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11 Dec 09
17:44
Joined:
Date Joined:
31 May 05
This one doesn't rhyme but I believe has all the necessary literary requirements to make a top poem.
Half a no egg roll
by Mavis Handbag
As he wen'st to the shoppe
Steep'd full of thyne herb,
He utter'd three fathoms
His maker he did meet.
As they pounced 'pon the thatch
Hyne abridged on myne muggeridge!
The old man could but utter
''Tis a dark day in Somerset''.
For of course he referreth, not
To thine befudded hebrew mornings
Or thyne colour of thee coat
Twas the doom bestow'd 'pon fyve begge.
''All cometh together'', they cry
Uniteth in thine wisdom and billerye
Pertescent in thine eyes
Twas a long wait 'pon the farm.
Apons't on thyne waistcoat,
The farm boy fetch'd
Half a no egg roll
Without butter.
(c) Mavis Handbag 2009.
Half a no egg roll
by Mavis Handbag
As he wen'st to the shoppe
Steep'd full of thyne herb,
He utter'd three fathoms
His maker he did meet.
As they pounced 'pon the thatch
Hyne abridged on myne muggeridge!
The old man could but utter
''Tis a dark day in Somerset''.
For of course he referreth, not
To thine befudded hebrew mornings
Or thyne colour of thee coat
Twas the doom bestow'd 'pon fyve begge.
''All cometh together'', they cry
Uniteth in thine wisdom and billerye
Pertescent in thine eyes
Twas a long wait 'pon the farm.
Apons't on thyne waistcoat,
The farm boy fetch'd
Half a no egg roll
Without butter.
(c) Mavis Handbag 2009.
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I take it that you did steal this "poem" from a Wurzels B-side?
What is "Wurzels" B- side?
I thought that was a rough part of Manchester.
I thought that was a rough part of Manchester.
In tears here mate, you've moved me... really moved me.
Hark! The Mavis
By Robert Burns
1759-1796
CA' the yowes to the knowes,
Ca' them where the heather grows,
Ca' them where the burnie rows,
My bonnie dearie.
Hark! the mavis' evening sang
Sounding Clouden's woods amang,
Then a-faulding let us gang,
My bonnie dearie.
We'll gae down by Clouden side,
Through the hazels spreading wide,
O'er the waves that sweetly glide
To the moon sae clearly.
Yonder Clouden's silent towers,
Where at moonshine midnight hours
O'er the dewy bending flowers
Fairies dance sae cheery.
Ghaist nor bogle shalt thou fear;
Thou'rt to Love and Heaven sae dear,
Nocht of ill may come thee near,
My bonnie dearie.
Fair and lovely as thou art,
Thou hast stown my very heart;
I can die--but canna part,
My bonnie dearie.
While waters wimple to the sea;
While day blinks in the lift sae hie;
Till clay-cauld death shall blin' my e'e,
Ye shall be my dearie.
Ca' the yowes to the knowes .........
luv peace and respect.
p.s. Are you as diiiiiiiiiiiiiirttttyyyyy in the... errr.. flesh .. :p :x
Hark! The Mavis
By Robert Burns
1759-1796
CA' the yowes to the knowes,
Ca' them where the heather grows,
Ca' them where the burnie rows,
My bonnie dearie.
Hark! the mavis' evening sang
Sounding Clouden's woods amang,
Then a-faulding let us gang,
My bonnie dearie.
We'll gae down by Clouden side,
Through the hazels spreading wide,
O'er the waves that sweetly glide
To the moon sae clearly.
Yonder Clouden's silent towers,
Where at moonshine midnight hours
O'er the dewy bending flowers
Fairies dance sae cheery.
Ghaist nor bogle shalt thou fear;
Thou'rt to Love and Heaven sae dear,
Nocht of ill may come thee near,
My bonnie dearie.
Fair and lovely as thou art,
Thou hast stown my very heart;
I can die--but canna part,
My bonnie dearie.
While waters wimple to the sea;
While day blinks in the lift sae hie;
Till clay-cauld death shall blin' my e'e,
Ye shall be my dearie.
Ca' the yowes to the knowes .........
luv peace and respect.
p.s. Are you as diiiiiiiiiiiiiirttttyyyyy in the... errr.. flesh .. :p :x
I have to say I'm impressed. Seemingly unrelated twists on the language seem to convey a wider, somehow more satisfying meaning. Half a No Egg Roll is likely to immortalise the enigmatic Handbag.
Since I'm again in 'the spotlight' I'd better take the time to respond to valued fans' feedback.
JUGADOR MEJOR 11 Dec 19:03
Was that English?
Yes. You numbskull.
The Magic Flea 11 Dec 19:05
what do you have against hebrew?
Nothing. Many of my friends speak in Hebrew and I am also a member of the Hebrew Appreciation Trust & Society (HATS). We have bowler hats emblazoned with hebrew scribes 'pon them.
Old Gregg's Designer Mangina 11 Dec 19:12
my mum says you suck
Well beggar me sideways.
Magical Feast 11 Dec 19:48
In tears here mate, you've moved me... really moved me.
That comment has moved me, so in return I am now in tears.
p.s. Are you as diiiiiiiiiiiiiirttttyyyyy in the... errr.. flesh ..
I wash every Tuesday ok pal..
HH Sultan Vinegar 11 Dec 20:02
I have to say I'm impressed. Seemingly unrelated twists on the language seem to convey a wider, somehow more satisfying meaning. Half a No Egg Roll is likely to immortalise the enigmatic Handbag.
Thank you. Excellent insight & a well written short critique imo. I am pleased you appreciate it.
JUGADOR MEJOR 11 Dec 19:03
Was that English?
Yes. You numbskull.
The Magic Flea 11 Dec 19:05
what do you have against hebrew?
Nothing. Many of my friends speak in Hebrew and I am also a member of the Hebrew Appreciation Trust & Society (HATS). We have bowler hats emblazoned with hebrew scribes 'pon them.
Old Gregg's Designer Mangina 11 Dec 19:12
my mum says you suck
Well beggar me sideways.
Magical Feast 11 Dec 19:48
In tears here mate, you've moved me... really moved me.
That comment has moved me, so in return I am now in tears.
p.s. Are you as diiiiiiiiiiiiiirttttyyyyy in the... errr.. flesh ..
I wash every Tuesday ok pal..
HH Sultan Vinegar 11 Dec 20:02
I have to say I'm impressed. Seemingly unrelated twists on the language seem to convey a wider, somehow more satisfying meaning. Half a No Egg Roll is likely to immortalise the enigmatic Handbag.
Thank you. Excellent insight & a well written short critique imo. I am pleased you appreciate it.
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