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How are the Indians gonna win without Pedro (Bats with hats) Cyrano, Willie "Mayes" Hayes and Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughan, not to mention Roger Dorn?
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And what about their captain Jake Taylor, why isn't he in the team?
Monica Monica |
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Pedro Cerrano: "Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball."
Eddie Harris: "You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?" |
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Jake Taylor: [to Rexman] "Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, your team down by one in the ninth. You got a chance to be a hero on national television... if you don't blow it. By the way, saw your wife last night, hell of a dancer, you must be very, very proud. I mean that guy she was with, I'm sure he's a close personal friend and all. But tell me, what was he doing wearing her panties on his head?"
[Rexman pops the ball straight up] Jake Taylor: "Uh-oh, that's it, I don't think this one's got the distance." |
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Harry Doyle: So a tough loss for the Indians as Pedro Cerrano doubles off a pigeon and is tagged out while administering CPR before the tying run could score. Funny game ain't it Monty?
Monte: Well at least the bird survived. Harry Doyle: Who cares? It's a rat with wings. |
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Harry Doyle: [drunk] So, Hiroshi "Kamikaze" Tanaka, recently of the Tokyo Giants, knocks himself cold for the second time this week. Maybe in Japan, that's actually better than catching the ball. Personally, I think he's just trying to get out of the lineup.
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Lou Brown: OK, we won a game yesterday. If we win today, it's called "two in a row". And if we win again tomorrow, it's called a "winning streak"... It has happened before!
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Rube Baker: We're in the goldarn major leagues, boys. I don't know about any of you, but I've been waiting my whole life to get here. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna act like my best pig died just cuz we ain't doin' so good. I love to play baseball and I'll bet, somewhere along the line, you all did too.
[turns to Jake] Rube Baker: I'm ready to play ball if you need me. My Dad figured I wouldn't amount to much except... well, I never came up with anything, but I know I can play ball a little. And a day of playin' ball is better than what most people have to do for a living. So just put me in someplace. |
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Jack Parkman: What do you call that garbage?
Rick Vaughn: It's my eliminator. I've got another pitch. You get a piece of it, I'll let you name it. [Vaughn pitches and Parman hits the ball out of the park] Jack Parkman: I'd, uh, call it the masturbator. |
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Rube Baker: Mr. Parkman, your a great ballplayer and I just like to say, your standing on the tracks and the train's coming through butthead.
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Cerrano: [goes up to bat] Parkman, my good friend. How you doing?
Jack Parkman: Look at the scoreboard, Buddha, I'm doing just fine. Cerrano: That last pitch man: that was beautiful. [hits home run] Cerrano: Not as beautiful as that though! [laughs] Cerrano: [to Parkman after rounding the bases] Look. At. The. Scoreboard. Now, Grasshopper! |
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Harry Doyle: [drunk] Bottom of the 9th, Cleveland down 1 to nothing. Baker steps in he's 0 for... I don't know. Who cares? The pitch
[Baker hits a slow roller and limps down the line] Harry Doyle: Baker swings and sends a *real screamer* towards short. Ah wrap up with it, fires to first... and Baker beats it with a head-first slide. So the Indians have a runner. I think I'll wet my pants. |
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Rick Vaughn: [Parkman visits Vaughn at the mound after Vaughn gives up three straight hits] What?
Jack Parkman: WHAT? They're hammering the slow crap. Think your arm can handle the strain of throwing this guy a fastball? Rick Vaughn: Look, I'll throw it, you just make sure you catch it. Jack Parkman: I will if it ever gets to me. |
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Harry Doyle: Rick Vaughn gets the starting call today. We're told he matured a lot over the winter. Apparently he's bathing now. Congratulations, Rick. As you know, Monte, Vaughn's been working on a couple of new pitches, the Eliminator and the Humilator, to complement his fastball, the Terminator.
Monte: I heard that. Harry Doyle: Dynamite drop-in, Monte. That broadcast school has really paid off. |
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Harry Doyle: My God! Good news fans, the Indians are showing signs of life for the first time in weeks. As a matter of fact they appear to be beating the crap out of each other. It looks like Willie Hayes is trying to hit Rick Vaughn, and why not, everyone else in the league does. Hayes swings and misses. I don't know Monte, it looks like Vaughn is carrying his left a little low. This could hurt him in the later rounds.
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Tanaka: [after find out Phelps has bought the team] Miss Phelps.
[Speaking in Japanese] Tanaka: May you be mounted by a rabid dog. You're lower than rat excrement |
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Rube Baker: Hey. Ya know Ricky, breaking up with a girlfriend can be a very painful thing. But it don't have to keep ya down for long. I mean, let me tell ya something from my own personal experience. I've never had a regular girlfriend like you, but I did get kicked in the balls once by a mule. Now, I thought I would be hurting for the rest of my life. But you know what happened the very next week?
Rick Vaughn: What? Rube Baker: My momma died. Hell, after that, I didn't care no more about my balls hurtin'. You see what I'm gettin' at? |
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Johnny: [seeing Rick Vaughn coming out of the dugout and heading into the bullpen] Vile Thing, I think I *loathe* you! You did think I'd abandon you, did you Vaughn? You human piece of cow slop! You big steaming pile of mastodon dung! Bring out the pooper scooper! You bush league no-talent flash in the pan choke artist! Huh?
[Vaughn starts to walk back to the dugout] Johnny: Hey, where you going, Vaughn, huh? You looking for your Terminator, Vaughn? Yeah, you go back in there, Vaughn! |
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Lou Brown: [after the Indians take the lead, Lou is using his Transistor radio to listen to the game] Now we're starting to roll, boys.
Lou's Nurse: Are you alright, Mr. Brown? Lou Brown: Uh, yeah. I love this British stuff. [the scene goes to the small TV which has 2 British women drinking tea] Lou Brown: [after Parkman hits a home run, putting the White Sox Back in the Lead] Damn. [Looks to his nurse] Lou Brown: This is tragic stuff. [after Ceranno hits a home run, putting the Indians back in the lead] Lou Brown: Good one, Pedro. Big knock, baby. Big knock Lou's Nurse: [after the Indians win the ALCS, Lou is jumping up and down on his bed] Mr. Brown. What are you doing? Lou Brown: I love this ****, I may move to England |
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The Indians win game 1! The Indians win game 1!
Pedro Cerrano: Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come. |
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It's not looking good for Roger Dorn.
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Cricket thread in front of Henry is a red flag to a bull---next to US basketball cricket is biggest rorted game on the globe even with the gambling addicted aus team
I will have to cover this thread up with tape |
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Righto
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Cant find the tape --be grateful if comments suggesting the game is genuine be kept to a minimal--fighto...
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Cricket thread?
I think you'll find the only crickets around here are in your wallet. Monica Monica |
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Down 6-2.......NOW 6 ALL!!!!!!!!!!!
Bring on PEDRO!!!! |
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Getting exciting, top of the ninth!
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6-6 top of the tenth.
Rain Delay! Lou Brown:I love this British sh1t! I may move to England! |
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Cubs 7 Indians 6....bases loaded.
The curse of the donkey will be broken today. Should've used Wild Thing to pitch today! |
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Steve Bartman is somewhere celebrating like it's 1999!!!!
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8-7 2 out bottom of the 10th Game 7 World series game 7.
A chance for immortality. |
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The Cubs WIN!
The curse is broken! Bartman is forgiven! Great game!! |
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Smells a bit fishy to me.
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CUBS WIN at 12:47am! Chicago goes OFF!! (unless you're a Sox fan that is.)
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Obviously FIXED and DRUGGED........by Hillary!!!
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Great movies the first two major league movies ,a lot of fun.
The world indeed must be coming to an end though with the Cubs winning the world series, there's a remarkable confluence of events occurring. |
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I wonder when Mr StayPuft marshmallow man is going to appear and destroy the world
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