Chit Chat
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Things you hear in a Bookies.
Source: Group on Facebook.
Manager (paying out bet): That's £7.42
Customer: That's not right
Manager: What do you think it should be?
Customer: I don't know - you're the bookie. But its more than that.
Minimum 10 minute conversation to follow.
Customer (angrily bursting through door after i unlocked it): Why you opening late?
Me: I'm not. We open at half ten.
Customer: Where does it say that?
Me (pointing at 2 big signs): There and there.
Customer: But I wanted a bet on that dog race (10:22 Virtual greyhounds)
Me: Well, we open at half ten.
Customer: That's not acceptable, I want to complain about this...
Gave him complaints address (he obviously wanted a phone number) so further ranting etc etc.
And no, he didn't bet on the 10:32... or 10:42. Tw at.
customer: can you explain a round robin
me: i can but you wont understand
customer: try me
me: ok 1xtreble 3xdoubles and then proceed to tell him for 10 mins about single stakes about. get it!
customer: so its the same as a patent then.
me: told you you wouldnt get it now p iss off
i pay your wages
in fact i pay your dole with my taxes!!!
not so smug now are you!!!!
Customer: I've had twenty spins without a draw
Me: You've got a chip on every number thats an impossibility
Customer: I'm telling you i've not had a draw in over an hour
Me: Spin it now
number rolls in that a customer has
Me: There you go
Customer: Thats not the number i wanted
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
grand national day:
how many fu c king times can i hear "do i pay tax on that?", reply that tax finished several years ago, response "show's you how long since i had a bet!"
yeah not heard that one before, now fu ck off. (see you next year when we can go through all this again
i love when punters say 'that's your wage i've paid' when their bet loses. especially when it's only a pound spin on a machine. feel like getting my wage slip out and reading it out
basic pay XXXX
overtime 45.17
bank holiday 48.23
oh here it is!
Trev's donation 1.00
day after national
group of about fifteen women wanting to collect.
woman ' can i colect this'
me 'sure lets have a look'
(have a look at it)
me' sorry luv its a loser, diddnt even place'
woman ' i know it was tripped up'
me 'well sorry theres nowt to come back'
woman are you kidding it was tripped, i should get compensation'
what the fu ck !!!!
Source: Group on Facebook.
Manager (paying out bet): That's £7.42
Customer: That's not right
Manager: What do you think it should be?
Customer: I don't know - you're the bookie. But its more than that.
Minimum 10 minute conversation to follow.
Customer (angrily bursting through door after i unlocked it): Why you opening late?
Me: I'm not. We open at half ten.
Customer: Where does it say that?
Me (pointing at 2 big signs): There and there.
Customer: But I wanted a bet on that dog race (10:22 Virtual greyhounds)
Me: Well, we open at half ten.
Customer: That's not acceptable, I want to complain about this...
Gave him complaints address (he obviously wanted a phone number) so further ranting etc etc.
And no, he didn't bet on the 10:32... or 10:42. Tw at.
customer: can you explain a round robin
me: i can but you wont understand
customer: try me
me: ok 1xtreble 3xdoubles and then proceed to tell him for 10 mins about single stakes about. get it!
customer: so its the same as a patent then.
me: told you you wouldnt get it now p iss off
i pay your wages
in fact i pay your dole with my taxes!!!
not so smug now are you!!!!
Customer: I've had twenty spins without a draw
Me: You've got a chip on every number thats an impossibility
Customer: I'm telling you i've not had a draw in over an hour
Me: Spin it now
number rolls in that a customer has
Me: There you go
Customer: Thats not the number i wanted
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
grand national day:
how many fu c king times can i hear "do i pay tax on that?", reply that tax finished several years ago, response "show's you how long since i had a bet!"
yeah not heard that one before, now fu ck off. (see you next year when we can go through all this again
i love when punters say 'that's your wage i've paid' when their bet loses. especially when it's only a pound spin on a machine. feel like getting my wage slip out and reading it out
basic pay XXXX
overtime 45.17
bank holiday 48.23
oh here it is!
Trev's donation 1.00
day after national
group of about fifteen women wanting to collect.
woman ' can i colect this'
me 'sure lets have a look'
(have a look at it)
me' sorry luv its a loser, diddnt even place'
woman ' i know it was tripped up'
me 'well sorry theres nowt to come back'
woman are you kidding it was tripped, i should get compensation'
what the fu ck !!!!
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Replies: 30
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bloke running to counter trips and falls
suddenly a hand appears with imortal words and i quote "stop fu--ing laughin and put my bet on |
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Some years ago I had a bloke in my shop who insisted that non-ruinners paid evens. I explained over and over again that they didln't and in the end he said okay. A couple of days later he had a big priced winner with a non-runner and it started all over again. After he eventuallly accepted it I banned him.
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On grand national day a few years ago a woman came in wanting to back beechers brook...i explained to her that beechers brook was a fence and not a horse but she thought i was lying and placed the bet anyway " just in case"....FFS
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Customer: But I wanted a bet on that dog race (10:22 Virtual greyhounds)
And no, he didn't bet on the 10:32... or 10:42. Tw at ======================================== ARE YOU DAFT OR WHAT ??..ITs OBVIOUS WHY HE DIDNT BET ON THOSE 2 RACES , ITs BECAUSE HE HAD AN INSIDE TIP FROM THE STABLE ON THE 10-22... :-) |
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Do they house virtual greyhounds in stables?..err
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had a drunk have a tenner on a NR cos he used yest paper and it still lost
came to collect gave him £10 he said its more than that |
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salsabil5
they can Virtually do anything ... |
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Many years ago (29) i was in a bookies on Grand National day morning and some geezer asked me for help filling in his betting slip,i said i will do it for him,i wrote down his selection,and then asked him if he was paying tax,and he told me no,as he was at college.
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lol
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At the Abbey Arms junction in Plaistow east London are two betting shops on opposite sides of the road. One is Sadcrooks, the other is Carols.
When shops used to open on Sundays for a match with a mid-day kick off, if Carols price was marginally better than Sadcrooks, the Carols manager would open up 5 minutes late because he said the big bets would affect his bonus. :D :D |
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salsabil5 30 Jan 07:59
On grand national day a few years ago a woman came in wanting to back beechers brook...i explained to her that beechers brook was a fence and not a horse but she thought i was lying and placed the bet anyway " just in case"....FFS best so far :^0 |
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Grand National Day 1999 Turnpike Lane Ladies
Customer gives cashier a slip She rings it up for 5.00 He says"Read what is says on the slip and give me the money" She says" Huh, that's not how it works, you give me a fiver" 30 second exchange btwn the two and customer turns and leaves Cashier turns to manager and says "Can you void this" Bettting slip said ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11.00 T "I HAVE A GUN , IN MY POCKET GIVE ME ALL THE NOTES IN YOUR TILL" Stake : 5.00 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Robber had picked slip up off the counter Bloke robbed the shop around the corner instead |
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Bloke went into his local bookies in 1980
on one slip he had Turnavos 25/1 £5 ew Irish Derby Mons Beau 40/1 £5 ew Northumberland Plate Total stake £20 Both horses won, when he went into draw his money the manager walked out into the middle of the shop crying with laughter & shouting " couldn't you afford to do the double" The shop was quite busy at the time, the punter already feeling like a @@@@ did not know where to put his face. Hasten to say I never went back :( |
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Probably saved you a few quid then pumps...
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I really don't understand Paglima's one.
Could someone explain it.(seriously, I don't get it) |
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True Story
Used to go to Epsom for the week Derby week (when it was a Wednesday race). On the Thursday, was in one of the shops whilst an elderly couple were at the counter trying to put their bets on, explaining that they wrote their bets on the slips before the race (the Derby) but didnt come down into the town yesterday because it was too busy...... |
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a £1 win dbl wd return £1066 londis
unlucky bet really for P |
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You should get money back on trips so that 2k im owed for Barton Banks fall in King George all them years ago
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:)
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Mate of mine had an old dear come in on Grand National Day.
She put her bet on and Mick asked her if she wanted to pay tax. She said no thankyou, took her receipt and left. She came in on the Monday to collect her winnings, Mick tells her its XX amount. The old dear says, "oh my son said i had YY to come". Thats right says Mick, YY less tax is XX amount. "Oh but, my dear", says the old dear, "don't you remember? You asked me if i wanted to pay tax and i said NO!" Mick p!ssed himself laughing and paid her what she expected to draw!! Bless 'er! :D |
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A manager told me once that an elderly lady came in and mistakenly asked "Am I too late for 69's", meaning 49's obviously!
Apparently he replied "Yes love, by about 30 years" I found that quite funny!!!! |
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When manually settling, on Grand National day, my missus always asked the customers to keep it to one per ticket if possible. Immediately after the race, literally seconds, a customer comes up with six singles on his betting slip expecting to draw. We told him he had to wait while I was settling the slips with just singles on first. He said
"Well if I just rip the top bit off with the winning horse can you pay me now" |
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And here is the flipside.
I write on a slip. Kauto Star 200CH Alaivan 3.20 CH Venture to Cognac 4.5CH £10ew Trixie Ladbrooks cashier asks me "What race is Trixie in?" (names of horses changed - story true) |
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londis_lagerhound_ 30 Jan 13:58
I really don't understand Paglima's one. Could someone explain it.(seriously, I don't get it) Londis. I was only 13 at that time. But I think he meant Tyrnavos. :) |
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One guy thought Portman Park was in South Africa and the actual race was represented by a cartoon race a few minutes after it had actually taken place. I explained he was wrong and the person who told him this was winding him up. He didn't look like he believed me.
One bloke (early 2002) wanted to bet that the Queen Mother would die on the actual day of the Golden Jubilee. We explained that it wasn't a bet we would take, but he seemed quite miffed! One guy used to back short priced favs each way. He backed Rock of Gibraltar in its last race at the Breeders Cup (10/11 when he backed it I think). Had a fiver each way on it! |
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seamless SDK
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Superb thread
real all of them |
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Had a guy walk into the shop in Towcester when i ran it, he stood there looking all around with a puzzled look on his face.
Came up to the counter and said " excuse me, where are the books?" |
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lolol
i love it :-) |
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the lodger 30 Jan 01:49
bloke running to counter trips and falls suddenly a hand appears with imortal words and i quote "stop fu--ing laughin and put my bet on pmsl |