Chit Chat
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Whilst theoretally I'm just about surfing life's turbulent waves to an adequate level. I reassessed (sic?) 15 minutes ago. What a loathsome joke I've become (aesthetically speaking) How does this happen? A gut with more waves than a Cornwall beach, and so many grey hairs, I'm no longer simply ''getting there''. All at an age when I should be in my prime.
There will be blokes playing in the world cup this year older than me, yet somehow I am this comical specimen. At 40 I could accept, mid thirties, I just can't. These genes are a joke.
The icing on the cake will be this Christmas. The stereotypical image of a fat uncle will in all possibilty be me. Dozing off after after a heavy lunch and 2 bottles of red. Portly stomach potruding through a jumper a size too small, Great Aunt's whispering about the renegade sicko in the corner. What a loathsome mess. 6m 42 inches long jump aged 15. Gone. Fat Uncle all systems go. Sick Times
There will be blokes playing in the world cup this year older than me, yet somehow I am this comical specimen. At 40 I could accept, mid thirties, I just can't. These genes are a joke.
The icing on the cake will be this Christmas. The stereotypical image of a fat uncle will in all possibilty be me. Dozing off after after a heavy lunch and 2 bottles of red. Portly stomach potruding through a jumper a size too small, Great Aunt's whispering about the renegade sicko in the corner. What a loathsome mess. 6m 42 inches long jump aged 15. Gone. Fat Uncle all systems go. Sick Times
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Special K or something, don't worry about it.
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You young 'uns are always showing off. You'll be old one day, like me.
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There really is no longer anything to show off. Facially I still rock it (especially in the summer with a tan and a beard) but my body is a mess both externally and internally. It's no fun, being a washed up aesthetic dinasoar when you have no wife, and the brides maids no longer want you. Being a poet and all round good egg cuts no ice in the modern era. Abs is where it's at, and I don't cut the mustard. Credit Crunch x Ten.
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Exercise...is the answer...
Cut down on booze and calories... |
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Facially I still rock it (especially in the summer with a tan and a beard)
:^0 get a harley and be done with it ffs |
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My tip, wear bigger jumpers.
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Very good call, Tevez. :)
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Excercise and eat well for next 12 weeks. Will drop off, trust me. Don't need to go to gym, get some weights and an excercise bike or treadmill. Get a dog to make you go out for walks etc. Then blow a shed load of cash on clothes, hair and contact lenses (if applicable) and hit the town.
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he'll be home by 9.00 p.m and mingling with the teens and early twentysomethings will crush his self esteem even more. When he's standing at the bar attempting to be in tune with the music he'll hear someone pipe up 'It's the old guy at the end having some sort of fit that's next to be served'
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Eat less, move around more.
S3x is good exercise and there is someone for everyone, start off with the pig you so clearly deserve and trade up as the pounds drop off. By next Xmas you'll be upto you nuts in Lilly Allens guts and thanking your Uncle Dessie. HTH |
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if his highlight is going to be lily allen , then there is no point in trying to look better
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You could hook up with Russell Grant and market yourselves as the Mystic Twins.
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Don't worry about it- you will probably be dead in another 40 years or so and none of this will matter.
I hope this posting raises your spirits and is comforting. Dr Aristotle Slicer PhD MB BS B Pharm MRCVS DRCOG Cert BHD On a 15 min break from being a Consultant in Combating Depression North Southeast Mumbai University |
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il be honest.. anyone up for starting another chit chat fat blokes lose weight thread ill be right on it.. :)
joined a gym yesterday. the thought of it makes me come out in sweat |
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Lily Allen in 12m, thereafter........
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S3x is good exercise
What's that please? |
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gastric band and Just For Men will transform you overnight
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chin up Santa!
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shirley you mean double chin up
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eat no carbs the weight will fall off you
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At 40 I could accept, mid thirties, I just can't. These genes are a joke.
The icing on the cake will be this Christmas. The stereotypical image of a fat uncle will in all possibilty be me. :^0 :^0 :^0 |
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Kettlebell for you BS. Indoor suffering is what you need.
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I was in a bad mood, but this thread has cheered me up :)
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