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Bloke goes into a hardwear shop and asks for a bottle of meths. Bloke behind the counter refuses to serve him, saying "I've seen you around here drinking meths, I'm not adding to your problem". Bloke says "No, no mate, I've recovered, I'm sa painter & decorator, doing a big job on a big house down the road, want to look after my brushes". Shopkeeper refuses. Again, much protestation of reform, and finally the shopkeeper relents. "Do you want 1/2 litre or 1 litre?" "1 litre please". Shopkeeper puts it on the counter, and the bloke says "have you got a cold one?". Boom boom!
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Seems like he was going to drink it, he was lying to the shopkeeper. For shame :(
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting '13! 13! 13!'
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the fence and looked through to see what was going on.
Some ** poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting '14! 14! 14!......'
LOOK - DON'T BLAME ME - YOU STARTED THIS....
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the fence and looked through to see what was going on.
Some ** poked me in the eye with a stick.
Then they all started shouting '14! 14! 14!......'
LOOK - DON'T BLAME ME - YOU STARTED THIS....
A bloke goes into an drugstore whilst on holiday in America.
"I'd like a packet of condoms, please."
"Certainly, sir. That will be $4.95 with tax."
"Tacks! I want the sort you roll on."
"I'd like a packet of condoms, please."
"Certainly, sir. That will be $4.95 with tax."
"Tacks! I want the sort you roll on."
TRUTH BE TOLD I WAS LOOKING OUT THROUGH THE ASYLUM FENCE :(
I don't know what I'm more offended about, Sea the Stars only giving the joke one out of ten, or him criticising my spelling!
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