A couple of Pikeys are doing my potholes at the moment

kinky

Euphamism, imo

Are they doing it for free...?

lock the back door, or their nipper will be robbing your house as you write this

They are on their 6th wheelbarrow full of tarmac type stuff.

quality stuff

Guess how much cash I am paying them ?

Must have been eating liqourice last night

how many holes x 25 quid imo

A monkey ?

To be honest mate they shouldn't be putting any down in these conditions as i'm pretty sure it won't set right.

Will they give you a lift to the bank?

Theres quite a few holes, 2 of them fairly big and deep. Thats why i'm counting the bags.

Don't go for the white pebbles ruse, they take a hammer to a packet of polo's

Have a look how deep it is they tend to lay it as thin as poss',first frost it all breaks up.

How many tiles have the taken from the roof for "No 1 scalpins"

What are their accents like.....?

Relatives will call in three months to re-apply and you'll end up with tarmac higher than your damp proof course. nap.

prima donna 13:05 ^^ thats true !! :0

second class degree in Modern History.
To be sure, to be sure, sor. ;)

http://www.pavingexpert.com/faqmac02.htm

oops that didn't come out right soz.

Its a few potholes, not an effin driveway !

In all cases, if a bitmac surfaced pavement is soft or tacky 72 hours after being compacted and finished, the contractor should be contacted immediately. As the supplier and installer, the contractor has to be given the opportunity to inspect and identify the problem, and then determine the most effective remedial action. In many cases, it is simply a matter of time, allowing an extra week or so for the solvent to evaporate and the material to harden more fully, but, in some cases, the material may need to be replaced. The responsibility for such works lies with the contractor, who may, in turn, seek redress from their supplier.

However, there are cases where the contractor refuses to accept any responsibilty or cannot be found for whatever reason. This presents a major problem to the property owner, :^0 :^0

Walter Raleigh had the right idea Coat ...throw yourself over the pothole !! :D :D

TheCoat, did you do the Pikey intelligence test?........................

Ask to to make one sentence with the word fascinate in it














Correct intelligent Pikey answer.........................I have a Donkey jacket, - when I wear it I look great - It has eleven buttons but I only fasten-eight

Ask to* ask them to....doh

how much will you pay?...there was a guy in redditch on an industrial est...same situation as you..but he told them he wasnt interested ..they were persistent..and so eventually he said go on then..just do those few potholes..he went to lunch..when he came back they were done and waiting for their money..he said how much ..they said 11k....
obviously he said get lost i'll give you £50...they said 11k or we kill your kids...he couldnt believe what he was hearing...
the upshot was he ended up paying them 10k
so although they are not all the same be very careful dealing with these people

thecoat Oh dear what have you gotten yourself into ? :(

have the syphoned the petrol from your car yet?

Lived next to old couple........they came back from shopping to find their drive was being dug up by 2 Pikeys........"what do you think you're doing"..........

"Good morning, Soyr, yur house frunt dare, twas lookin a tad sad, we taught we'd give it a wee make-over, spuce it t'up like"

"We haven't ordered any work !"

"We were just passing like.......tis no problem"

To be continued...

They have just finished. They worked hard in rotten conditions, and filled in more holes than originally quoted. I paid them cash and everybody is happy.

Oh ye of little faith !

How much for 1 hours work?

You are now on a list of 'customers' currently being circulated amongst the travelling community.

Did you check their visas ?.......you could be fined £5000 for employing illegal immigrants...

my old man had a vist from some "tree surgeons" who took down and removed all the leylandii at the front of his garden (good move) for £500. "we'll be back in the morning to grind down the stumps, meanwhile we'll put this green acid on them" (fairy liquid I think)

never seen again. i expect the trees are dumped down a lane or round the back of a disused warehouse car park

You are now on a list of 'customers' currently being circulated amongst the travelling community.

Your shed has already been emptied!

I did a cash deal at £125.

^ you think you've done a cash deal for £125

are they driving mercs or new bmw's?

One called last week, he was about 18-20, asked if my block paving needed power washing. I said something like, do you just call at random houses with this service and he grinned and said, don't you remember me? I replied in the negative and he said, me and me dad were the ones who laid it. I told him, it's been there for twelve years and was installed by an accredited builder, not an eight year old and his dad with a pick up and a mobile phone contact number. He just grinned, phucked off across the street and tried a neighbour. No doubt when the local paper arrives they will be parked up somewhere awaiting a costly(for the taxpayer) eviction.

.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-41241049

I wanted to do some tarmacking but I just don't have the drive.