Valid things it's really difficult to say to a member of the opposite sex

that was awful

:( I thought it was quite good

Nice c0ck

tbh I find that's not too difficult.

that was a bit soft

I was thinking more along the lines of

You look ridiculous in those jeans.

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh.

"Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse.In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Fred said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest man thingy the nurse had ever seen.
Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then almost fell to the floor laughing. A few minutes later she was able to regain her composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came over me. On my honour as
a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Fred replied.

Things went downhill from there..

You have breath like a baboon's backside?

Yes,your arse does look big in that,now get to the bar.

Sorry, I wasn't listening...I was reading 'How to tell without asking if breasts are real or not?' on the forum.

i love you seems to be a toughie

yes it does look big

Roquebrune 15 Nov 18:59


Yes,your arse does look big in that,now get to the bar.

.........................................................................

Variation on this:

"Does my bum look big in this?"

"Of course it does, you've got a fat a**e"

Can we just have a lunchtime affair please?

if you dont want to feck-feck off
or if you are from norfolk, yes i know im your brother but

MissP.

you're not a woman, you're a very naughty truckdriver.

oh hang on.

youe a$$ looks huge in that

She's lovely - and her ass was within acceptable bounds, a few years ago.

Fair enough?

MissP. Exhausted by the Chicago Bulls?

miss p,is that yet another grey one?

Jet lag, I expect.

I truly despise your parents, I like you but I hate them.

bodil

Guess what - it was lovely weather!

you really are the spit of your mother :(

We can still be friends.

I am surprised. Global warming. Did you have a great steak?

I had an great miniature barbecue on the table. More red meat than one could handle at a sitting.

Well, I can't promise you that.

:)

Perhaps you could read me an improving book.

wish i could do a bbq in my living room

think it would permanently stink my house out?

TRaMP :x

Oh yes. I have so many books that would make you an irresisitble force. Or somethint like that.

put some foundation on, you've just given me a fright

:x EGG

i remember being asked........" how do i look?"......before a night out once.....my reply was "like eddie izzard but less feminine!"...needless to say it wasnt taken very well!

Drink.

Do the ironing.

I haven't ironed for over a decade. It felt good. But I am a good ironer.


Why did I say that?

Probably the drink.

i iron for 5 mins every morning

no way am devoting an hour just to do ironing

Can I open a bookies a/c in your name darling?

Indeed, you have to have balls of brass to admit to being a good, nay, great, ironer.

OK MIssP, I'm sticking to this thead - FOREVER. Amuse me. Or destroy me. Hey.

I'm lying, of course. Club 'em to death.


Except we both know we I don't mean that. Mutter.....

OK bodil. How about this for starters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtqGoHouoE0

You thought it might be your ex?

Well' that surprised the hell out of me. Apostrophe and all.

Yes. But he's a bit younger and he had an alibi on several occasions.

mate said the best ride was when he was giving his girlfriend one doggy fashion,
held on for grim death then whispered in her ear.............................











"you're much better than your sister"

But never mind that. What do you think of the Ladytron?

Good stuff - but too early MissP. Even I know the crunch has some years to come Timing is so important.

Guessing you don't use the shuffle setting on your ipod then.

Good but a little trite.

What's an ipod?

lol

i dont really know what an ipod is either

sorry, I can't laugh any more.

Ladytron - how can I say this without exposing our age? Were a little past it.

hmmm...

but I don't know what an ipod does

Don't be silly bodil, that song is ancient.

MissP. Just in case this escapes all known communications know to men - I'd love to lick all your nether bits. Thats all.

Good to know.

A spelling mistake. Such rage....

It's good to know it's good to know.

Are you sufficiently amused bodil? I still have a couple of shirts to stiffen.

Now I must hunt down alll other posters but us and kill them painfully,

:)

God speed.

MissP, I can frolic in your waves forever. I can also kill who you wish.

I've been messing things about. Why? I'm so sweet.

MissP.

OK, last one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMD7FIpq11Q

Oh, MissP. We both laugh.

How odd - One Day Like This is a magnificnt construct. Let us dance in celebration.

Kiss me like we'll never meet.

bodil, you in there yet?

MissP is not one of the in-yet-people-already people yet. If ever.

aye she's an odd one her

she needs to come to Scotland and find herself

Probably not.


Excuse me for a while - I'm sorting drunk things out. But when I emerge I'll fk the lot of you. Posssibly.

not with that tiny thing

Right - I have MissP forever. And you can go seek oblivion in whatever. Easy-peasy.

brush up on your table etiquette

"When did you turn from my saucy soulmate in to a sexually sedated hippopotamus ** from hell?"

"We want a girlfriend so we can stop masturbating - then we want to get rid of her so we can start again"