Celebrities Begin Arriving in Boort ...

Richard Clayderman

Vladimir Putin

and DoubleAgent

The Harlem Globetrotters

Former Pope Benedict

Peter Russell Clarke

I heard Peter Russell Clarke be signing 'I luv Boort' caps for the fans

Salman Rushdie has had it on his bucket list for years

I believe so Kye ...

Silvio Berlusconi is judging the wet t-shirt comp with his mate Vlad Putin!

The King of Tonga

The Luton Town football team

and Molly Meldrum

Psy?

The cast and crew of Hey Dad

Glenn Pollett and

Imelda Marcos ...

TeenQueen going to run/work in the boort brothel

Wycheproof netball team

Mayor of Birchip

Charles Manson has arrived to present the trophy for the Helter Skelter FFA

Oscar Pistorius

His flight hasn't landed yet Joel.

Boort Airboort is chockablock with planes and passangers at the moment, they're in a holding pattern that stretches back to Sydney

Rumours are the first station in the high speed rail network will be Boort

yes I heard that rumour too Joel.

Cliff Young has just arrived, a bit outa breath

Lucky the Boort Sebel Townhouse has put on extra rooms for all of these guests

Warwick Capper

Casper Weinberger

and the Wiggles are here now

Julian Clarey

Bob Katter

Gary Glitter

Contestants from My Kitchen Rules will be catering for the whole event. keeping Dickie Knee satisfied will be difficult

Julian Assange is booked on the early flight tomorrow morning.

I hope he makes it in time ... he's entered in the egg and spoon race at 8:30am.

personally I'm looking forward most to the Mexican Drug Lord Line Dancing Exhibition ...

Local betting companies Sportingboort Boort365 & Luxboort have told punters all bets will be accepted any size not like their namesakes in the big smoke

That's great news Gardenstar ... Race 2 looks interesting, a race for Boort owned pacers ...

1. Boort Bromac
2. Boort Hanover
3. Boort Adios
4. Boort Lombo
5. Boort Hondo
6. Boort Lobell

Don't forget Lombo Boort Bryant

Wes Komorowski has just arrived to a rousing reception ... Peter V'Landy's, honorary Mayor of Boort for the weekend hands Wes the keys to the city

Strong rumours are the white smoke was shown from the Vatican so early so that all involved could catch the flight to Boort

and an even stronger rumour is that Cardinal Pell won't be returning to Australia in person, but his ashes will ...

Will they be attending Boort Cup Day?

But that's right Joel, Alitalia doesn't fly direct to Boort, they have several stopovers Bahrain, Singapore and Cobram

And don't forget, every one of these celebrities is dressed by John Karandonis and chooses to stay at the Boort Sebel Townhouse when in Boort.

They also take with them

A Whale 2 minute car wash at Cremorne and Bondi Junction,
Patra Orange Juice
Midford Shirt
and  something from Kevin Junee's "Run For Your Life" Sports Store

..... and of course the most famous of all - me! little fat ol' gorgeous LIH

Actually LIH, your Sushi stand has been closed down by health inspectors and you've been ordered to spend the weekend in the Boort lock-up in a cell with Glenn Boss who arrived in Boort a short time ago unannounced without an invitation.

Bernie Ecclestone has snubbed the Melbourne Grand Prix and has just arrived in Boort and is now trying to buy the town for his daughters. He has confirmed the Grand Prix will move to Boort if he can convince the Boort Caravan Park owners to allow the pits be in the toilet block

Arnold Swazzanegger arrived and left almost immediately as he rec a phone call from Hollywood calling him back to make Terminator 5. The last thing he said before he hopped back in his limo was "Ill be Boort"

Nikki Webster has arrived to sing the National Anthem before the Cup.

Shannon Noll will be performing after the last in the ancient rusty tin shed betting ring for the bourbon swilling local Boortonians.

For the VIPs and members Kamal will be performing in the upstairs members wine bar.

Mario Bortolotto has just arrived in his home town

a cool 9degrees atm warming up to a comfortable 23
we are just firing up the BBQ at the moment and a steady stream of locals, tourists and trainers are making their way here for some famous Boort Butchery sausages and bacon. We even expect the local aboriginal tribe The Boort Boort people) to join us at some stage

I was reading the Boort Gazette today and stumbled upon an article hidden away on page 305. Apparently Clark Gable was spotted,somewhere in Boort,  riding a bicycle on the wrong  side of the road. He was pulled over by an attractive young policewoman, who advised him that for his own safety, could he please move over to the left side of the road. Clarke gave the policewoman  his hollywood grin, and as he road off, still on the wrong side,he was heard to mutter the words,"Frankly my dear,I dont give a Boort"

Marc Lamboort's tips and markets are now up the website. He and Rob Boorterhouse are on their way to the track where they're confident that the internet reception is better than Rosehill

I just seen Tony Barber and his Missus walking down Main St in Boort.

Across the road in the Boort Apex Park they were starting to set up the local Boort and Districts Shire Sunday Market.

Tony spotted the market and quick as a Boort CFA truck on its way to a bushfire spun around and screamed at his Missus in an excited over the top voice'.... .....  ' Leeettts Go Shopping! '

I heard a rumour a Mr Obama has snuck into town???

LOL-Big Earn

NEWSFLASH!!!!!!


Mathew Newton has just punched the fark out of a 15yo checkout chic out the Boort IGA for double scanning a pack of chewies.

As the only copper in Boort is too busy directing the chaotic traffic in Main St. Matty has escaped and the girl has been taken to the Boort Shire General Hospital for treatment.

You read it here first will be all over the TV news tonight.

was the incident captured on CCTV??

or are all the cameras at the track