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1. Drinking
2. Gambling
3. Lying in bed past 10 am midweek
4. Leering at other women in the street
That sort of knocks this forum out on its arse then :^0
2. Gambling
3. Lying in bed past 10 am midweek
4. Leering at other women in the street
That sort of knocks this forum out on its arse then :^0
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Sorry, take that back, for women associated with the dead man.
having scabbed or infected testicles!
Twisting her n!pple whilst making a noise like you are tuning a radio in.
Everything, if they're in one of their usual, incalcitrant moods.
Sitting at the table banging your knife & fork onto it while chanting 'Dinner, dinner, dinner'
Only the truth, Bodil.
I'm always staggered at how women have such a downer on men without any justifiable cause, other than for the sheer sake of moaning about them.
I'm always staggered at how women have such a downer on men without any justifiable cause, other than for the sheer sake of moaning about them.
Salmon spawning springs to mind again. Have a good life, spread your sperm over any eggs (without meeting the mother) and then die.
Yes, but a lot of men aren't like that, but women (in general) ignore the fact.
This is interesting. Philosophical Tommy on Women.
In truth, even the best are somewhat clingy. As in bloodsucking. But they are genetically programmed to be that. Just as we are programmed to get the hell out of there.
Sometimes you meet the right one. Apparently.
I do know some perfect couples. Though by now one half is dead/gone, now I think about it.
In truth, even the best are somewhat clingy. As in bloodsucking. But they are genetically programmed to be that. Just as we are programmed to get the hell out of there.
Sometimes you meet the right one. Apparently.
I do know some perfect couples. Though by now one half is dead/gone, now I think about it.
The main trouble is, in my opinion, Bodil, is that most women somehow always think they're 'right' on whatsoever predisposes them.
They seem to have no acceptance (even if they're knowledgable/well educated) about the different things that programme males to females.
Men, on the whole, always know they're a different species, and happily trundle along with the differences.
Women (in the main) just won't accept that things which appeal to men are different to them, and then spend a lifetime moaning about it/them.
A futile and pointless way to go through life.
They seem to have no acceptance (even if they're knowledgable/well educated) about the different things that programme males to females.
Men, on the whole, always know they're a different species, and happily trundle along with the differences.
Women (in the main) just won't accept that things which appeal to men are different to them, and then spend a lifetime moaning about it/them.
A futile and pointless way to go through life.
Truly, Tommy, we are - deservedly - doomed as a species. And not before time. Ask me explain the reason why one day. I have worked it out. Just not today.
Can you imagine if there was such a programme as 'Loose Men' for an hour a day on mainstream tv, repeated late that night, where men did nothing but s lag off women/their partners for an hour?
It would be taken off within a week because of the 'anti men' brigade 'phoning to complain.
Yet the same programme hosted by women has run for many years (10?) on ITV now.
It would be taken off within a week because of the 'anti men' brigade 'phoning to complain.
Yet the same programme hosted by women has run for many years (10?) on ITV now.
There is some dreadfull **e. But that's more about the well deserved death of the human species. Can't come soon enough.
There are three kinds of people: d*icks, p*ussies and as*sholes.
P*ussies think everyone can get along and d*icks, reckless and arrogant they are, just want to f*uck all the time without thinking it through. But then, you got your as*shole who wants to ** all over everything.
So p*ussies may get mad at d*icks once in awhile because p*ussies get f*ucked by d*icks. P*ussies may think they can deal with as*sholes their way, but the only thing that can f*uck an as*shole is a d*ick with some balls.
The problem with d*icks is that sometimes they f*uck too much or f*uck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a p*ussy to show them that but sometimes p*ussies get so full of ** that they become as*sholes themselves because p*ussies are an inch and a half away from as*sholes.
If d*icks weren't allowed to f*uck as*sholes, we're going to have our d*icks and p*ussies all covered in **.
P*ussies think everyone can get along and d*icks, reckless and arrogant they are, just want to f*uck all the time without thinking it through. But then, you got your as*shole who wants to ** all over everything.
So p*ussies may get mad at d*icks once in awhile because p*ussies get f*ucked by d*icks. P*ussies may think they can deal with as*sholes their way, but the only thing that can f*uck an as*shole is a d*ick with some balls.
The problem with d*icks is that sometimes they f*uck too much or f*uck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a p*ussy to show them that but sometimes p*ussies get so full of ** that they become as*sholes themselves because p*ussies are an inch and a half away from as*sholes.
If d*icks weren't allowed to f*uck as*sholes, we're going to have our d*icks and p*ussies all covered in **.
Tommy Toes 18 Nov 02:19
Can you imagine if there was such a programme as 'Loose Men' for an hour a day on mainstream tv, repeated late that night, where men did nothing but s lag off women/their partners for an hour?
It would be taken off within a week because of the 'anti men' brigade 'phoning to complain.
Yet the same programme hosted by women has run for many years (10?) on ITV now.
By strange coincidence I was flicking through the channels last night and saw the late ediiton. I decided to put the subtitles on to see what earth shattering stuff they were waffling about.
888 was selected, and after a wait of 30 seconds, there were none.
I shall try this again tonight, if I remeember. It must be a pi$$-poor programme not to warrant subtitles.
Can you imagine if there was such a programme as 'Loose Men' for an hour a day on mainstream tv, repeated late that night, where men did nothing but s lag off women/their partners for an hour?
It would be taken off within a week because of the 'anti men' brigade 'phoning to complain.
Yet the same programme hosted by women has run for many years (10?) on ITV now.
By strange coincidence I was flicking through the channels last night and saw the late ediiton. I decided to put the subtitles on to see what earth shattering stuff they were waffling about.
888 was selected, and after a wait of 30 seconds, there were none.
I shall try this again tonight, if I remeember. It must be a pi$$-poor programme not to warrant subtitles.
i once payed my ex girlfriend £20 to suck my toes one night.
she now pops round every friday to do it for free...she loves it that much.
dont suppose many woman would go for that..she's a good egg
she now pops round every friday to do it for free...she loves it that much.
dont suppose many woman would go for that..she's a good egg
They don't it like when we can't tell them exactly what we're thinking.
We only don't tell them what we're thinking because we're thinking of something so weirdly idealistic that they couldn't possibly understand.
I used to fantasise about green figures on my betfair screen after a brilliant trade as I sat with my ex as we watched Ugly Betty. How could I possibly begin to explain where my mind was when she asked at that point? :D
We only don't tell them what we're thinking because we're thinking of something so weirdly idealistic that they couldn't possibly understand.
I used to fantasise about green figures on my betfair screen after a brilliant trade as I sat with my ex as we watched Ugly Betty. How could I possibly begin to explain where my mind was when she asked at that point? :D
there are 2 good ways to start the day:
1. lean close with your face a few inches above hers and stare. Her eyes will open within a minute or so - when they do SCREAM at the top of your voive.
2. on the odd ocaison her eyes wont open- then revert to plan B:
push her nose with your finger making loud BEEPING noises as you press- a la a car horn.
The louder the better imo.
Please try and report back in tomorrow.
1. lean close with your face a few inches above hers and stare. Her eyes will open within a minute or so - when they do SCREAM at the top of your voive.
2. on the odd ocaison her eyes wont open- then revert to plan B:
push her nose with your finger making loud BEEPING noises as you press- a la a car horn.
The louder the better imo.
Please try and report back in tomorrow.
my lovely wife is in for a hospital op in a couple of weeks
its an early start so i've suggested that she sleep in the spare bedroom so that she doesn't wake me when she leaves
its an early start so i've suggested that she sleep in the spare bedroom so that she doesn't wake me when she leaves
my lovely wife is in for a hospital op in a couple of weeks
its an early start so i've suggested that she sleep in the spare bedroom so that she doesn't wake me when she leaves
its an early start so i've suggested that she sleep in the spare bedroom so that she doesn't wake me when she leaves
I've found that ringing a bell when I require a cup of tea or can't quite reach the remote without stretching can provoke a disproportunate stare. Unbef00kinlievable.
Full marks on that one Cooperman. Yesterday, as my mrs busied herself in the kitchen, I silently lamented the fact that I didn't have a bell to attract her attention when I realised my can of ale needed replacing.
List of things/traits that women don't like in Men ?
Buttplugs
Another woman's tongue
A steak and kidney pie
A colostomy bag
A gastric band
Buttplugs
Another woman's tongue
A steak and kidney pie
A colostomy bag
A gastric band
If you can't make them laugh, and at least occasionally get them a bit squelchy downstairs then you are doomed!
I find hiding the Tena lady helps with the last bit.
Knocking on bedroom floor with a walking stick if I'm having a lie in and need a cuppa always seems to get a negative response, although I occasionally ring her if my mobile's to hand.
stopping in the middle of sex and walking out of the room, doesnt go down well.
Fall asleep half way through i wouldnt dare try that one.
My missus expected our relationship to be straight out of a Mills & Boon book. Sadly very disappointed
The Attractive Girls Union are very hard to please, best to go for ugly ones
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/attractive_girls_union_refuses_to
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/attractive_girls_union_refuses_to
HRH The Lager Khan 18 Nov 15:25
If you can't make them laugh, and at least occasionally get them a bit squelchy downstairs then you are doomed!
As usual, your highness, you have hit the nail on the head. Although I wish you could have been a bit more romantic than 'a bit squelchy downstairs' ! Over three years on here and this is the first time I have seen a man combine my two favourite things. Men do not seem to realise that if a woman's vagina is not wet then they are almost certainly not turned on, no matter what noises they make.
If you can't make them laugh, and at least occasionally get them a bit squelchy downstairs then you are doomed!
As usual, your highness, you have hit the nail on the head. Although I wish you could have been a bit more romantic than 'a bit squelchy downstairs' ! Over three years on here and this is the first time I have seen a man combine my two favourite things. Men do not seem to realise that if a woman's vagina is not wet then they are almost certainly not turned on, no matter what noises they make.
Men do not seem to realise that if a woman's vagina is not wet then they are almost certainly not turned on, no matter what noises they make
or simply dont care ;)
brilliantly blunt post btw, made me lol so it did
or simply dont care ;)
brilliantly blunt post btw, made me lol so it did
I am walking a tightrope between nervous terror and heightened arousal after reading that, it's quite nice ;)
I think you should be the chit chat's agony aunt, your highness. You are almost the only man on here who understands women.
:)
:)
Agony Aunt - holy crap! I am the last person people should look to for advice, especially on women. As I write this I can see a sniper in the tree outside sent by my last girlfriend.
Nope, that's me and it's not you I'm aiming at.
At least that's something, but the way my luck is going you'll miss the intended target and shoot me in the arse.
I'm a truck driver. Of course I'm good at darts.
Well it's no wonder your back is playing up if you are cooped up all day in a cab, eating Ginsters pies and dreaming of being Phil Taylor
What about a massive, hairy mole, covering half of his torso, shaped like Munch's Scream.
I've learned to my cost women hate the word 'fine' (as in not great but not bad)
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