to speak, if that doesnt work then nothing you can do and then can either hate each other or forget about it. |
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Thats fair JB but i wouldnt be happy. The daughter will get on with her life whilst salsa is left to deal with the mess.
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My sister and my daughter rarely see each other ( just the way it is ) but i get on very well with my bruv in law and my sis and i dont want to lose touch with them both but this will definately drive a wedge between us
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Families eh? :)
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Does your daughter work in HR? They love creating issues for no reason at all.
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The daughter wants the wedding breakfast to be a "family affair" with only relatives and their husbands/wives (or live-in equivalents). What's wrong with that?
The aunt wants an invite for her lad's girlfriend, a perfect stranger to the bride & groom, or she'll have a paddy. Like I say, tell the aunt to go to hell, she should have more sense at her age. You'll miss your daughter more than you'll ever miss your sister. |
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a paddy ?
ttt |
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Jeez.
Supposed to be getting married next year and this is the type of thing I dread. Tempted to fly out to Vegas and get married by a portly Elvis impersonator in a drive-thru wedding. |
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Got married a few years ago and the mother in law and the wife went into overdrive about it. Ended up inviting about 260 people to the wedding breakfast. The only two rules I had was that if anyone got an invite I had to have actually met them, that meant that a load of her distant family were not invited. However if they hadnt made the effort to meet us in the 6 years we were dating then they didnt deserve an invite. I agree with your daughter actually....a bride does not want strangers at the most important day of her life.
The other rule was that I got to choose the table names, and choose the names of my ex-girlfriends. |
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Respect your daughters wishes. Then you and sister need to talk about why this shouldn't impact your relationship.
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Why is your daughter only invited married couples ffs? i've never heard anything like it in my life.
madness. |
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However if they hadnt made the effort to meet us in the 6 years we were dating then they didnt deserve an invite.
:^0 so they are to blame for not meeting you. how about you remove yourselves from the couch and make the effort to meet them? oh wait no you didnt.....you couldnt make it up. |
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is the breakfast family only?
if not there is no excuse, if so then even then i would probably still invite the GF just out of respect. |
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If its family only, why not just invite the immediate families?
forget about cousins etc... |
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will most likely be proposing to my girlfriend sometime this year, (assuming that she accepts) the wedding is going to be a nightmare - she has at least 40 aunts & uncles
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Just refuse to go to the wedding salsabil. No offence but your daughter seems very stuck up and precious and stubborn etc. Only way to learn them is by being tough as fk on them. She is acting ridiculously.
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salsabil5 09 Jan 09:26
My daughters getting married in april...quite a big do etc.Heres the problem.... Invitations have been sent out and my daughter insists that only married couples/ co habitants are welcome to the meal that preceeds the wedding.Now my sister"s son has a long term g/friend (4yrs) and she hasnt been invited....MY SISTER HAS GONE BALLISTIC. My daughter has pointed out that the girl is welcome to the evening festivities and that if anybody was to drop out she will be first on the list, however my sister looks upon this as a major sleight and has been on the phone to me insisting she will not attend if my daughter wont back down. My daughter is very stubborn and because of my sisters threats has now said there is no chance at all now of the girl getting an invite. Ive pleaded with my daughter , so as to save my relationship with my sister ..but she wont. My sister has told me she realises its nothing to do with me and is not blaming me but i KNOW my sis and our relationship will definately be ruined Any advice on how to handle this delicate sittuation would be most appreciated. p.s. My nephews girlfriend isnt 4 yrs old Surely no one would want to spoil your daughters big day m8 if the truth is known, considering your sister's son's girlfriend is invited to the evening do, everyone should act just like adults, with the expense of the wedding and the sit down meal they should understand, esp your sister. Family's hey - why people can't just go with the flow (Given time i reckon it will be ok m8!!). Good luck to your daughter in her marriage :) |
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Quimby
Are you stupid? Where does it say that I sat on a couch for 6 years? Weddings are important days to share with people that have been a part of your life not a bunch of strangers you have never met. The fact we had 160 sit down for the breakfast suggests my social life is more than healthy. You couldnt make it up. Plum. |