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my son needs to make a joke book for his homework(!!), any (clean) contributions please??
eg. The one about the cat that ate a ball of wool and had mittens :0)
Cheers
eg. The one about the cat that ate a ball of wool and had mittens :0)
Cheers
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what did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam.
Dam.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
For being outstanding in his field.
For being outstanding in his field.
Did you hear about the tractor that could do magic tricks?
It turned into a field.
It turned into a field.
Plenty of jokes on the 'daily jokes' thread which should be suitable for such homework..
2 parrots on a perch an one says to the other
can you smell fish?
can you smell fish?
Three cows in a fieldbut which one is going on holiday?
The one with the wee calf.
The one with the wee calf.
I went to the doctors for something for my liver.
He gave me a pound of onions.
He gave me a pound of onions.
Two cannibals eating a clown
One says: Does this taste funny to you?
One says: Does this taste funny to you?
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a telephone?
A: A Golden Receiver.
A: A Golden Receiver.
Why have seagulls got wings?
So they can beat the pikeys to the tip.
So they can beat the pikeys to the tip.
A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'
The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.Or my younger brother Ho-Chau-Chou. But I think it's Colin.
What does the word "benign" mean?'
Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.
Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white?
A: A penguin rolling down a hill.
A: A penguin rolling down a hill.
Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
Q, what do you call a circumcised german
A, helmut schoen.
A, helmut schoen.
did you hear about the 2 gay ghosts?
they gave each other the willies
they gave each other the willies
why did batman go to the pet-shop?
to buy a robin!
to buy a robin!
Bert and Ernie were playing in a retired gentlemans 4 ball.
Ernie was just about to tee off on the 12th when Bert spotted a funeral cortege passing by, so he asked Ernie to wait to play, took off his cap and bowed in respect.
Ernie said "wow Bert, that was really courteous of you, good on you".
Bert replied "well, I was married to her for 46 years, so its the least I could do!".
Ernie was just about to tee off on the 12th when Bert spotted a funeral cortege passing by, so he asked Ernie to wait to play, took off his cap and bowed in respect.
Ernie said "wow Bert, that was really courteous of you, good on you".
Bert replied "well, I was married to her for 46 years, so its the least I could do!".
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