The Lagerhound Lay - 4th Jan 2010

After almost a year in exile (Not the band 'Exile', who incidentally were responsible for the 1978 hit 'Kiss You All Over'), I'm making my return on what looks like to be one of the stupidest days ever in the racing calendar.

We've got meetings at Wolvplace, Wolvavb and just plain old Wolv where I'll be making my selection. It's bad enough to have racing at three similar sounding tracks, but the idiots at BHS have made all of the races start at the same time. It makes life hell for us punters.

I'm so cross in fact that I considered analysing the 3:45 Indycartoon in Billys. I've had a tip that the orange car, cartoonly 'driven' by Timmy 'The Stig' Timpson might win. Luckily for my followers though, I've gone with a nag, and what a bad nag he is.

The Lagerhound Lay - 4th Jan 2010 - High Constable - 15:05 Wolv


I know what you're thinking people: "Low grade steeplecheese on the anyweather track - surely you just back the nag that collapses from double-carpet into levels you demons". You'd be right, but I've had the word.

My man on the inside tells me that support for High Constable will be solid, as he's ridden by cheeky**ney actor Denny Dyer. (You can tell he's a**ney as he normally says 'geezer' a lot and is fairly stupid).

The cash will be piling in from the local 'faces' (or 'mugs' as we pro's like to call them) and they'll be expecting a win. They won't get it. At just 1 mile (12 furlungs) this trip is too short for my selection, and she's not jumping well either. Normally this wouldn't be a problem because a wise old jockler like Dyer would ride around the outside of the fences when nobody is looking. Today though, the TV cameras will provide moving pictures and anything underhand will be spotted.

So we have a dodgy jockist, a race too long and the absolute certainty that one of the massive outsiders will be odds-on at the off (techincal term, trust me). There's no way that High Constable can win, and that should 'police' my followers.

You can lay this filly until all day long until 3:05, just don't get confused with a horse running at Wolvplace with the same name. That one (providing a ready made excuse for tomorrow) could hose up on the birdle.

[b]