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BonViv
07 Jan 10 22:08
Joined:
Date Joined: 30 Oct 09
| Topic/replies: 1,240 | Blogger: BonViv's blog
This most important of matters i believe needs an open forum for debate and the ever pressing question of Etiquette "is it ever right to lay cable in a friends house?"

Personally i'd say a resounding NO,i mean if a mate came round an then took a dump or stunk the khasi out or god forbid cause a blockage i'd be SEETHING and i woulnd't like to to put others through a similair situation.

I consulted Debretts on this matter and they seem to concur offering this advice

As a rule of thumb a gentleman must never defecate in the house of a friend or relative.however if nature takes it's course and there is simply no other option there are two favoured options.

Always ensure the deposit is done "out of basin" thus ensuring a clean break.Toilet tissue or a towel is usually appropiate.Proceed to dispose of the deposit either via open window or alternatley secrete the item away and dispose of this downstairs in a regular waste unit/bin.(always cleanse rectal area)



Light one match and blow it out (if you can) as soon as you are seated upon the toilet

After you pass your first motion, flush immediately and strike another match, blow it out and wave it around a bit. Repeat this step until you've completed using the receptacle. Cleanse yourself and the area, wash your hands thoroughly and strike one last match the same as you did above before exiting.




Do unto others as you'd have done to thyself is my motto

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Replies: 17
By:
Prima Donna
When: 07 Jan 10 22:11
You really are a prat Bonviv,if I was in your ex council house id be tempted to dump on you!tw@t
By:
armchair jockey wilson!!
When: 07 Jan 10 22:12
i had a workman come to my house once, he knocked on the door and asked "could i use your toilet?"..........10 mins later my firkin toilet was stinking and blocked ...and mr workman was nowhere to be seen!.....that was the first and last time a visitor will ever defacate on my premises!
By:
BonViv
When: 07 Jan 10 22:12
What an odd reply? how would one's housing affect the matter of taking adump or not in a friends house?
By:
Dutchy Schwarz
When: 07 Jan 10 22:13
I'd rather not crap myself so yes, it's acceptable.
By:
Prima Donna
When: 07 Jan 10 22:15
Bon viv you are a fake you are no gentleman you are just a common snob!
By:
718
When: 07 Jan 10 22:18
What's the alternative you **g fruitcake, that you papper your trolleys?
By:
Gallivanter
When: 07 Jan 10 22:18
We've got an outside lav as well as an inside one. If you're not related, you use the outside one. Proper bog roll, though, none of that free local newspaper with the ink coming off it like her next door puts out.
By:
The Leopard
When: 07 Jan 10 22:22
Harold........!!!!!!!!!!!!
By:
Max and Paddy
When: 07 Jan 10 22:22
BonViv - please forgive me if I am wrong here, but didn't you tell a story some months ago where your mate or some bird had a shít in the bed in your spare bedroom after you'd gone out on the pull while the breadknife was away?
By:
Ronaldinho's dentist
When: 07 Jan 10 22:23
it would be rude not to..and feel free to overshoot the runway
By:
718
When: 07 Jan 10 22:24
What about sh!tting in his wife's handbag, going into the garden, twirling the bag containing the feeshus round like an Olympic hammer thrower and sending it 200 yards in God knows which direction through the window and into the living room of some unsuspecting pensioner? Get a **g grip!
By:
BonViv
When: 07 Jan 10 22:24
good god m@p that was about a year ago...and indeed i'm proud to say it was indeed me..though it was the bird that sh@t the bed.If only she'd read Debretts
By:
casemoney
When: 07 Jan 10 22:25
Ok if theres an air freshener ,few coughs to cover that and other noises .
If Uve got to go U gotta Go ...
By:
bodil
When: 07 Jan 10 22:26
It's only a dump - not a matter of life and honour. When did we become so disconnected with mundane reality? And when did your toilet become a substitute for your essential being?
By:
Dutchy Schwarz
When: 07 Jan 10 22:26
BonViv 07 Jan 23:24
good god m@p that was about a year ago...and indeed i'm proud to say it was indeed me..though it was the bird that sh@t the bed.If only she'd read Debretts


But you only joined in Oct. '09?
By:
BonViv
When: 07 Jan 10 22:27
By:
BonViv
When: 07 Jan 10 22:28
under Bon Viveur and it may have been more than a year ago though possibly a bit less as i've been relatively well behaved the last 6 months!

I hasten to ad the bird i pulled wasn't the one that sh1t the bed
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