HELP!! Forum Comedians required.

You're going to get your phD
So come and suck my c*ck for me.

I'm up it

10/10 fleaboy

Oh, Doctor, doctor, I could see you were learning, learning
Oh, Doctor, doctor, is this love I'm feeling?

Oh, Doctor, doctor, Now you have your degree
Oh, Doctor, doctor, will you go down on me

To the tune of the Thompson Twins hit

Q. What does DNA stand for?
A. National Dyslexics Association

Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
A: Pull down its genes.

Just take her for a weekend in Paris to celebrate and you can forget about the witty message, the card and the flowers.

If she has a biology PHD which presumably included sex education, say congratulations and all that but you demand to see first hand proof.

You're a doctor now - and not one of the plebs
But I hope you'll still let me spaff on your chebs.

Her: Oh doctor, I'm in trouble.
Him: Well, goodness gracious me.
Her: For every time a certain man
Is standing next to me.
Him: Mmm?
Her: A flush comes to my face
And my pulse begins to race,
It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom,
Him: Oh!
Her: Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Him: Well, goodness gracious me.

Him: How often does this happen?
When did the trouble start?
You see, my stethoscope is bobbing
To the throbbing of your heart.
Her: What kind of man is he
To create this allergy?
It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom,
Him: Oh!
Her: Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Him: Well, goodness gracious me.

Him: From New Delhi to Darjeeling
I have done my share of healing,
And I've never yet been beaten or outboxed,
I remember that with one jab
Of my needle in the Punjab
How I cleared up beriberi
And the dreaded dysentery,
But your complaint has got me really foxed.
Her: Oh.

Her: Oh doctor, touch my fingers.
Him: Well, goodness gracious me.
Her: You may be very clever
But however, can't you see,
My heart beats much too much
At a certain tender touch,
It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom,
Him: I like it!
Her: Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Him: Well, goodness gracious me.

Him: Can I see your tongue?
Her: Aaah.
Him: Nothing the matter with it, put it away please.
Her: Maybe it's my back.
Him: Maybe it is.
Her: Shall I lie down?
Him: Yes.
Her: Ahhh...

Him: My initial diagnosis
Rules out measles and thrombosis,
Sleeping sickness and, as far as I can tell,
Influenza, inflammation,
Whooping cough and night starvation,
And you'll be so glad to hear
That both your eyeballs are so clear
That I can positively swear that you are well,
Ja-ja, ja-ja-ja-ja.

Her: Put two and two together,
Him: Four,
Her: If you have eyes to see,
The face that makes my pulses race
Is right in front of me.
Him: Oh, there is nothing I can do
For my heart is jumping too.
Both: Oh, we go boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom,
Her: Goodness gracious,
Him: How audacious!
Her: Goodness gracious,
Him: How flirtatious!
Her: Goodness gracious,
Him: It is me.
Her: It is you?
Him: Ah, I'm sorry, it is us.
Both: Ahhh!

or for a biology theme . . . .

Highly sensitive, orally active small molecule seeks stable well-structured receptor who knows size isn't everything.

mirror mirror on the wall
who's the cleverest of them all
I must confess it isn't me
I've only got one gcse

I desperately needed to gather a quorum
so off I went to the Chit Chat forum
to finds some words that would be a hit
but all I got was a pile of sh!t

wit and wisdom is all I need
not lewd remarks about sucking my seed
it looks like I am all out of luck
so bend over baby and stand by for a fvck

We ain't nuthin' but mammals.

I'm a Manimal :D

Funny thread. Thanks to jugador, baggers and especially to Swearbox and Sultan.

HH Sultan Vinegar 15 Dec 14:38
You're a doctor now - and not one of the plebs
But I hope you'll still let me spaff on your chebs.

:^0

I asked for Chit chat for something witty
To congratulate your Degree with a little ditty
Suggestions came in galore
in fact I got well over a score.
but every single one of them concerned your titty.

Now your study days are done
Lift your skirt and show your bun
Burn your bra and greese your knees
Come and taste my helmet ch



no....
sorry

You've submitted your PHD thesis
It's mighty impressive so I won't be facetious
many call the the viva your oral defence
I love you, I won't sit on the fence
I want to smash your big brain with my**.

You've been away at college whoring
All the freshers smashed your back door in
Now you got the degree you craved
Come home to me and act depraved

You may be bright , but your still a tart
And in bed you writh and f art
But now its on to better thngs
Lets see what joy the dole queue brings

My lovely babe
you're really clever
stood there in your nightie
and when moonlight flits
across your t1ts...
jesus christ almighty

Splicer Keats 15 Dec 16:33


You've been away at college whoring
All the freshers smashed your back door in
Now you got the degree you craved
Come home to me and act depraved




lmfao 15 Dec 16:55


You may be bright , but your still a tart
And in bed you writh and f art
But now its on to better thngs
Lets see what joy the dole queue brings



Two classics to choose from imo :^0