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Mavis "Hacksaw" Handbag
11 Dec 09 17:44
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Date Joined: 31 May 05
| Topic/replies: 2,295 | Blogger: Mavis "Hacksaw" Handbag's blog
This one doesn't rhyme but I believe has all the necessary literary requirements to make a top poem.


Half a no egg roll
by Mavis Handbag


As he wen'st to the shoppe
Steep'd full of thyne herb,
He utter'd three fathoms
His maker he did meet.

As they pounced 'pon the thatch
Hyne abridged on myne muggeridge!
The old man could but utter
''Tis a dark day in Somerset''.

For of course he referreth, not
To thine befudded hebrew mornings
Or thyne colour of thee coat
Twas the doom bestow'd 'pon fyve begge.

''All cometh together'', they cry
Uniteth in thine wisdom and billerye
Pertescent in thine eyes
Twas a long wait 'pon the farm.

Apons't on thyne waistcoat,
The farm boy fetch'd
Half a no egg roll
Without butter.


(c) Mavis Handbag 2009.

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Replies: 11
By:
Gene Hackman
When: 11 Dec 09 17:47
Oi Go'a braanew comboin 'arvisturr
By:
Mavis "Hacksaw" Handbag
When: 11 Dec 09 17:48
I'm pleased for you.
By:
Gene Hackman
When: 11 Dec 09 17:55
I take it that you did steal this "poem" from a Wurzels B-side?
By:
Mavis "Hacksaw" Handbag
When: 11 Dec 09 17:56
What is "Wurzels" B- side?

I thought that was a rough part of Manchester.
By:
Gene Hackman
When: 11 Dec 09 18:01
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btEpF334Rtc
By:
JUGADOR MEJOR
When: 11 Dec 09 18:03
Was that English?
By:
The Magic Flea
When: 11 Dec 09 18:05
what do you have against hebrew?
By:
Old Gregg's Designer Mangina
When: 11 Dec 09 18:12
my mum says you suck
By:
Magical Feast
When: 11 Dec 09 18:48
In tears here mate, you've moved me... really moved me.


Hark! The Mavis
By Robert Burns
1759-1796

CA' the yowes to the knowes,
Ca' them where the heather grows,
Ca' them where the burnie rows,
My bonnie dearie.

Hark! the mavis' evening sang
Sounding Clouden's woods amang,
Then a-faulding let us gang,
My bonnie dearie.

We'll gae down by Clouden side,
Through the hazels spreading wide,
O'er the waves that sweetly glide
To the moon sae clearly.

Yonder Clouden's silent towers,
Where at moonshine midnight hours
O'er the dewy bending flowers
Fairies dance sae cheery.

Ghaist nor bogle shalt thou fear;
Thou'rt to Love and Heaven sae dear,
Nocht of ill may come thee near,
My bonnie dearie.

Fair and lovely as thou art,
Thou hast stown my very heart;
I can die--but canna part,
My bonnie dearie.

While waters wimple to the sea;
While day blinks in the lift sae hie;
Till clay-cauld death shall blin' my e'e,
Ye shall be my dearie.

Ca' the yowes to the knowes .........



luv peace and respect.



p.s. Are you as diiiiiiiiiiiiiirttttyyyyy in the... errr.. flesh .. :p :x
By:
HH Sultan Vinegar
When: 11 Dec 09 19:02
I have to say I'm impressed. Seemingly unrelated twists on the language seem to convey a wider, somehow more satisfying meaning. Half a No Egg Roll is likely to immortalise the enigmatic Handbag.
By:
Mavis "Hacksaw" Handbag
When: 12 Dec 09 11:08
Since I'm again in 'the spotlight' I'd better take the time to respond to valued fans' feedback.

JUGADOR MEJOR 11 Dec 19:03
Was that English?


Yes. You numbskull.


The Magic Flea 11 Dec 19:05
what do you have against hebrew?


Nothing. Many of my friends speak in Hebrew and I am also a member of the Hebrew Appreciation Trust & Society (HATS). We have bowler hats emblazoned with hebrew scribes 'pon them.


Old Gregg's Designer Mangina 11 Dec 19:12
my mum says you suck


Well beggar me sideways.


Magical Feast 11 Dec 19:48
In tears here mate, you've moved me... really moved me.


That comment has moved me, so in return I am now in tears.

p.s. Are you as diiiiiiiiiiiiiirttttyyyyy in the... errr.. flesh ..

I wash every Tuesday ok pal..


HH Sultan Vinegar 11 Dec 20:02
I have to say I'm impressed. Seemingly unrelated twists on the language seem to convey a wider, somehow more satisfying meaning. Half a No Egg Roll is likely to immortalise the enigmatic Handbag.


Thank you. Excellent insight & a well written short critique imo. I am pleased you appreciate it.
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