Chit Chat
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My girlfriend has just finnished her viva (exam to get PhD) and passed with flying colours. I now have to take her a card and flowers and I would like to trick her friends in to thinking I'm rather witty. Wtf can I put in the message. I can't think of any biology related puns or jokes. Any ideas?
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Replies: 22
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You're going to get your phD
So come and suck my c*ck for me. |
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I'm up it
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10/10 fleaboy
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Oh, Doctor, doctor, I could see you were learning, learning
Oh, Doctor, doctor, is this love I'm feeling? Oh, Doctor, doctor, Now you have your degree Oh, Doctor, doctor, will you go down on me To the tune of the Thompson Twins hit |
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Q. What does DNA stand for?
A. National Dyslexics Association Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? A: Pull down its genes. |
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Just take her for a weekend in Paris to celebrate and you can forget about the witty message, the card and the flowers.
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If she has a biology PHD which presumably included sex education, say congratulations and all that but you demand to see first hand proof.
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You're a doctor now - and not one of the plebs
But I hope you'll still let me spaff on your chebs. |
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Her: Oh doctor, I'm in trouble.
Him: Well, goodness gracious me. Her: For every time a certain man Is standing next to me. Him: Mmm? Her: A flush comes to my face And my pulse begins to race, It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom, Him: Oh! Her: Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom Him: Well, goodness gracious me. Him: How often does this happen? When did the trouble start? You see, my stethoscope is bobbing To the throbbing of your heart. Her: What kind of man is he To create this allergy? It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom, Him: Oh! Her: Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom Him: Well, goodness gracious me. Him: From New Delhi to Darjeeling I have done my share of healing, And I've never yet been beaten or outboxed, I remember that with one jab Of my needle in the Punjab How I cleared up beriberi And the dreaded dysentery, But your complaint has got me really foxed. Her: Oh. Her: Oh doctor, touch my fingers. Him: Well, goodness gracious me. Her: You may be very clever But however, can't you see, My heart beats much too much At a certain tender touch, It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom, Him: I like it! Her: Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom Him: Well, goodness gracious me. Him: Can I see your tongue? Her: Aaah. Him: Nothing the matter with it, put it away please. Her: Maybe it's my back. Him: Maybe it is. Her: Shall I lie down? Him: Yes. Her: Ahhh... Him: My initial diagnosis Rules out measles and thrombosis, Sleeping sickness and, as far as I can tell, Influenza, inflammation, Whooping cough and night starvation, And you'll be so glad to hear That both your eyeballs are so clear That I can positively swear that you are well, Ja-ja, ja-ja-ja-ja. Her: Put two and two together, Him: Four, Her: If you have eyes to see, The face that makes my pulses race Is right in front of me. Him: Oh, there is nothing I can do For my heart is jumping too. Both: Oh, we go boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom, Her: Goodness gracious, Him: How audacious! Her: Goodness gracious, Him: How flirtatious! Her: Goodness gracious, Him: It is me. Her: It is you? Him: Ah, I'm sorry, it is us. Both: Ahhh! |
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or for a biology theme . . . .
Highly sensitive, orally active small molecule seeks stable well-structured receptor who knows size isn't everything. |
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mirror mirror on the wall
who's the cleverest of them all I must confess it isn't me I've only got one gcse I desperately needed to gather a quorum so off I went to the Chit Chat forum to finds some words that would be a hit but all I got was a pile of sh!t wit and wisdom is all I need not lewd remarks about sucking my seed it looks like I am all out of luck so bend over baby and stand by for a fvck |
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We ain't nuthin' but mammals.
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I'm a Manimal :D
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Funny thread. Thanks to jugador, baggers and especially to Swearbox and Sultan.
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HH Sultan Vinegar 15 Dec 14:38
You're a doctor now - and not one of the plebs But I hope you'll still let me spaff on your chebs. :^0 |
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I asked for Chit chat for something witty
To congratulate your Degree with a little ditty Suggestions came in galore in fact I got well over a score. but every single one of them concerned your titty. |
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Now your study days are done
Lift your skirt and show your bun Burn your bra and greese your knees Come and taste my helmet ch no.... sorry |
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You've submitted your PHD thesis
It's mighty impressive so I won't be facetious many call the the viva your oral defence I love you, I won't sit on the fence I want to smash your big brain with my**. |
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You've been away at college whoring
All the freshers smashed your back door in Now you got the degree you craved Come home to me and act depraved |
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You may be bright , but your still a tart
And in bed you writh and f art But now its on to better thngs Lets see what joy the dole queue brings |
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My lovely babe
you're really clever stood there in your nightie and when moonlight flits across your t1ts... jesus christ almighty |
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Splicer Keats 15 Dec 16:33
You've been away at college whoring All the freshers smashed your back door in Now you got the degree you craved Come home to me and act depraved lmfao 15 Dec 16:55 You may be bright , but your still a tart And in bed you writh and f art But now its on to better thngs Lets see what joy the dole queue brings Two classics to choose from imo :^0 |